I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.


Groucho Marx

  Email Quote to Friends   Link to Quote   Create Short URL  Publish Text About This Quote   Share on Facebook, Twitter, and more
  See Recommended Quotes For You

Related

I do not care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
GROUCHO MARX
Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX
I was always a fan of Groucho Marx as a kid.
MICHAEL FELDMAN
Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX
Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX
I never want to belong to any club that would have someone like me as a member
SIGMUND FREUD
I wouldn't want to belong to a club that would have me as a member
GROUCHO MARX
I don't like people lying to me. I don't like people who don't return my calls. I don...
DAN AYKROYD
As for minimalism, I don't care, don't care, don't care to repeat myself, repeat myself.
ITZHAK PERLMAN
I like to exhilarate the audience like Groucho Marx exhilarated me when I was a kid. Also, I enjoy d...
FRANK FERRANTE
Nowadays, I could not care less about making other people like me. I'm a good person, I don'...
BEVERLEY MITCHELL
Throughout my life, there are four people I've met who were truly original people. The other thr...
ALICE COOPER
I don't have people following me around, like bodyguards. I don't know how people live like ...
ANTHONY HOPKINS
I don't really care if people think I'm good-looking or not; it doesn't define me as a p...
GENESIS RODRIGUEZ
I don't ever view myself as a straight country act, and I don't think the straight country a...
CHRIS STAPLETON
If people don't like me for whatever I do, for being me, then that's too bad. I don't wa...
VANESSA HUDGENS
I sent the club a wire stating, PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THA...
GROUCHO MARX
I don't feel as if I belong to an age group.
QUENTIN BLAKE
Up there with my awards, I have a great big statue of Groucho Marx, just to put everything in perspe...
JOHN LITHGOW
Terms like that, 'Humane Society,' are devised with people like me in mind, who don't ca...
BARBARA KINGSOLVER
A lot of my friends are club people. It's not me. It's funny to represent that, because it&#...
RANDY HARRISON
I don't care what straight people do, I don't care what gay people do. I don't care what...
ASAP ROCKY
I don't care why they love me, as long as they love me. I think people respect me because they f...
DAVID HASSELHOFF
I have a utilitarian approach to dressing; as long as I quite like it and it covers me up, I don'...
JO BRAND
Please accept my resignation. I don't want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX
Please accept my resignation. I don't want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member
GROUCHO MARX
I don't care if people I admire criticize me because their opinion is valuable to me.
KARL LAGERFELD
I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX
I don't really care what other people see me as. I seriously don't. I've always worried ...
KAJOL
'Made in Italy' is from the tycoons of the '80s, not me. It is people who represent an I...
LAPO ELKANN
Texting is not flirting, if you don't care about me enough to say the words than that's not ...
LAUREN GRAHAM
The only real laughter comes from despair.
GROUCHO MARX
I’ll put off reading Lolita for six more years until she turns 18.
GROUCHO MARX
I'm a gypsy: no education, no schooling, nothing. I don't care what people think of me. I do...
TYSON FURY
I don't care what people think of me as a person, but I do care what people think of my work, an...
SAM WORTHINGTON
I don't care what people are saying about me, good or bad, in blogs or on Twitter or in the medi...
J. A. KONRATH
I care about the people I know and love the most, but I also care about what the people I don't ...
MARILYN MANSON
I don't be remembering women that I've met before. I don't remember people as a whole. I...
WALE
I don't like it when people don't hold the door. I don't know, that really bugs me... I ...
TAYLOR SCHILLING
The real achievement of Woody Allen was that he was making movies that felt very personal, and for a...
NOAH BAUMBACH
No, I don't belong to a retirement community.
SALLY KELLERMAN
People always ask, 'Man, why don't you come out and enjoy it? Why don't you celebrate? W...
J. J. WATT
I don't care what I look like; it's how people think of me. And I do care how people think o...
MILLIE BOBBY BROWN
I'm not a pretty person. I don't like pretty, so I don't feel badly. Most of the world i...
IRIS APFEL
I don't care whether people like me or dislike me. I'm not on earth to win a popularity cont...
TAB HUNTER
The world would not be in such a snarl,/ had Marx been Groucho instead of Karl.
IRVING BERLIN
The world would not be in such a snarl, had Marx been Groucho instead of Karl.
IRVING BERLIN
I would say that my fatal flaw, as a human being, is that I need people to like me, and if they don&...
DAMON LINDELOF
I don't want a life without my mom in it, but I'm not someone who curls up in the fetal posi...
KHLOE KARDASHIAN
I don't care what you say about me anymore! I don't care what you write about me anymore. I ...
GERRY COONEY
A lot of people don't like the road, but it's as natural to me as breathing.
BOB DYLAN
I don't really care how I am remembered as long as I bring happiness and joy to people.
