What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin.

I keep getting these people at my shows who only know me from television. I can always tell when they're, like, emotionally flinching when I start doing my jokes.

Something baked. Chicken or fish or pork. I have to take care of myself, eat like a guy in my 40s -- I just happen to be in football. My wife doesn't fry a lot of food. I love fresh tomatoes, broccoli, corn. My two-year-old loves corn, and I agree. I probably should take vitamins but I don't. I get my vitamins the old-fashioned way -- from fruits and vegetables.

I like writing a joke, and I like when a joke works, and I like other comics who tell jokes.

For a long time the people at my shows were sort of the Pantera-tattoo trucker guys, really cool dudes, but I don't know what happened to them. That's the crowd that I like, the ones that don't get so offended just to be offended.

Is this chicken, what I have, or is this fish? I know it's tuna, but it says 'Chicken of the Sea.'