In spring birds return from their tropical vacation. Six months later they regret their decision and go back.

I took my dog to the fire hydrant factory. They never saw so much excitement every time a hydrant came off the assembly line.

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.'

I wish that all of my enemies had three cars parked in front of their house. An ambulance, fire truck and police car.

Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.

If you know how many cupcakes I'm holding behind my back I'll give you both of them.