EDDIE ALBERT
I don't care about my character here on earth. I don't care about what other people think or...
BRIGHAM YOUNG
Tell me that you don't like cartoons, and I think there's something wrong with you. I don...
JOHN DIMAGGIO
I won't say that women belong in the kitchen, but they don't belong in the dugout.
KEITH HERNANDEZ
The hardest moment comes BEFORE you get started. #DontGiveUpNow
MANI S. SIVASUBRAMANIAN
I don't care what a man is as long as he treats me right. He can be a gambler, a hustler, someon...
JOE NAMATH
A lot of people like lollipops. I don't like lollipops. To me, a lollipop is hard candy plus gar...
DEMETRI MARTIN
People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they...
GEORGE CARLIN
I don't like to feel like I'm in a club when I'm in my car and I turn on the radio. Anyt...
TAYLOR SWIFT
I'm looking forward to getting older. I look at people like Peter Gabriel and Sting and even Tom...
BRANDON FLOWERS
I try to see the good in everybody, and I don't care who people are as long as they're thems...
DOLLY PARTON
I don't like going to the gym because I don't like being with people I don't know in tha...
UTADA HIKARU
I don't belong on this earth. I always feel out of place - like a visitor.
HATTIE MCDANIEL
Having cancer gave me membership in an elite club I'd rather not belong to.
GILDA RADNER
The global warming hysterics don't just offer opinions and beliefs about greenhouse gases and th...
MIKE GALLAGHER
I don't think I care about the hair as much as people think I do. It's just kind of there. I...
JACOB DEGROM
Really, I don't care if people think I'm too skinny. This is my body. If they don't like...
ELLEN POMPEO
I don't like Drake as a person. He's just fake to me.
TYGA
Why should Bollywood accept me? I should accept Bollywood. I don't care if Bollywood has accepte...
KANGANA RANAUT
I don't really care that much about eating. But I like impressing people with how good a cook I ...
PATRICIA MARX
It's like people call me a rock star or this or that. And I go, 'Don't call me that. I d...
MEAT LOAF
I don't read the magazines that make things up about people. I know what the truth is. I don'...
ASHTON KUTCHER
I don't care if people think I'm gay. I know I'm not, so it doesn't bother me.
ADAM GARCIA
Some people are really proud of me, and some don't like it. I don't really know what to tell...
BRYSON TILLER
I'm not in the business of meddling with people's destinies - and yes, my characters are rea...
JONATHAN EVISON
I don't like people around me sad. I like making people happy.
TYLER, THE CREATOR
I also care that the public are getting their 12 dollars worth when they go to a movie, and that the...
SAM WORTHINGTON
I just dress how I wanna dress. Not to say that I don't care about how I dress or that I'm a...
ALESSIA CARA
I really don't care if people know who I am or what's said about me.
HALEY JOEL OSMENT
I don't care about what people might call my style. It's just like when people call my music...
MAC DEMARCO
I don't come and fight for fun. I don't do that. I don't like to hurt people for fun.
NATE DIAZ
I am not a fake. I am natural. I am just being Caster. I don't want to be someone I don't wa...
CASTER SEMENYA
I would love to have the same rights as everybody else. I would love, I don't care if it's c...
ELLEN DEGENERES
One of the reasons I chose to come to Liverpool was because of the mentality of the club. It's a...
FERNANDO TORRES
I believe in taxation and health care that is outside the usual libertarian mandate, because I don&#...
NEIL PEART
I don't want to tell people how to remember me. I want people to remember me as they remember me...
JOHN TRUDELL
I love high heels from the age of 10! Short skirts and then high heels. My classmates used to make f...
IRINA SHAYK
You can't please everybody. I give up. I'm not trying to. I don't care. Leave me alone w...
ESTELLE
People who don't take care of their drums really annoy me.
JOHN BONHAM
I don't really care about audio quality. If people saw some of the ways that I record stuff, the...
DEV HYNES
I don't care to join and club that's prepared to have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX
I feel like I don't really care about impressing other people. I thoroughly enjoy impressing mys...
KEHLANI
If you don't believe you don't belong.
ALAN KULWICKI
I really don't care what people think of me. I've got my family. I've got my friends. Ye...
CHRIS KYLE
All I care is that my family, and my loved ones, understand me. Or that they understand me to a degr...
ANDREA CORR
It would be a lie to say that I don't care what people say about me. Every human being cares unl...
ROGER AILES
I don't care about the money. I just need, as an actor, to do as many different things that I ca...
DAVID MORSE
I don't think because I hang out with enough black people, I'm gonna turn black. What kind o...
KHLOE KARDASHIAN
I don't care what people think. people are stupid.
CHARLES BARKLEY

More Groucho Marx

I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.
