I've been bitten, scratched, had [my] head cracked open.

The cats are terrible. Out of every 10, nine are scratching and biting and hissing.

The suffering is overwhelming. Sometimes they have food left, but all their water is gone. Every second is critical.

A minister has to be able to read a clock. At noon, it's time to go home and turn up the pot roast and get the peas out of the freezer.

The funniest line in English is 'Get it?' When you say that, everyone chortles.

Welcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.