Electricity is the power that causes all natural phenomena not known to be caused by something else.
Ambrose Bierce
Related
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EDDIE WOOD There are four kinds of homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy.” ~ Ambrose ...
J.J. MCAVOY I don?t know if this sport is ready for Marcos Ambrose. He?s something else. He?s the biggest racing...
EDDIE WOOD The knowledge of anything, since all things have causes, is not acquired or complete unless it is kn...
AVICENNA No formal course in fiction-writing can equal a close and observant perusal of the stories of Edgar ...
H. P. LOVECRAFT It is, of course, quite natural that a biologist whose attention had been aroused by noticing in his...
ELIE METCHNIKOFF No new power plant will be allowed to consume natural gas for electricity generation from the year 2...
MAHMUDUR RAHMAN War has its necessities...and I have always understood that. Always known the cost. But, this day, b...
STEVEN ERIKSON We will briefly mention some peculiarities frequently manifested by a degenerate. He is tormented by...
MAX NORDAU I was not influenced by composers as much as by natural objects and physical phenomena.
EDGARD VARESE If one assumes, as I do, that battery is caused by the belief permeating this culture that hierarchi...
BELL HOOKS Market prices are continuing to soften for natural gas (nationwide). You see that show up in electri...
CLAUDIA RAPKOCH Pain Is Caused By Pleasure
SULLY ERNA The power of all animals are known ,the power of nature is known , the power of God is also known bu...
KOWSALAPATHY Education in Emergencies signifies that the right to education is being threatened by natural causes...
MOZA BINT NASSER All I ever did to that apartment was hang fifty yards of yellow theatrical silk across the bedroom w...
JOAN DIDION We can never make proper goodbyes. It was your last ride in a Checker cab and you had no warning. It...
COLSON WHITEHEAD The start of it all is something not usually known. It could be commenced by a large avalanche or a ...
ASTRAEA L. SKYLAR Although I insist that God has always had the power to intervene directly in nature to create new fo...
PHILLIP E. JOHNSON Although to penetrate into the intimate mysteries of nature and thence to learn the true causes of p...
LEONHARD EULER I've accepted that I'm not going to die of natural causes, [but] getting killed 'cuz you're naturall...
RANDY K. MILHOLLAND Anything that happens, happens.
Anything that, in happening, causes something else to hap...
DOUGLAS ADAMS We call those works of art concrete that came into being on the basis of their inherent resources an...
MAX BILL Depression is not caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain, and it is not cured by medication. De...
IRVING KIRSCH If we suppose that many natural phenomena are in effect computations, the study of computer science ...
RUDY RUCKER The greenhouse effect of carbon-dioxide emissions does produce gentle warming if it is not counterac...
CONRAD BLACK All power corrupts, but we need the electricity.
UNKNOWN The American people would not want to know of any misquotes that Dan Quayle may or may not make. �...
VICE PRESIDENT DAN QUAYLE Genius . . . arises in the natural, aboriginal concern for the conscious unity of all phenomena.
MARY AUSTIN Genius . . . arises in the natural, aboriginal concern for the conscious unity of all phenomena.
MARY AUSTIN Understanding is nothing else than conception caused by speech.
THOMAS HOBBES All empires fall, eventually.”
“But why? It’s not for lack of power. In fact, it seems t...
MAX BARRY Theories that diseases are caused by mental states and can be cured by will power, are always an ind...
SUSAN SONTAG There very likely was something else going on that caused this event,
DAVID SIM The water cycle consists of three phenomena – evaporation, precipitation, and collection- which ar...
LEMONY SNICKET Pain and fear and hunger are effects of causes which can be foreseen and known: but sorrow is a debt...
FREYA STARK All faith consists essentially in the recognition of a world of spiritual values behind, yet not apa...
DEAN INGE I would say the odds are very high that it's a homicide. It does not appear to be natural causes or ...
CAPT. JON FROOMIN Death in its natural state can be very beautiful. When you think about a body that's died of nat...