GROUCHO MARX
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
GROUCHO MARX
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
GROUCHO MARX
I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX
Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west ...
GROUCHO MARX
I intend to live forever, or die trying.
GROUCHO MARX
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX
Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX
I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX
Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?
GROUCHO MARX
Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men--the other 999 follow women.
GROUCHO MARX
Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.
GROUCHO MARX
One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife.
GROUCHO MARX
Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
GROUCHO MARX
No man goes before his time -- unless the boss leaves early.
GROUCHO MARX
Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.
GROUCHO MARX
The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can't fool around. If you write about som...
GROUCHO MARX
Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.
GROUCHO MARX
From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day...
GROUCHO MARX
The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open
GROUCHO MARX
Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman. Then if you can get the dog to go...
GROUCHO MARX
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and...
GROUCHO MARX
I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yes...
GROUCHO MARX
I am so broke, I can't even afford to fill up my bicycle.
GROUCHO MARX
How does the healthy dog bark? Ruff Ruff.
How does the cold dog bark ? Scarf Scarf.
How...
GROUCHO MARX
I think it is good that books still exist, but they do make me sleepy.
GROUCHO MARX
I have a new philosophy. I'm only going to dread one day at a time.
GROUCHO MARX
Insurance is like marriage. You pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back.
GROUCHO MARX
Friends are chocolate chips in the cookie of life!
GROUCHO MARX
What did the dog say after walking in the desert for hours? If I don't find a tree soon I'm gonna p...
GROUCHO MARX
I'm a Nillionaire. I have little to no money!
GROUCHO MARX
One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.
GROUCHO MARX
If aliens saw us walking our dogs and picking up their poop, who would they think is in charge?
GROUCHO MARX
A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
GROUCHO MARX
I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX
When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell...
GROUCHO MARX
Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
GROUCHO MARX
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
GROUCHO MARX
I worked myself up from nothing to extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX
Look at me. I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX
Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX
If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.
GROUCHO MARX
Although it is generally known, I think it's about time to announce that I was born at a very early ...
GROUCHO MARX
I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX
There is one way to find out if a man is honest; ask him! If he says yes you know he's crooked.
GROUCHO MARX
There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of ones fellow man.
GROUCHO MARX
I eat like a vulture. Unfortunately the resemblance doesn't end there.
GROUCHO MARX
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX
Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
GROUCHO MARX
I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. The recipes were to be the routine ones: how to make d...
GROUCHO MARX
A clown is like aspirin, only he works twice as fast.
GROUCHO MARX
I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.
GROUCHO MARX
My mother loved children--she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX
Whoever named it necking is a poor judge of anatomy.
GROUCHO MARX
No man goes before his time / unless the boss leaves early.
GROUCHO MARX
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made. Life is a ...
GROUCHO MARX
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it, and then misapplying the w...
GROUCHO MARX
No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
GROUCHO MARX
While money can't buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
GROUCHO MARX
I find television very educational. Every time someone switches it on I go into another room and rea...
GROUCHO MARX
If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.
GROUCHO MARX
The first thing which I can record concerning myself is, that I was born. These are wonderful words....
GROUCHO MARX
Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
GROUCHO MARX
Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
GROUCHO MARX
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
GROUCHO MARX
Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
GROUCHO MARX
In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom.
GROUCHO MARX
I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
GROUCHO MARX
I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.
GROUCHO MARX
She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX
I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course.
GROUCHO MARX
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
GROUCHO MARX
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
GROUCHO MARX
All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats.
GROUCHO MARX
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I...
GROUCHO MARX
I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX
Before I speak, I have something important to say.
GROUCHO MARX
Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX
I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.
GROUCHO MARX
Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
GROUCHO MARX
Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
GROUCHO MARX
A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
GROUCHO MARX
I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX
Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX
No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.
GROUCHO MARX
I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.
GROUCHO MARX
Humor is reason gone mad.
GROUCHO MARX
One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.
GROUCHO MARX
Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
GROUCHO MARX
I wish to be cremated. One tenth of my ashes shall be given to my agent, as written in our contract.
GROUCHO MARX
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX
I've got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.
GROUCHO MARX
I have nothing but respect for you -- and not much of that.
GROUCHO MARX
He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
GROUCHO MARX
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
GROUCHO MARX
I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yes...
GROUCHO MARX
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and app...
GROUCHO MARX
I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to be rid of it.
GROUCHO MARX
Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.
GROUCHO MARX
Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
GROUCHO MARX
Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX
I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
GROUCHO MARX
Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
GROUCHO MARX
All geniuses die young.
GROUCHO MARX
There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, 'Yes,' you know he...
GROUCHO MARX
I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every...
GROUCHO MARX
We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her sta...
GROUCHO MARX
I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a ...
