FastSaying

Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?


Groucho Marx

  Email Quote to Friends   Link to Quote   Create Short URL  Publish Text About This Quote   Share on Facebook, Twitter, and more
  See Recommended Quotes For You

Related

Marriage is a wonderful institution... but who wants to live in an institution?
BENJAMIN FRANKLIN Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
GROUCHO MARX Marriage is an institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
SOURCE UNKNOWN Marriage is a great institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
KATHARINE HEPBURN Marriage is a great institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
MARX GROUCHO Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who would want to live in an institution?
H. L. MENCKEN Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who would want to live in an institution.
H. L. MENCKEN Marriage is a fine institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.
MAE WEST Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.
MAE WEST Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
MAE WEST Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.
MAE WEST Any man," she muttered, "who wanted to marry into the Hathaway family after this should be shut away...
LISA KLEYPAS Marriage is a great institution.
ELIZABETH TAYLOR Marriage is an institution and that's where a couple finish up.
LES DAWSON Any man,” she muttered, “who wanted to marry into the Hathaway family after this should be shut ...
LISA KLEYPAS While I believe in marriage as an institution, I am also petrified of it.
SHAHID KAPOOR Can't you see that marriage is a fundamentally different institution?
TOM MCCLINTOCK I love marriage. I think it's a wonderful institution and it's the most important decision y...
ISLA FISHER Marriage is a great institution. No family should be without it.
MAE WEST I love the institution of marriage, and I love my marriage.
KYLE CHANDLER Marriage is the only institution in life where the word familiarity becomes familiar.
DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN) Love is blind and marriage is the institution for the blind.
LEWIS GRIZZARD Love is blind and marriage is the institution for the blind.
JAMES GRAHAM Civil union is less than marriage. Marriage is a sacred and valued institution and ought to be affor...
JAMES MCGREEVEY The 'institution of marriage' is being threatened - by people getting married? Huh?
CHRISTINA ENGELA The whole institution of marriage itself really has no place in a progressive society.
DOUG STANHOPE Chanel is an institution, and you have to treat an institution like a whore – and then you get som...
KARL LAGERFELD Marriage as an institution developed from rape as a practice. Rape, originally defined as abduction,...
ANDREA DWORKIN I was always a fan of Groucho Marx as a kid.
MICHAEL FELDMAN Protecting the institution of marriage safeguards, I believe, the American family.
JOHN BOEHNER God created the institution of marriage for mutual happiness and pleasure
PST ADELAJA SUNDAY God created the institution of marriage for mutual happiness and pleasure.
SUNDAY ADELAJA An historic institution, which never went right, is really quite much of a miracle as an institution...
G.K. CHESTERTON The family was God's idea, not our own, and it is still a wonderful institution.
JAMES C. DOBSON Marriage is not just about two loving and committed people. Marriage is a social institution that pr...
JULAINE APPLING I don't think it does. These are people who struggle with their life. The compound shows a very diff...
CAROLYN STRAUSS It is statistically proven that the strongest institution that guarantees procreation and continuity...
ALVEDA KING It's an opportunity to draw the entire community together. Not to focus on a man, but to focus on th...
JUDI HENSLEY The world would not be in such a snarl,/ had Marx been Groucho instead of Karl.
IRVING BERLIN The world would not be in such a snarl, had Marx been Groucho instead of Karl.
IRVING BERLIN A founder can carry an institution only so far, and then others have to step in, even the alumni. Th...
SHIV NADAR A lot of people seem to want to make the institution of marriage substitute for a real relationship.
SUSAN FALUDI I believe in the institution of marriage, and I intend to keep trying till I get it right.
RICHARD PRYOR The institutions of Churchianity are not Christianity. An institution is a good thing if it is secon...
OSWALD CHAMBERS Marriage is a natural and beautiful institution between a man and a woman. It's wrong for judges and...
RANDY THOMASSON If traditional marriage is not the law of the land, the institution of the family will cease to exis...
