FastSaying

I know I was writing stories when I was five. I don’t remember what I did before that. Just loafed, I suppose.


P.G. Wodehouse

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I know I was writing stories when I was five. I don't know what I did before that. Just loafed I...
P. G. WODEHOUSE I read my first P.G. Wodehouse when I was 12.
MALLORY ORTBERG You cant live champagne life,if you cant buy beer.
I DONT KNOW Sometimes we want something so much that God will have us give it up so we can grow
(I CANNOT REMEMBER) Woman is always fickle - foolish is he who trusts her.
FRANCIS I Long ailments wear out pain, and long hopes, joy.
STANISLAUS I Youth is the first victim of war; the first fruit of peace. It takes 20 years or more of peace to ma...
BAUDOUIN I Courage is like love; it must have hope for nourishment.
NAPOLEON I When a girl ceases to blush, she has lost the most powerful charm of her beauty.
GREGORY I One should act in consonance with the way of heaven and earth, which is enduring and eternal. The su...
I CHING The quiet and solitary man apprehends the inscrutable. He seeks nothing, holds to the mean, and rema...
I CHING Great effort is required to arrest decay and restore vigor. One must exercise proper deliberation, p...
I CHING Before a thunderstorm there is a build-up of tension which is only relieved by the explosive force o...
I CHING Creativity comes from awakening and directing men's higher natures, which originate in the primal de...
I CHING The way of the creative works through change and transformation, so that each thing receives its tru...
I CHING Change is certain. Peace is followed by disturbances; departure of evil men by their return. Such re...
I CHING The responses of human beings vary greatly under dangerous circumstances. The strong man advances bo...
I CHING A person in danger should not try to escape at one stroke. He should first calmly hold his own, then...
I CHING He who possesses the source of enthusiasm will achieve great things. Doubt not. You will gather frie...
I CHING Although I may not be a lioness, I am a lion's cub, and inherit many of his qualities; and as long a...
ELIZABETH I Fiat justitia et pereat mundus.
Let justice be done, though the world perish.
FERDINAND I Though God hath raised me high, yet this I count the glory of my crown: that I have reigned with you...
ELIZABETH I I am your anointed Queen. I will never be by violence constrained to do anything. I thank God I am e...
ELIZABETH I Never make a defense or apology before you are accused.
CHARLES I It takes twenty years or more of peace to make a man; it takes only twenty seconds of war to destroy...
BAUDOUIN I Must! Is must a word to be addressed to princes? Little man, little man! thy father, if he had been ...
ELIZABETH I Everything proceeds as if of its own accord, and this can all too easily tempt us to relax and let t...
I CHING In a few years there will be only five kings in the world -- the King of England and the four kings ...
FAROUK I Never make a defence or apology before you be accused.
CHARLES I The daughter of debate That still discord doth sow.
ELIZABETH I 'Twas God the word that spake it, He took the bread and brake it, And what the word did make i...
ELIZABETH I If I follow the inclination of my nature, it is this: beggar-woman and single, far rather than queen...
ELIZABETH I When a girl ceases to blush, she has lost the most powerful charm of her beauty
GREGORY I The moment you have in your heart this extraordinary thing called love and feel the depth, the delig...
I. KRISHNAMURTI People are not an interruption of our business. People are our business.
A man's worst difficulties begin when he is able to do as he likes.
It is hard to look up to a leader who keeps his ear to the ground.
The most wasted day of all is that in which we have not laughed.
The more intelligent a man is, the more originality he discovers in men. Ordinary people see no diff...
The intelligence is proved not by ease of learning, but by understanding what we learn.
Communication is something so simple and difficult that we can never put it in simple words.
Like threads of silver seen through crystal beads
Let love through good deeds show.
How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it.
Anger makes dull men witty, but it keeps them poor.
ELIZABETH I In everyone's heart stirs a great homesickness.
That is the supreme value of history. The study of it is the best guarantee against repeating it.
It is a natural virtue incident to our sex to be pitiful of those that are afflicted.
