I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
Groucho Marx
Related
I do not care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX I was always a fan of Groucho Marx as a kid.
MICHAEL FELDMAN Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX I never want to belong to any club that would have someone like me as a member
SIGMUND FREUD I wouldn't want to belong to a club that would have me as a member
GROUCHO MARX I don't like people lying to me. I don't like people who don't return my calls. I don...
DAN AYKROYD As for minimalism, I don't care, don't care, don't care to repeat myself, repeat myself.
ITZHAK PERLMAN I like to exhilarate the audience like Groucho Marx exhilarated me when I was a kid. Also, I enjoy d...
FRANK FERRANTE Nowadays, I could not care less about making other people like me. I'm a good person, I don'...
BEVERLEY MITCHELL Throughout my life, there are four people I've met who were truly original people. The other thr...
ALICE COOPER I don't have people following me around, like bodyguards. I don't know how people live like ...
ANTHONY HOPKINS I don't really care if people think I'm good-looking or not; it doesn't define me as a p...
GENESIS RODRIGUEZ I don't ever view myself as a straight country act, and I don't think the straight country a...
CHRIS STAPLETON If people don't like me for whatever I do, for being me, then that's too bad. I don't wa...
VANESSA HUDGENS I sent the club a wire stating, PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THA...
GROUCHO MARX I don't feel as if I belong to an age group.
QUENTIN BLAKE Up there with my awards, I have a great big statue of Groucho Marx, just to put everything in perspe...
JOHN LITHGOW Terms like that, 'Humane Society,' are devised with people like me in mind, who don't ca...
BARBARA KINGSOLVER A lot of my friends are club people. It's not me. It's funny to represent that, because it...
RANDY HARRISON I don't care what straight people do, I don't care what gay people do. I don't care what...
ASAP ROCKY I don't care why they love me, as long as they love me. I think people respect me because they f...
DAVID HASSELHOFF I have a utilitarian approach to dressing; as long as I quite like it and it covers me up, I don'...
JO BRAND Please accept my resignation. I don't want to belong to any club
that will accept me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member
GROUCHO MARX I don't care if people I admire criticize me because their opinion is valuable to me.
KARL LAGERFELD I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX I don't really care what other people see me as. I seriously don't. I've always worried ...
KAJOL 'Made in Italy' is from the tycoons of the '80s, not me. It is people who represent an I...
LAPO ELKANN Texting is not flirting, if you don't care about me enough to say the words than that's not ...
LAUREN GRAHAM The only real laughter comes from despair.
GROUCHO MARX I’ll put off reading Lolita for six more years until she turns 18.
GROUCHO MARX I'm a gypsy: no education, no schooling, nothing. I don't care what people think of me. I do...
TYSON FURY I don't care what people think of me as a person, but I do care what people think of my work, an...
SAM WORTHINGTON I don't care what people are saying about me, good or bad, in blogs or on Twitter or in the medi...
J. A. KONRATH I care about the people I know and love the most, but I also care about what the people I don't ...
MARILYN MANSON I don't be remembering women that I've met before. I don't remember people as a whole. I...
WALE I don't like it when people don't hold the door. I don't know, that really bugs me... I ...
TAYLOR SCHILLING The real achievement of Woody Allen was that he was making movies that felt very personal, and for a...
NOAH BAUMBACH No, I don't belong to a retirement community.
SALLY KELLERMAN People always ask, 'Man, why don't you come out and enjoy it? Why don't you celebrate? W...
J. J. WATT I don't care what I look like; it's how people think of me. And I do care how people think o...
MILLIE BOBBY BROWN I'm not a pretty person. I don't like pretty, so I don't feel badly. Most of the world i...
IRIS APFEL I don't care whether people like me or dislike me. I'm not on earth to win a popularity cont...
TAB HUNTER The world would not be in such a snarl,/ had Marx been Groucho instead of Karl.
IRVING BERLIN The world would not be in such a snarl, had Marx been Groucho instead of Karl.
IRVING BERLIN I would say that my fatal flaw, as a human being, is that I need people to like me, and if they don&...
DAMON LINDELOF I don't want a life without my mom in it, but I'm not someone who curls up in the fetal posi...
KHLOE KARDASHIAN I don't care what you say about me anymore! I don't care what you write about me anymore. I ...
GERRY COONEY A lot of people don't like the road, but it's as natural to me as breathing.
BOB DYLAN I don't really care how I am remembered as long as I bring happiness and joy to people.
