Find something in life that you love doing. If you make a lot of money, that's a bonus, and if you don't, you still won't hate going to work.

Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother - you're not sure what you've got but you're pretty sure you're not going to like it.

Nothing in life prepares you to be famous.

When you get to your third millionth frequent flyer mile, I think something snaps in your brain.

The designated driver program, it's not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked into doing it, drop them off at the wrong house.

What I hated was doing what somebody in LA thought Jeff Foxworthy ought to do.