CAITLIN DOUGHTY The rules of scientific investigation always require us, when we enter the domains of conjecture, to...
MATTHEW FONTAINE MAURY It's unfortunate to be bitten by political ambition. The deadly disease causes a man to want to acce...
BANGAMBIKI HABYARIMANA Being present is being connected to All Things.
S. KELLEY HARRELL, M. DIV. I believe all complicated phenomena can be explained by simpler scientific principles.
LINUS PAULING Nobody or Nowhere? Fern: I'd rather be nobody at home than somebody somewhere else.
Ambrose: I'...
AMY HARMON I certainly hope my music is in no way, shape or form influenced by anything that would be known as ...
CHARLIE HUNTER I then endeavoured to show that it is more especially in the thorough conformity with law which natu...
HERMANN VON HELMHOLTZ Kindness is universal. Sometimes being kind allows others to see the goodness in humanity through yo...
GERMANY KENT The family does not believe their son died of natural causes.
BEN CRUMP Even if it was just a water balloon, even if they didn't realize how much damage they were doing, th...
BETH MARTIN All power is within you; you can do anything and everything. Believe in that, do not believe that yo...
SWAMI VIVEKANANDA We all wanted to do something different by not charging admission. We want to make art accessible an...
JASON BOWEN States seem to have a natural life cycle, and anything can occur to change them into something else,...
NORMAN DAVIES To be, or not to be, that is the question.
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE It appears that there was very likely something else going on in his case that caused him to have th...
DAVID SIM Any theory which causes solipsism to seem just as likely an explanation for the phenomena it seeks t...
IAIN M. BANKS But nothing in India is identifiable, the mere asking of a question causes it to disappear or to mer...
E. M. FORSTER Some people ask, why don't you let nature take it's course? My answer is that most of the injuries a...
BEV SHOFSTALL A scientist in his laboratory is not a mere technician: he is also a child confronting natural pheno...
MARIE CURIE The worst possible turn can not be programmed. It is caused by coincidence.
FRIEDRICH DURRENMATT Fifty percent of the electricity generated in Texas is dependent on natural gas.
CARLOS SANTOS The two men had a conversation. Brief, cryptic, to the point. As though they had exchanged numbers a...
ARUNDHATI ROY The power of Kings and Magistrates is nothing else, but what is only derivative, transferrd and comm...
JOHN MILTON If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.
KATHARINE HEPBURN If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.
GEORGE GOBAL If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.
GEORGE GOBEL Even if I knew nothing of the atoms, I would venture to assert on the evidence of the celestial phen...
LUCRETIUS Even if I knew nothing of the atoms, I would venture to assert on the evidence of the celestial phen...
LUCRETIUS We should seek by all means in our power to avoid war, by analysing possible causes, by trying to re...
NEVILLE CHAMBERLAIN All negativity is caused by an accumulation of psychological time and denial of the present. Unease,...
ECKHART TOLLE It is not accidental that all phenomena of human life are dominated by the search for daily bread - ...
IVAN PAVLOV [The rise in energy costs caused by Katrina is] going to start taking money out of people's pockets ...
HANS OLSEN She told me that my rape was not my fault, that I should feel no shame, that – simple as it may so...
ASPEN MATIS The firefighters said it was caused by something electrical.
CHARLES DUNCAN Famine is not caused by a shortage of food; it's caused by a shortage of justice,
DUNCAN MCLAREN By violating the Federal Power Act and charging illegal prices, wholesale power companies were able ...
BILL LOCKYER Many a man was caused to perish by something that he and many men cherish.
MOKOKOMA MOKHONOANA 4.38 TONE OF SPEECH
Most of the problems of life that be,
Are caused by the tone of ...
MUNINDRA MISRA The most common form of giantism is a condition called acromegaly, and acromegaly is caused by a ben...
MALCOLM GLADWELL If the presence of electricity can be made visible in any part of the circuit, I see no reason why i...
SAMUEL MORSE To be or not to be. That's not really a question.
JEAN-LUC GODARD Science is not a thing. It's a verb. It's a way of thinking about things. It's a way of ...