EDDIE ALBERT I don't care about my character here on earth. I don't care about what other people think or...
BRIGHAM YOUNG Tell me that you don't like cartoons, and I think there's something wrong with you. I don...
JOHN DIMAGGIO I won't say that women belong in the kitchen, but they don't belong in the dugout.
KEITH HERNANDEZ The hardest moment comes BEFORE you get started. #DontGiveUpNow
MANI S. SIVASUBRAMANIAN I don't care what a man is as long as he treats me right. He can be a gambler, a hustler, someon...
JOE NAMATH A lot of people like lollipops. I don't like lollipops. To me, a lollipop is hard candy plus gar...
DEMETRI MARTIN People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they...
GEORGE CARLIN I don't like to feel like I'm in a club when I'm in my car and I turn on the radio. Anyt...
TAYLOR SWIFT I'm looking forward to getting older. I look at people like Peter Gabriel and Sting and even Tom...
BRANDON FLOWERS I try to see the good in everybody, and I don't care who people are as long as they're thems...
DOLLY PARTON I don't like going to the gym because I don't like being with people I don't know in tha...
UTADA HIKARU I don't belong on this earth. I always feel out of place - like a visitor.
HATTIE MCDANIEL Having cancer gave me membership in an elite club I'd rather not belong to.
GILDA RADNER The global warming hysterics don't just offer opinions and beliefs about greenhouse gases and th...
MIKE GALLAGHER I don't think I care about the hair as much as people think I do. It's just kind of there. I...
JACOB DEGROM Really, I don't care if people think I'm too skinny. This is my body. If they don't like...
ELLEN POMPEO I don't like Drake as a person. He's just fake to me.
TYGA Why should Bollywood accept me? I should accept Bollywood. I don't care if Bollywood has accepte...
KANGANA RANAUT I don't really care that much about eating. But I like impressing people with how good a cook I ...
PATRICIA MARX It's like people call me a rock star or this or that. And I go, 'Don't call me that. I d...
MEAT LOAF I don't read the magazines that make things up about people. I know what the truth is. I don'...
ASHTON KUTCHER I don't care if people think I'm gay. I know I'm not, so it doesn't bother me.
ADAM GARCIA Some people are really proud of me, and some don't like it. I don't really know what to tell...
BRYSON TILLER I'm not in the business of meddling with people's destinies - and yes, my characters are rea...
JONATHAN EVISON I don't like people around me sad. I like making people happy.
TYLER, THE CREATOR I also care that the public are getting their 12 dollars worth when they go to a movie, and that the...
SAM WORTHINGTON I just dress how I wanna dress. Not to say that I don't care about how I dress or that I'm a...
ALESSIA CARA I really don't care if people know who I am or what's said about me.
HALEY JOEL OSMENT I don't care about what people might call my style. It's just like when people call my music...
MAC DEMARCO I don't come and fight for fun. I don't do that. I don't like to hurt people for fun.
NATE DIAZ I am not a fake. I am natural. I am just being Caster. I don't want to be someone I don't wa...
CASTER SEMENYA I would love to have the same rights as everybody else. I would love, I don't care if it's c...
ELLEN DEGENERES One of the reasons I chose to come to Liverpool was because of the mentality of the club. It's a...
FERNANDO TORRES I believe in taxation and health care that is outside the usual libertarian mandate, because I don...
NEIL PEART I don't want to tell people how to remember me. I want people to remember me as they remember me...
JOHN TRUDELL I love high heels from the age of 10! Short skirts and then high heels. My classmates used to make f...
IRINA SHAYK You can't please everybody. I give up. I'm not trying to. I don't care. Leave me alone w...
ESTELLE People who don't take care of their drums really annoy me.
JOHN BONHAM I don't really care about audio quality. If people saw some of the ways that I record stuff, the...
DEV HYNES I don't care to join and club that's prepared to have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX I feel like I don't really care about impressing other people. I thoroughly enjoy impressing mys...
KEHLANI If you don't believe you don't belong.
ALAN KULWICKI I really don't care what people think of me. I've got my family. I've got my friends. Ye...
CHRIS KYLE All I care is that my family, and my loved ones, understand me. Or that they understand me to a degr...
ANDREA CORR It would be a lie to say that I don't care what people say about me. Every human being cares unl...
ROGER AILES I don't care about the money. I just need, as an actor, to do as many different things that I ca...
