FastSaying

I have a file of four million jokes... I have them cross-indexed. Whatever subject you want, I have a joke on it.

Milton Berle

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Like every comedian, if I heard a joke that I thought would work, I used it.
— Milton Berle
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The company accountant is shy and retiring. He's shy a quarter of a million dollars. That's why he's retiring.
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Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.
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You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think.
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It's amazing how fast later comes when you buy now.
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