I don't excercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor.

I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.

If God had wanted me otherwise, He would have created me otherwise.

I made so many jokes about poor Russell Crowe, he once knocked on my dressing room door, and told me he wanted to go out on this chat show we were on to laugh with me. Now he's ruined it. I can't make another joke about him.

God always comes up with a third act twist -- and we won't know until we die whether the play was a comedy or a tragedy.

I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.