DAVID MORSE I don't think because I hang out with enough black people, I'm gonna turn black. What kind o...
KHLOE KARDASHIAN I don't care what people think. people are stupid.
CHARLES BARKLEY
More Groucho Marx
I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.
GROUCHO MARX The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
GROUCHO MARX Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
GROUCHO MARX I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west ...
GROUCHO MARX I intend to live forever, or die trying.
GROUCHO MARX I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?
GROUCHO MARX Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men--the other 999 follow women.
GROUCHO MARX Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.
GROUCHO MARX One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife.
GROUCHO MARX Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
GROUCHO MARX No man goes before his time -- unless the boss leaves early.
GROUCHO MARX Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.
GROUCHO MARX The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can't fool around. If you write about som...
GROUCHO MARX Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.
GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day...
GROUCHO MARX The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open
GROUCHO MARX Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman. Then if you can get the dog to go...
GROUCHO MARX I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and...
GROUCHO MARX I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yes...
GROUCHO MARX I am so broke, I can't even afford to fill up my bicycle.
GROUCHO MARX How does the healthy dog bark? Ruff Ruff.
How does the cold dog bark ? Scarf Scarf.
How...
GROUCHO MARX I think it is good that books still exist, but they do make me sleepy.
GROUCHO MARX I have a new philosophy. I'm only going to dread one day at a time.
GROUCHO MARX Insurance is like marriage. You pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back.
GROUCHO MARX Friends are chocolate chips in the cookie of life!
GROUCHO MARX What did the dog say after walking in the desert for hours? If I don't find a tree soon I'm gonna p...
GROUCHO MARX I'm a Nillionaire. I have little to no money!
GROUCHO MARX One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.
GROUCHO MARX If aliens saw us walking our dogs and picking up their poop, who would they think is in charge?
GROUCHO MARX A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
GROUCHO MARX I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell...
GROUCHO MARX Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
GROUCHO MARX Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
GROUCHO MARX I worked myself up from nothing to extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX Look at me. I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.
GROUCHO MARX Although it is generally known, I think it's about time to announce that I was born at a very early ...
GROUCHO MARX I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX There is one way to find out if a man is honest; ask him! If he says yes you know he's crooked.
GROUCHO MARX There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of ones fellow man.
GROUCHO MARX I eat like a vulture. Unfortunately the resemblance doesn't end there.
GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
GROUCHO MARX I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. The recipes were to be the routine ones: how to make d...
GROUCHO MARX A clown is like aspirin, only he works twice as fast.
GROUCHO MARX I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.
GROUCHO MARX My mother loved children--she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX Whoever named it necking is a poor judge of anatomy.
GROUCHO MARX No man goes before his time / unless the boss leaves early.
GROUCHO MARX The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made. Life is a ...
GROUCHO MARX Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it, and then misapplying the w...
GROUCHO MARX No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
GROUCHO MARX While money can't buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
GROUCHO MARX I find television very educational. Every time someone switches it on I go into another room and rea...
GROUCHO MARX If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.
GROUCHO MARX The first thing which I can record concerning myself is, that I was born. These are wonderful words....
GROUCHO MARX Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
GROUCHO MARX Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
GROUCHO MARX Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
GROUCHO MARX Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
GROUCHO MARX In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom.
GROUCHO MARX I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
GROUCHO MARX I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.
GROUCHO MARX She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course.
GROUCHO MARX A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
GROUCHO MARX Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
GROUCHO MARX All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats.
GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I...
GROUCHO MARX I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX Before I speak, I have something important to say.
GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.
GROUCHO MARX Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
GROUCHO MARX Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
GROUCHO MARX A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
GROUCHO MARX I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.
GROUCHO MARX I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.
GROUCHO MARX Humor is reason gone mad.
GROUCHO MARX One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.
GROUCHO MARX Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
GROUCHO MARX I wish to be cremated. One tenth of my ashes shall be given to my agent, as written in our contract.
GROUCHO MARX I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX I've got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.
GROUCHO MARX I have nothing but respect for you -- and not much of that.
GROUCHO MARX He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
GROUCHO MARX I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
GROUCHO MARX I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yes...
GROUCHO MARX Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and app...
GROUCHO MARX I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to be rid of it.
GROUCHO MARX Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.
GROUCHO MARX Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
GROUCHO MARX Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
GROUCHO MARX All geniuses die young.
GROUCHO MARX There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, 'Yes,' you know he...
GROUCHO MARX I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every...
GROUCHO MARX We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her sta...