MICHAEL SHERMER The humiliation that Jane had felt turned to something else--grief perhaps, or regret. Regret that s...
BEVERLY CLEARY The natural condition of the modern conservative movement is to always be in a state of revolution. ...
CRAIG SHIRLEY My feeling is that scientific method has the power to account for and interlink all phenomena in the...
PAUL DAVIES Approximately 60 percent of our energy, looking at next year, will be generated by coal. The coal wi...
KAREN KOLLMAN Whenever known and sufficient causes are available, it is anti-scientific to discard them in favour ...
MAX WEBER Because isn’t that the point of every relationship: to be known by someone else, to be understood?...
GILLIAN FLYNN Faith is not uprooted by dialectic proof; it must already be deeply shaken by other causes to be una...
EMILE DURKHEIM All the bloodsheds in human history have been caused by men, not women.
ABHIJIT NASKAR Maybe happiness is this: not feeling that you should be elsewhere, doing something else, being someo...
ERIC WEINER We don't have enough electricity because we don't have enough power stations.
ANDREW KENNY Power poles and trees were down, roofs were blown off and there was no electricity. Those were sad s...
MIKE KOBO If someone has a disease that caused bleeding, that causes bleeding, that could cause bleeding in th...
AMOS KORCZYN If someone has a disease that caused bleeding, that causes bleeding, that could cause bleeding in th...
AMOS KORCZYN If someone has a disease that caused bleeding, that causes bleeding, that could cause bleeding in th...
AMOS KORCZYN This new war, like the previous one, would be a test of the power of machines against people and pla...
WENDELL BERRY His failures are as valuable as his successes: by misjudging one thing he conforms something else, e...
BRIDGET RILEY These coal-fired generators now can be used in conjunction with our other units at this site, fueled...
DENNIS MURPHY Anyone who has ever stopped to watch a hawk in flight will know that this is one of the natural worl...
JOHN BURNSIDE Be kind. We never know what people are going through. Give grace and mercy because one day your circ...
GERMANY KENT
More Ambrose Bierce
Destiny: A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure.
AMBROSE BIERCE Belladonna, n.: In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the e...
AMBROSE BIERCE Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.
AMBROSE BIERCE Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate.
AMBROSE BIERCE Immortality: A toy which people cry for, And on their knees apply for, Dispute, contend and lie for,...
AMBROSE BIERCE Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
AMBROSE BIERCE Suffrage, noun. Expression of opinion by means of a ballot. The right of suffrage (which is held to ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Laziness. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree.
AMBROSE BIERCE Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
AMBROSE BIERCE Doubt is the father of invention.
AMBROSE BIERCE Life - a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
AMBROSE BIERCE Men become civilized, not in proportion to their willingness to believe, but in proportion to their ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Cabbage: a familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.
AMBROSE BIERCE Photograph: a picture painted by the sun without instruction in art.
AMBROSE BIERCE Cynic, n: a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be.
AMBROSE BIERCE Deliberation, n.: The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on.
AMBROSE BIERCE Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Liberty:one of imaginations most precious possessions.
AMBROSE BIERCE Quoting: the act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
AMBROSE BIERCE Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.
AMBROSE BIERCE Success is the one unpardonable sin against our fellows.
AMBROSE BIERCE Optimist: a proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
AMBROSE BIERCE Litigant: a person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bone.
AMBROSE BIERCE Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.
AMBROSE BIERCE Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.
AMBROSE BIERCE OCEAN, n. A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man -- who has no gills.
AMBROSE BIERCE ZEAL, n. A certain nervous disorder afflicting the young and inexperienced. A passion that goeth b...
AMBROSE BIERCE For every man there is something in the vocabulary that would stick to him like a second skin. His e...
AMBROSE BIERCE Education, n.: That which discloses the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understand...
AMBROSE BIERCE Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
AMBROSE BIERCE Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
AMBROSE BIERCE Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
AMBROSE BIERCE You don't have to be stupid to be a Christian, ... but it probably helps.
AMBROSE BIERCE Ocean, n. A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man — who has no g...