ELIZABETH I A clear and innocent conscience fears nothing.
ELIZABETH I There is one thing higher than Royalty: and that is religion, which causes us to leave the world, an...
ELIZABETH I If we still advise we shall never do.
ELIZABETH I Those who appear the most sanctified are the worst.
ELIZABETH I Though I am not imperial, and though Elizabeth may not deserve it, the Queen of England will easily ...
ELIZABETH I The word must is not to be used to princes.
ELIZABETH I The end crowneth the work.
ELIZABETH I A fool too late bewares when all the peril is past.
ELIZABETH I Brass shines as fair to the ignorant as gold to the goldsmiths.
ELIZABETH I One man with a head on his shoulders is worth a dozen without.
ELIZABETH I God has given such brave soldiers to this Crown that, if they do not frighten our neighbours, at lea...
ELIZABETH I God forgive you, but I never can.
ELIZABETH I I would rather go to any extreme than suffer anything that is unworthy of my reputation, or of that ...
ELIZABETH I The past cannot be cured.
ELIZABETH I The stone often recoils on the head of the thrower.
ELIZABETH I I have the heart of a man, not a woman, and I am not afraid of anything.
ELIZABETH I I do not so much rejoice that God hath made me to be a Queen, as to be a Queen over so thankful a pe...
ELIZABETH I To be a king and wear a crown is a thing more glorious to them that see it than it is pleasant to th...
ELIZABETH I I do not want a husband who honours me as a queen, if he does not love me as a woman.
ELIZABETH I I know I have the body of a weak and feeble woman, but I have the heart and stomach of a king, and o...
ELIZABETH I Do not tell secrets to those whose faith and silence you have not already tested.
ELIZABETH I All my possessions for a moment of time.
ELIZABETH I You should learn how say things with your eyes that others waste time putting into words.
EYDEN I. As for my own part I care not for death, for all men are mortal; and though I be a woman yet I have ...
ELIZABETH I I would rather be a beggar and single than a queen and married.
ELIZABETH I Monarchs ought to put to death the authors and instigators of war, as their sworn enemies and as dan...
ELIZABETH I Have the courage to face a difficulty lest it kick you harder than you bargain for.
STANISLAUS I Fear not, we are of the nature of the lion, and cannot descend to the destruction of mice and such s...
ELIZABETH I Though the sex to which I belong is considered weak you will nevertheless find me a rock that bends ...
ELIZABETH I (Response to King Erik XIV of Sweden's proposal of marriage:)

"[W]hile we perceive ... th...
ELIZABETH I [F]rom my years of understanding ... I happily chose this kind of life in which I yet live [i.e., un...
ELIZABETH I [I]n the end this shall be for me sufficient, that a marble stone shall declare that a Queen, having...
ELIZABETH I To be vain of one's rank or place, is to show that one is below it.
STANISLAS I Our wisdom comes usually from our experience, and our experience comes largely from our experience.
One thing about the school of experience is that it will repeat the lesson if you flunk the first ti...
To reprove small faults within due vehemence, is as absurd as if a man should take a great hammer to...
Faith is like electricity. You can't see it, but you can see the light.
Every tomorrow has two handles. We can take hold of it by the handle of anxiety, or by the handle of...
Some families can trace their ancestors back three hundred years, but can't tell you where their chi...
A recent survey was said to prove that the people we Americans most admire are our politicians and d...
If a man defrauds you one time, he is a rascal; if he does it twice, you are a fool.
Flattery looks like friendship, just like a wolf looks like a dog.
Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.
Courage is always greatest when blended with meekness; intellectual ability is most admired when it ...
Freedom also includes the right to mismanage your own affairs.
Let your friends be the friends of your deliberate choice.
The man who has strong opinions and always says what he thinks is courageous - and friendless.
Friendship is love with understanding.
So few people think. When we find one who really does, we call him a genius
Your life can't go according to plan if you have no plan.
Practicing the Golden Rule is not a sacrifice; it is an investment.
