I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.

I don't make jokes. I just watch government and report the facts.

I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.

And the thing about my jokes is, they don't hurt anybody. You can take 'em or leave 'em - you can say they're funny or they're terrible or they're good, or whatever, but you can just pass 'em by. But with Congress, every time they make a joke, it's a law! And every time they make a law, it's a joke!

Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate, now what's going to happen to us with both a House and a Senate?

There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you