GROUCHO MARX I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a ...
GROUCHO MARX She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
GROUCHO MARX I do not care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
GROUCHO MARX No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
GROUCHO MARX My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of one's fellow man.
GROUCHO MARX She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the live of the party.
GROUCHO MARX I'd horsewhip you if I had a horse.
GROUCHO MARX In America you can go on the air and kid the politicians, and the politicians can go on the air and ...
GROUCHO MARX Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book -and does
GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I...
GROUCHO MARX Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
GROUCHO MARX Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
GROUCHO MARX There's one way to find out if a man is honest-ask him. If he says, "Yes," you know he is a crook.
GROUCHO MARX She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is han...
GROUCHO MARX Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
GROUCHO MARX It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.
GROUCHO MARX I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX I sent the club a wire stating, PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THA...
GROUCHO MARX I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX I could dance with you until the cows come home. On second thought I'd rather dance with the cows ...
GROUCHO MARX Go, and never darken my towels again.
GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day ...
GROUCHO MARX Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long e...
GROUCHO MARX My mother loved children -- she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
GROUCHO MARX We dont like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out. Well, art is art, isnt it? Still, on t...
GROUCHO MARX I don't have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They're upstairs in my socks.
GROUCHO MARX Women should be obscene and not heard.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't want to belong to any club
that will accept me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough
GROUCHO MARX I was going to thrash them within an inch of their lives, but I didn't have a tape measure
GROUCHO MARX The secret of success is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake those, you’ve got it made.”
GROUCHO MARX Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?
GROUCHO MARX My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you ...
GROUCHO MARX My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually te...
GROUCHO MARX Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
GROUCHO MARX If income tax is the price you have to pay to keep the government on its feet, alimony is the price ...
GROUCHO MARX Don’t ever underestimate the importance of money. I know it’s often been said that money won’t...
GROUCHO MARX I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library ...
GROUCHO MARX You've got the brain of a four-year-old boy, and I bet he was glad to get rid of it
GROUCHO MARX Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX [When Judy Garland lost the 1954 best actress Oscar to Grace Kelly in] The Country Girl, ... Dear Ju...
GROUCHO MARX I was so long writing my review that I never got around to reading the book.
GROUCHO MARX Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does
GROUCHO MARX Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana
GROUCHO MARX Money will not make you happy, and happy will not make you money
GROUCHO MARX Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men, the other 999 follow women
GROUCHO MARX A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
GROUCHO MARX Here's to our wives and girlfriends...may they never meet!
GROUCHO MARX Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have...
GROUCHO MARX If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
GROUCHO MARX Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, and I'm going to be happy in it...
GROUCHO MARX I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.
GROUCHO MARX If you're not having fun, you're doing something wrong.
GROUCHO MARX One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I'll never know.
GROUCHO MARX Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.
GROUCHO MARX Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I...
GROUCHO MARX It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member
GROUCHO MARX I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. . . . I think a lot of people who hate literature but ...
GROUCHO MARX Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.
GROUCHO MARX I'm giving you 30 days to live.
GROUCHO MARX She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the life of the party
GROUCHO MARX Believe me, you have to get up early if you want to get out of bed
GROUCHO MARX A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
GROUCHO MARX And I want to thank you for all the enjoyment you've taken out of it.
GROUCHO MARX Remember, we're fighting for this woman's honor, which is probably far more than she's ever done!
GROUCHO MARX Hey, when I said work fast, I didn't mean your friend, I meant the maid.
GROUCHO MARX Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?
GROUCHO MARX I have nothing but confidence in you, and very little of that
GROUCHO MARX A man's only as old as the woman he feels.
GROUCHO MARX Blood's not thicker than money
GROUCHO MARX I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.
GROUCHO MARX Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!
GROUCHO MARX The only real laughter comes from despair.
GROUCHO MARX Q: What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic?
A: Someone who stay...
GROUCHO MARX Either this man is dead
or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a man's best friend is a book. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child. I...
GROUCHO MARX I cannot say that I do not disagree with you
GROUCHO MARX I would never belong to a group that would accept someone like me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX Years ago, I tried to top everybody, but I don't anymore, I realized it was killing conversation. Wh...
GROUCHO MARX Remember men, we're fighting for this woman's honor; which is probably more than she ever did.
GROUCHO MARX I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member
GROUCHO MARX Did I ever tell you how I shot a wild elephant in my pyjamas? How he got into my pyjamas I'll never ...
GROUCHO MARX