Conversation is an exercise of the mind; gossip is merely an exercise of the tongue.
An expert gossiper knows how much to leave out of a conversation

More P.G. Wodehouse

If he had a mind, there was something on it.
P.G. WODEHOUSE Marriage is not a process for prolonging the life of love, sir. It merely mummifies its corpse.
P.G. WODEHOUSE There is only one cure for grey hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.
P.G. WODEHOUSE It was one of those parties where you cough twice before you speak and then decide not to say it aft...
P.G. WODEHOUSE If there is one thing I dislike, it is the man who tries to air his grievances when I wish to air mi...
P.G. WODEHOUSE She looked as if she had been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say "when".
P.G. WODEHOUSE Everything in life that’s any fun, as somebody wisely observed, is either immoral, illegal or fatt...
P.G. WODEHOUSE Bicky rocked, like a jelly in a high wind.
P.G. WODEHOUSE He had just about enough intelligence to open his mouth when he wanted to eat, but certainly no more...
P.G. WODEHOUSE And she's got brains enough for two, which is the exact quantity the girl who marries you will need.
P.G. WODEHOUSE Freddie experienced the sort of abysmal soul-sadness which afflicts one of Tolstoy's Russian peasant...
P.G. WODEHOUSE He had the look of one who had drunk the cup of life and found a dead beetle at the bottom.
P.G. WODEHOUSE I'm not absolutely certain of the facts, but I rather fancy it's Shakespeare who says that it's alwa...
P.G. WODEHOUSE I am not always good and noble. I am the hero of this story, but I have my off moments.
P.G. WODEHOUSE Unseen in the background, Fate was quietly slipping lead into the boxing-glove.
P.G. WODEHOUSE It was one of those cases where you approve the broad, general principle of an idea but can't help b...
P.G. WODEHOUSE ...and, according to my nearest and dearest, practically a half-witted bachelor at that.
P.G. WODEHOUSE The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wron...
P.G. WODEHOUSE There are moments, Jeeves, when one asks oneself, 'Do trousers matter?'"
"The mood will pass, s...
P.G. WODEHOUSE He was a Frenchman, a melancholy-looking man. His aspect was that of one who has been looking for th...
P.G. WODEHOUSE A melancholy-looking man, he had the appearance of one who has searched for the leak in life's gas-p...
P.G. WODEHOUSE The brains of members of the Press departments of motion-picture studios resemble soup at a cheap re...
P.G. WODEHOUSE Mike’s statement that he wanted to get up early and have a ride had been received by Psmith, with ...
P.G. WODEHOUSE How long Archibald slept he could not have said. He woke some hours later with a vague feeling that ...
P.G. WODEHOUSE No fair-minded girl objects to a certain tinge of jealousy. Kept within proper bounds, it is a compl...
P.G. WODEHOUSE No sir," said Mr Molloy. "I'm mighty sorry I can't meet you in any way, but the fact is I'm all fixe...
P.G. WODEHOUSE What ho!" I said.
"What ho!" said Motty.
"What ho! What ho!"
"What ho! What ho! What ...
P.G. WODEHOUSE It is no use telling me there are bad aunts and good aunts. At the core, they are all alike. Sooner ...
P.G. WODEHOUSE Gussie, a glutton for punishment, stared at himself in the mirror.
P.G. WODEHOUSE At a time when she was engaged to Stilton Cheesewright, I remember recording in the archives that sh...
P.G. WODEHOUSE In a series of events, all of which had been a bit thick, this, in his opinion, achieved the maximum...
P.G. WODEHOUSE At the age of eleven or thereabouts women acquire a poise and an ability to handle difficult situati...
P.G. WODEHOUSE I mean to say, I know perfectly well that I've got, roughly speaking, half the amount of brain a nor...
P.G. WODEHOUSE It has been well said that an author who expects results from a first novel is in a position similar...
P.G. WODEHOUSE That is life. Just one long succession of misunderstandings and rash acts and what not. Absolutely.
P.G. WODEHOUSE There is no surer foundation for a beautiful friendship than a mutual taste in literature.