GROUCHO MARX
She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX
The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
GROUCHO MARX
I do not care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
GROUCHO MARX
No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
GROUCHO MARX
My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX
There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of one's fellow man.
GROUCHO MARX
She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the live of the party.
GROUCHO MARX
I'd horsewhip you if I had a horse.
GROUCHO MARX
In America you can go on the air and kid the politicians, and the politicians can go on the air and ...
GROUCHO MARX
Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book -and does
GROUCHO MARX
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I...
GROUCHO MARX
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
GROUCHO MARX
Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
GROUCHO MARX
There's one way to find out if a man is honest-ask him. If he says, "Yes," you know he is a crook.
GROUCHO MARX
She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX
Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is han...
GROUCHO MARX
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
GROUCHO MARX
It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.
GROUCHO MARX
I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX
I sent the club a wire stating, PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THA...
GROUCHO MARX
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX
I could dance with you until the cows come home. On second thought I'd rather dance with the cows ...
GROUCHO MARX
Go, and never darken my towels again.
GROUCHO MARX
From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day ...
GROUCHO MARX
Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX
Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long e...
GROUCHO MARX
My mother loved children -- she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX
A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
GROUCHO MARX
We dont like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out. Well, art is art, isnt it? Still, on t...
GROUCHO MARX
I don't have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They're upstairs in my socks.
GROUCHO MARX
Women should be obscene and not heard.
GROUCHO MARX
Please accept my resignation. I don't want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX
Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough
GROUCHO MARX
I was going to thrash them within an inch of their lives, but I didn't have a tape measure
GROUCHO MARX
The secret of success is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake those, you’ve got it made.”
GROUCHO MARX
Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?
GROUCHO MARX
My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you ...
GROUCHO MARX
My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually te...
GROUCHO MARX
Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
GROUCHO MARX
If income tax is the price you have to pay to keep the government on its feet, alimony is the price ...
GROUCHO MARX
Don’t ever underestimate the importance of money. I know it’s often been said that money won’t...
GROUCHO MARX
I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library ...
GROUCHO MARX
You've got the brain of a four-year-old boy, and I bet he was glad to get rid of it
GROUCHO MARX
Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
GROUCHO MARX
Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX
[When Judy Garland lost the 1954 best actress Oscar to Grace Kelly in] The Country Girl, ... Dear Ju...
GROUCHO MARX
I was so long writing my review that I never got around to reading the book.
GROUCHO MARX
Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does
GROUCHO MARX
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana
GROUCHO MARX
Money will not make you happy, and happy will not make you money
GROUCHO MARX
Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men, the other 999 follow women
GROUCHO MARX
A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
GROUCHO MARX
Here's to our wives and girlfriends...may they never meet!
GROUCHO MARX
Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have...
GROUCHO MARX
If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
GROUCHO MARX
Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, and I'm going to be happy in it...
GROUCHO MARX
I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.
GROUCHO MARX
If you're not having fun, you're doing something wrong.
GROUCHO MARX
One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I'll never know.
GROUCHO MARX
Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.
GROUCHO MARX
Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
GROUCHO MARX
From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I...
GROUCHO MARX
It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.
GROUCHO MARX
Please accept my resignation. I don't want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member
GROUCHO MARX
I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. . . . I think a lot of people who hate literature but ...
GROUCHO MARX
Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.
GROUCHO MARX
I'm giving you 30 days to live.
GROUCHO MARX
She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the life of the party
GROUCHO MARX
Believe me, you have to get up early if you want to get out of bed
GROUCHO MARX
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
GROUCHO MARX
And I want to thank you for all the enjoyment you've taken out of it.
GROUCHO MARX
Remember, we're fighting for this woman's honor, which is probably far more than she's ever done!
GROUCHO MARX
Hey, when I said work fast, I didn't mean your friend, I meant the maid.
GROUCHO MARX
Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?
GROUCHO MARX
I have nothing but confidence in you, and very little of that
GROUCHO MARX
A man's only as old as the woman he feels.
GROUCHO MARX
Blood's not thicker than money
GROUCHO MARX
I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.
GROUCHO MARX
Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!
GROUCHO MARX
The only real laughter comes from despair.
GROUCHO MARX
Q: What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic?
A: Someone who stay...
GROUCHO MARX
Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX
Outside of a dog, a man's best friend is a book. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX
Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child. I...
GROUCHO MARX
I cannot say that I do not disagree with you
GROUCHO MARX
I would never belong to a group that would accept someone like me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX
Years ago, I tried to top everybody, but I don't anymore, I realized it was killing conversation. Wh...
GROUCHO MARX
Remember men, we're fighting for this woman's honor; which is probably more than she ever did.
GROUCHO MARX
I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member
GROUCHO MARX
Did I ever tell you how I shot a wild elephant in my pyjamas? How he got into my pyjamas I'll never ...
GROUCHO MARX