I keep getting these people at my shows who only know me from television. I can always tell when they're, like, emotionally flinching when I start doing my jokes.

I like writing a joke, and I like when a joke works, and I like other comics who tell jokes.

I like doing stand-up and I love putting out TV specials.

For a long time the people at my shows were sort of the Pantera-tattoo trucker guys, really cool dudes, but I don't know what happened to them. That's the crowd that I like, the ones that don't get so offended just to be offended.

What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin.

I feel like soundtrack music is almost like seeing the movie again, but with my ears.