P.G. WODEHOUSE The true philosopher is a man who says "All right," and goes to sleep in his armchair.
P.G. WODEHOUSE Employers are like horses — they require management.
P.G. WODEHOUSE The trouble with cats is that they've got no tact.
P.G. WODEHOUSE From my earliest years I had always wanted to be a writer. It was not that I had any particular mess...
P.G. WODEHOUSE She looked like something that might have occured to Ibsen in one of his less frivolous moments.
P.G. WODEHOUSE The principle I always go on in writing a novel is to think of the characters in terms of actors in ...
P.G. WODEHOUSE It was one of the dullest speeches I ever heard. The Agee woman told us for three quarters of an hou...
P.G. WODEHOUSE Why do dachshunds wear their ears inside out?
P.G. WODEHOUSE I flung open the door. I got a momentary flash of about a hundred and fifteen cats of all sizes and ...
P.G. WODEHOUSE If this is Upper Silesia, what on earth must Lower Silesia be like?
P.G. WODEHOUSE What's the use of a great city having temptations if fellows don't yield to them?
P.G. WODEHOUSE I'm not absolutely certain of my facts, but I rather fancy it's Shakespeare -- or, if not, it's some...
P.G. WODEHOUSE But when I say 'cow', don’t go running away with the idea of some decent, self-respecting cudster ...
P.G. WODEHOUSE Sober or blotto, this is your motto: keep muddling through.
P.G. WODEHOUSE Has anybody ever seen a drama critic in the daytime? Of course not. They come out after dark, up to ...
P.G. WODEHOUSE It seems to be one of Nature’s laws that the most attractive girls should have the least attractiv...
P.G. WODEHOUSE Boyhood, like measles, is one of those complaints which a man should catch young and have done with,...
P.G. WODEHOUSE A man's subconscious self is not the ideal companion. It lurks for the greater part of his life in s...
P.G. WODEHOUSE He looked haggard and careworn, like a Borgia who has suddenly remembered that he has forgotten to s...
P.G. WODEHOUSE One of the Georges - I forget which - once said that a certain number of hours' sleep each night - I...
P.G. WODEHOUSE ...there was practically one handwriting common to the whole school when it came to writing lines. I...
P.G. WODEHOUSE One of the poets, whose name I cannot recall, has a passage, which I am unable at the moment to reme...
P.G. WODEHOUSE You would not enjoy Nietzsche, sir. He is fundamentally unsound.
P.G. WODEHOUSE Intoxicated? The word did not express it by a mile. He was oiled, boiled, fried, plastered, whiffled...
P.G. WODEHOUSE It was a morning when all nature shouted "Fore!" The breeze, as it blew gently up from the valley, s...
P.G. WODEHOUSE Golf, like measles, should be caught young.
P.G. WODEHOUSE The least thing upset him on the links. He missed short putts because of the uproar of the butterfli...
P.G. WODEHOUSE Golf... is the infallible test. The man who can go into a patch of rough alone, with the knowledge t...
P.G. WODEHOUSE To find a man's true character, play golf with him.
P.G. WODEHOUSE There is nothing an author today has to guard himself more carefully against than the Saga Habit. Th...
P.G. WODEHOUSE It isn't often that Aunt Dahlia lets her angry passions rise, but when she does, strong men climb tr...
P.G. WODEHOUSE A certain critic -- for such men, I regret to say, do exist -- made the nasty remark about my last n...
P.G. WODEHOUSE Morning, Bill,' said Lord Tidmouth agreeably.

'Go to hell!' said Bill.

'Right-...
P.G. WODEHOUSE The ideal adventurer needs... the quality of not being content to mind his own affairs...
P.G. WODEHOUSE -'What do ties matter, Jeeves, at a time like this?'
There is no time, sir, at which ties do no...
P.G. WODEHOUSE This is peculiarly an age in which each of us may, if he do but search diligently, find the literatu...
P.G. WODEHOUSE He was one of those earnest, persevering dancers--the kind that have taken twelve correspondence les...