AMBROSE BIERCE Fidelity. A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
AMBROSE BIERCE Incompatibility. In matrimony a similarity of tastes, particularly the taste for domination.
AMBROSE BIERCE The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity.
AMBROSE BIERCE Marriage. The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress and two slaves, m...
AMBROSE BIERCE Bride. A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
AMBROSE BIERCE What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republi...
AMBROSE BIERCE Nominee. A modest gentleman shrinking from the distinction of private life and diligently seeking th...
AMBROSE BIERCE Learning. The kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious.
AMBROSE BIERCE Consult. To seek another's approval of a course already decided on.
AMBROSE BIERCE Happiness is an agreeable sensation, arising from contemplating the misery of others.
AMBROSE BIERCE Life. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
AMBROSE BIERCE Acquaintance: a degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor or obscure, and intimate ...
AMBROSE BIERCE An acquaintance is someone we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.
AMBROSE BIERCE A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
AMBROSE BIERCE Beauty. The power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.
AMBROSE BIERCE Let me tell you what a writer is. A writer takes comprehensive views, holds large convictions, makes...
AMBROSE BIERCE Corporation. An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility.
AMBROSE BIERCE Don't steal; thou it never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.
AMBROSE BIERCE Philanthropist. A rich (and usually bald) old gentleman who has trained himself to grin while his co...
AMBROSE BIERCE Age. That period of life in which we compound for the vices that remain by reviling those we have no...
AMBROSE BIERCE Success is the one unpardonable sin against one's fellows.
AMBROSE BIERCE Education is that which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understan...
AMBROSE BIERCE Destiny. A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure.
AMBROSE BIERCE Edible. Good to eat and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pi...
AMBROSE BIERCE Knowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify.
AMBROSE BIERCE Erudition. Dust shaken out of a book into an empty skull.
AMBROSE BIERCE Saint. A dead sinner revised and edited.
AMBROSE BIERCE Insurrection. An unsuccessful revolution; disaffection's failure to substitute misrule for bad gover...
AMBROSE BIERCE Revolution is an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment.
AMBROSE BIERCE Impiety. Your irreverence toward my deity.
AMBROSE BIERCE Deliberation. The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on.
AMBROSE BIERCE Take not God's name in vain; select a time when it will have effect.
AMBROSE BIERCE A prejudice is a vagrant opinion without visible means of support.
AMBROSE BIERCE Bigot, one who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain.
AMBROSE BIERCE Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly un...
AMBROSE BIERCE Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration t...
AMBROSE BIERCE Admiration; is our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.
AMBROSE BIERCE To bother about the best method of accomplishing an accidental result.
AMBROSE BIERCE A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
AMBROSE BIERCE All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
AMBROSE BIERCE A lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves a glorious success.
AMBROSE BIERCE Peace, in international affairs, is a period of cheating between two periods of fighting.
AMBROSE BIERCE Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
AMBROSE BIERCE Optimism. The doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
AMBROSE BIERCE An optimist is a proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
AMBROSE BIERCE They say that hens do cackle loudest when there is nothing vital in the eggs they have laid.
AMBROSE BIERCE Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
AMBROSE BIERCE Heaven lies about us in our infancy and the world begins lying about us pretty soon afterward.
AMBROSE BIERCE As records of courts and justice are admissible, it can easily be proved that powerful and malevolen...
AMBROSE BIERCE Before undergoing a surgical operation, arrange your temporal affairs. You may live.
AMBROSE BIERCE Politeness -- The most acceptable hypocrisy.
AMBROSE BIERCE A man is known by the company he organizes.
AMBROSE BIERCE Logic, n. The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapaciti...
AMBROSE BIERCE Enthusiasm. A distemper of youth, curable by small doses of repentance in connection with outward ap...
AMBROSE BIERCE Egotist. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than me.
AMBROSE BIERCE An egotist is a person interested in himself than in me!
AMBROSE BIERCE Duty. That which sternly impels us in the direction of profit, along the line of desire.
