It is not best that we use our morals week days; it gets them out of repair for Sundays

Adam was the author of sin, and I wish he had taken out an international copyright on it.

After all these years I see that I was mistaken about Eve in the beginning; it is better to live outside the Garden with her than inside it without her.

I could have made a neat retort but didn't, for I was flurried and didn't think of it till I was downstairs

We never become really and genuinely our entire and honest selves until we are dead / and not then until we have been dead years and years. People ought to start dead and then they would be honest so much earlier.

The true pioneer of civilization is not the newspaper, not religion, not the railroad--but whiskey!