P.G. WODEHOUSE It is the bungled crime that brings remorse.
P.G. WODEHOUSE The coops were finished. They were not masterpieces, and I have seen chickens pause before them in d...
P.G. WODEHOUSE All nice girls sketch a little.
P.G. WODEHOUSE Have you ever seen a man, woman, or child who wasn’t eating an egg or just going to eat an egg or ...
P.G. WODEHOUSE I went into the kitchen ten minutes back. The cat was sitting on the mat."

Beale's narra...
P.G. WODEHOUSE He's such a dear, Mr. Garnet. A beautiful, pure, bred Persian. He has taken prizes."
"He's alwa...
P.G. WODEHOUSE I was in that painful condition which occurs when one has lost one's first wind and has not yet got ...
P.G. WODEHOUSE Conversationally, I am like a clockwork toy. I have to be set going.
P.G. WODEHOUSE The ideas of debtor and creditor as to what constitutes a good time never coincide.
P.G. WODEHOUSE It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and th...
P.G. WODEHOUSE There are situations in life which are beyond one. The sensible man realizes this, and slides out of...
P.G. WODEHOUSE Man's inability to get out of bed in the morning is a curious thing. One may reason with oneself cle...
P.G. WODEHOUSE Squiffy, have you ever felt a sort of strange emptiness in the heart? A sort of aching void of the s...
P.G. WODEHOUSE Half a league
Half a league
Half a league onward
With a hey-nonny-nonny
And a ho...
P.G. WODEHOUSE Like so many substantial citizens of America, he had married young and kept on marrying, springing f...
P.G. WODEHOUSE I said, 'Don't talk rot, Old Tom Travers."
"I am not accustomed to talk rot," he said.
"Th...
P.G. WODEHOUSE Red hair, sir, in my opinion, is dangerous.
P.G. WODEHOUSE [A]lways get to the dialogue as soon as possible. I always feel the thing to go for is speed. Nothin...
P.G. WODEHOUSE The storm is over, there is sunlight in my heart. I have a glass of wine and sit thinking of what ha...
P.G. WODEHOUSE Into the face of the young man who sat on the terrace of the Hotel Magnifique at Cannes there had cr...
P.G. WODEHOUSE It was a nasty look. It made me feel as if I were something the dog had brought in and intended to b...
P.G. WODEHOUSE I mean, imagine how some unfortunate Master Criminal would feel, on coming down to do a murder at th...
P.G. WODEHOUSE A little bit added to what you've already got gives you a little bit more.
P.G. WODENHOUSE It was a morning when all nature shouted "Fore!" The breeze, as it blew gently up from the valley, s...
P.G. WODHOUSE Every author really wants to have letters printed in the papers. Unable to make the grade, he drops ...