AMBROSE BIERCE Opiate. An unlocked door in the prison of Identity. It leads into the jail yard.
AMBROSE BIERCE Insurance: An ingenious modern game of chance in which the player is permitted to enjoy the comforta...
AMBROSE BIERCE Backbite. To speak of a man as you find him when he can't find you.
AMBROSE BIERCE Alien. An American sovereign in his probationary state.
AMBROSE BIERCE Miss: A title with which we brand unmarried women to indicate that they are in the market. Miss, Mis...
AMBROSE BIERCE Witticism. A sharp and clever remark, usually quoted and seldom noted; what the Philistine is please...
AMBROSE BIERCE Wit. The salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out.
AMBROSE BIERCE A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man, who has no gills.
AMBROSE BIERCE Impartial. Unable to perceive any promise of personal advantage from espousing either side of a cont...
AMBROSE BIERCE Dog. A kind of additional or subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the worl...
AMBROSE BIERCE Physician -- One upon whom we set our hopes when ill and our dogs when well.
AMBROSE BIERCE Divorce. A resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.
AMBROSE BIERCE Consul. In American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is give...
AMBROSE BIERCE Forgetfulness. A gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscien...
AMBROSE BIERCE A cynic is a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, and not as they ought to be.
AMBROSE BIERCE Confidante. One entrusted by A with the secrets of B confided to herself by C.
AMBROSE BIERCE The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.
AMBROSE BIERCE Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is ...
AMBROSE BIERCE A funeral is a pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker.
AMBROSE BIERCE An accident is an inevitable occurrence due to the actions of immutable natural laws.
AMBROSE BIERCE To apologize is to lay the foundation for a future offense.
AMBROSE BIERCE An account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly k...
AMBROSE BIERCE Historian. A broad -- gauge gossip.
AMBROSE BIERCE Habit is a shackle for the free.
AMBROSE BIERCE Laughter -- An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarti...
AMBROSE BIERCE Litigant. A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones.
AMBROSE BIERCE Appeal. In law, to put the dice into the box for another throw.
AMBROSE BIERCE Trial. A formal inquiry designed to prove and put upon record the blameless characters of judges, ad...
AMBROSE BIERCE Experience is a revelation in the light of which we renounce our errors of youth for those of age.
AMBROSE BIERCE Experience. The wisdom that enables us to recognize in an undesirable old acquaintance the folly tha...
AMBROSE BIERCE The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
AMBROSE BIERCE PROPHECY, n. The art and practice of selling one's credibility for future delivery.
AMBROSE BIERCE When in Rome, do as Rome does.
AMBROSE BIERCE To be positive: to be mistaken at the top of one's voice.
AMBROSE BIERCE Censor, n. An officer of certain governments, employed to supress the works of genius. Among the Rom...
AMBROSE BIERCE Bore -- a person who talks when you wish him to listen.
AMBROSE BIERCE Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by frie...
AMBROSE BIERCE Irreligion. The principal one of the great faiths of the world.
AMBROSE BIERCE Faith: Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things withou...
AMBROSE BIERCE Architect. One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.
AMBROSE BIERCE Genealogy. An account of one's descent from an ancestor who did not particularly care to trace his o...
AMBROSE BIERCE Absurdity. A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.
AMBROSE BIERCE Abstainer. A weak man who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
AMBROSE BIERCE Woman absent is woman dead.
AMBROSE BIERCE The covers of this book are too far apart.
AMBROSE BIERCE Abscond. To move in a mysterious way, commonly with the property of another.
AMBROSE BIERCE Creditor. One of a tribe of savages dwelling beyond the Financial Straits and dreaded for their deso...
AMBROSE BIERCE A coward is one who in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs.
AMBROSE BIERCE Conservative. A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from a Liberal, who wi...
AMBROSE BIERCE The Senate is a body of old men charged with high duties and misdemeanors.
AMBROSE BIERCE Compromise. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction of ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Alliance. In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserte...
AMBROSE BIERCE ALLIANCE, n. In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply in...