P. G. WODEHOUSE It was my Uncle George who discovered that alcohol was a food well in advance of modern medical thou...
P. G. WODEHOUSE I know I was writing stories when I was five. I don't know what I did before that. Just loafed I...
P. G. WODEHOUSE Few of them were to be trusted within reach of a trowel and a pile of bricks.
P. G. WODEHOUSE He was a tubby little chap who looked as if he had been poured into his clothes and had forgotten to...
P. G. WODEHOUSE Her pupils were at once her salvation and her despair. They gave her the means of supporting life, b...
P. G. WODEHOUSE Success comes to a writer as a rule, so gradually that it is always something of a shock to him to l...
P. G. WODEHOUSE He was white and shaken, like a dry martini.
P. G. WODEHOUSE She had a penetrating sort of laugh. Rather like a train going into a tunnel.
P. G. WODEHOUSE I just sit at a typewriter and curse a bit.
P. G. WODEHOUSE Golf... is the infallible test. The man who can go into a patch of rough alone, with the knowledge t...
P. G. WODEHOUSE Has anybody ever seen a dramatic critic in the daytime? Of course not. They come out after dark, up ...
P. G. WODEHOUSE I could see that, if not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled.
P. G. WODEHOUSE There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.
P. G. WODEHOUSE The least thing upset him on the links. He missed short putts because of the uproar of the butterfli...
P. G. WODEHOUSE Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum.
P. G. WODEHOUSE Flowers are happy things.
P. G. WODEHOUSE It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and th...
P. G. WODEHOUSE Sudden success in golf is like the sudden acquisition of wealth. It is apt to unsettle and deteriora...
P. G. WODEHOUSE Memories are like mulligatawny soup in a cheap restaurant. It is best not to stir them.
P. G. WODEHOUSE To find a man's true character, play golf with him.
P. G. WODEHOUSE Golf, like measles, should be caught young.
P. G. WODEHOUSE Boyhood, like measles, is one of those complaints which a man should catch young and have done with,...
P. G. WODEHOUSE Has anybody ever seen a drama critic in the daytime? Of course not. They come out after dark, up to ...
P. G. WODEHOUSE The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wron...
P. G. WODEHOUSE At the age of eleven or thereabouts women acquire a poise and an ability to handle difficult situati...
P. G. WODEHOUSE A man's subconscious self is not the ideal companion. It lurks for the greater part of his life in s...
P. G. WODEHOUSE If not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled.
P. G. WODEHOUSE Success comes to a writer, as a rule, so gradually that it is always something of a shock to him to ...
P. G. WODEHOUSE He virtually lives on fish
P. G. WODEHOUSE The lunches of fifty-seven years had caused his chest to slip down to the mezzanine floor.
P. G. WODEHOUSE To find a man's true character, play golf with him.
P. G. WODEHOUSE He felt like a man who, chasing rainbows, has had one of them suddenly turn and bite him in the leg.
P. G. WODEHOUSE The cup of tea on arrival at a country house is a thing which, as a rule, I particularly enjoy. I li...
P. G. WODEHOUSE Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum.
P. G. WODEHOUSE I pressed down the mental accelerator. The old lemon throbbed fiercely. I got an idea.
P. G. WODEHOUSE "Chumps always make the best husbands. When you marry, Sally, grab a chump. Tap his forehead first,...
P. G. WODEHOUSE She looked as if she had been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say "when."
P. G. WODEHOUSE If I had had to choose between him and a cockroach as a companion for a walking-tour, the cockroach ...
P. G. WODEHOUSE Psmith is the only thing in my literary career which was handed to me on a plate with watercress rou...
P. G. WODEHOUSE Unlike the male codfish which, suddenly finding itself the parent of three million five hundred thou...
P. G. WODEHOUSE New York is a small place when it comes to the part of it that wakes up just as the rest is going to...
P. G. WODEHOUSE She fitted into my biggest armchair as if it had been built round her by someone who knew they were ...
P. G. WODEHOUSE Marriage isn't a process of prolonging the life of love, but of mummifying the corpse.
P. G. [SIR PELHAM GRENVILLE] WODEHOUSE I always advise people never to give advice.
P. G. [SIR PELHAM GRENVILLE] WODEHOUSE Has anybody ever seen a dramatic critic in the daytime? Of course not. They come out after dark, up ...
P. G. [SIR PELHAM GRENVILLE] WODEHOUSE My only objection to the custom of giving books as Christmas presents is perhaps the selfish one tha...
P. G. [SIR PELHAM GRENVILLE] WODEHOUSE Golf...is the infallible test. The man who can go into a patch of rough alone, with the knowledge th...
P. G. [SIR PELHAM GRENVILLE] WODEHOUSE Judges, as a class, display, in the matter of arranging alimony, that reckless generosity which is f...
P. G. [SIR PELHAM GRENVILLE] WODEHOUSE Flowers are happy things.
P. G. [SIR PELHAM GRENVILLE] WODEHOUSE He was a tubby little chap who looked as if he had been poured into his clothes and had forgotten to...
P. G. [SIR PELHAM GRENVILLE] WODEHOUSE It is good rule in life to never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and t...
P. G. [SIR PELHAM GRENVILLE] WODEHOUSE