AMBROSE BIERCE Acquaintance is a degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor and obscure, and intima...
AMBROSE BIERCE ARSENIC, n. A kind of cosmetic greatly affected by the ladies, whom it greatly affects in turn."Eat ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Compromise. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction o...
AMBROSE BIERCE Convent. A place of retirement for women who wish for leisure to meditate upon the sin of idleness.
AMBROSE BIERCE Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.
AMBROSE BIERCE International arbitration may be defined as the substitution of many burning questions for a smoulde...
AMBROSE BIERCE DIPLOMACY, n. Lying in state, or the patriotic art of lying for one's country.
AMBROSE BIERCE Calamities are of two kinds. Misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
AMBROSE BIERCE Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
AMBROSE BIERCE A bride is a woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
AMBROSE BIERCE Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic.
AMBROSE BIERCE There are 4 kinds of Homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy.
AMBROSE BIERCE FIDELITY, n. A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
AMBROSE BIERCE ZOOLOGY, n. The science and history of the animal kingdom, including its king, the House Fly ("Mus...
AMBROSE BIERCE HIPPOGRIFF, n. An animal (now extinct) which was half horse and half griffin. The griffin was a com...
AMBROSE BIERCE ZENITH, n. The point in the heavens directly overhead to a man standing or a growing cabbage. A m...
AMBROSE BIERCE YANKEE, n. In Europe, an American. In the Northern States of our Union, a New Englander. In the So...
AMBROSE BIERCE Hypocrisy: prejudice with a halo
AMBROSE BIERCE Forgetfulness. A gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscie...
AMBROSE BIERCE One who is in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs.
AMBROSE BIERCE OBSESSED, p.p. Vexed by an evil spirit, like the Gadarene swine and other critics. Obsession was onc...
AMBROSE BIERCE Optimism. The doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
AMBROSE BIERCE Women and foxes, being weak, are distinguished by superior tact.
AMBROSE BIERCE Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited.
AMBROSE BIERCE QUEEN, n. A woman by whom the realm is ruled when there is a king, and through whom it is ruled wh...
AMBROSE BIERCE When you are ill make haste to forgive your enemies, for you may recover.
AMBROSE BIERCE Electricity seems destined to play a most important part in the arts and industries. The question of...
AMBROSE BIERCE ECCENTRICITY, n. A method of distinction so cheap that fools employ it to accentuate their incapaci...
AMBROSE BIERCE LAND, n. A part of the earth's surface, considered as property. The theory that land is property s...
AMBROSE BIERCE The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.
AMBROSE BIERCE Birth: The first and direst of all disasters.
AMBROSE BIERCE Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.
AMBROSE BIERCE Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affai...
AMBROSE BIERCE Amnesty, n. The state's magnanimity to those offenders whom it would be too expensive to punish.
AMBROSE BIERCE Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.
AMBROSE BIERCE Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.
AMBROSE BIERCE Famous, adj.: Conspicuously miserable.
AMBROSE BIERCE Positive, adj.: Mistaken at the top of one's voice.
AMBROSE BIERCE Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
AMBROSE BIERCE Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth ke...
AMBROSE BIERCE Dog - a kind of additional or subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the wor...
AMBROSE BIERCE Acquaintance. A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.
AMBROSE BIERCE Perseverance - a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.
AMBROSE BIERCE Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Prescription: A physician's guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the...
AMBROSE BIERCE Lawsuit: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
AMBROSE BIERCE Compromise, n. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction ...
AMBROSE BIERCE The best thing to do with the best things in life is to give them up.
AMBROSE BIERCE TELEPHONE n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeab...
AMBROSE BIERCE Egotist, n. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me.
AMBROSE BIERCE Positive, adj.: Mistaken at the top of one's voice.
AMBROSE BIERCE Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.
AMBROSE BIERCE Sweater, n. Garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
AMBROSE BIERCE Sabbath - a weekly festival having its origin in the fact that God made the world in six days and wa...
AMBROSE BIERCE The small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify we give the name of knowledge.
AMBROSE BIERCE