JAMES DOBSON The marriage of a man and woman is the most enduring human institution, honored in all cultures and ...
JEFF MILLER The only real laughter comes from despair.
GROUCHO MARX I’ll put off reading Lolita for six more years until she turns 18.
GROUCHO MARX In many ways, the crumbling of the institution of marriage is the real 'war on women.' Marri...
TIM HUELSKAMP This is not a question of one man, but of an institution that needs to be reformed.
GUIDO TABELLINI Up there with my awards, I have a great big statue of Groucho Marx, just to put everything in perspe...
JOHN LITHGOW If the only way we can be shareholders in the tedious marriage institution is by first doing a 4year...
DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN) It's more than a game. It's an institution.
THOMAS HUGHES The institution of Royalty in any form is an insult to the human race.
MARK TWAIN Slavery is an institution for converting men into monkeys.
RALPH WALDO EMERSON An institution is the lengthened shadow of one man.
RALPH WALDO EMERSON We try to target our examinations to the specific activities of an institution and those that repres...
BARBARA GRUNKEMEYER There's a lot of me in it. But the character is more egotistical. I'm also egotistical, but not the ...
PAULO COELHO Marriage is a very sacred institution and should not be degraded by allowing every other type of rel...
BEN CARSON Marriage is an institution fits in perfect harmony with the laws of nature; whereas systems of slave...
JACK KINGSTON I believe in the institution of marriage and it's like a tag to cement the relationship for your...
KAREENA KAPOOR KHAN [Democracy:] An institution in which the whole is equal to the scum of the parts.
KEITH PRESTON Property is a central economic institution of any society, and private property is the central insti...
DAVID FRIEDMAN Is not marriage an open question, when it is alleged, from the beginning of the world, that such as ...
RALPH WALDO EMERSON An institution rooted in slavery can never set us free.
DASHANNE STOKES Nobody is bothered about an institution more than its alumni.
N. R. NARAYANA MURTHY Democracy is a fragile institution.
BOB GRAHAM We all want merit to mean something, and we all may be tempted to reduce that meaning to something m...
ERIC LIU Culture, what you believe, what you value, how you live matters. Now, as fundamental as these princi...
MITT ROMNEY Most women would each be left with fewer dreams or without a dream, if the institution of marriage w...
MOKOKOMA MOKHONOANA The Royal Academy of Dance is an institution that trains to a very high standard.
DARCEY BUSSELL I would have brought something different and unique. But they wanted someone with administrative exp...
DAVID MAGNANI It's a very good institution. You can't help but sympathize with the people who work there.
LAURA GUNN would like to extend a helping hand to any displaced students who may wish to enroll in our institut...
BARBARA DIXON In every civilized society, there is an established institution put in place to design laws that mak...
SUNDAY ADELAJA I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it
GROUCHO MARX A writer must refuse to allow himself to be transformed into an institution.
JEAN-PAUL SARTRE removed prayer from our public schools . . . legalized the barbaric killing of unborn babies, and it...
ZELL MILLER It is more than a book, it is an institution which rules the Christian world.
PHILIP SCHAFF Even if you come to this conference as a hotel investor or an institution who wants to learn about t...
HOWARD NUSBAUM An institution rooted in slavery cannot be the voice of our people.
DASHANNE STOKES A person who wants to really get a grounding in museum work and see the whole gamut, really gets tha...
ANNE ACKERSON the church was an international institution long before globalization.
SHANE CLAIBORNE I think there is some credibility to the notion that marriage is an institution. It meant something ...
ZAK ORTH It seems to me that Sotheby's is very much like the British monarchy: an old and apparently very...
ROBERT LACEY If bigots oppose gay marriage so vehemently, it must be because marriage is a defining institution f...
EDMUND WHITE The institution of marriage should be re-examined because of its overwhelming claustrophobia. The od...
PETER BEARD Marriage is a core institution of societies throughout the world and throughout history. It's someth...
DAVID VITTER You find people doing bad things, whether it's in a community setting or in an institution. But in m...
DON PUTNAM We want to change it from a New York institution with regional branches into a global institution wi...
RICHARD HOLBROOKE I don't believe that someone who sets up an institution should be able to take out the money fro...
PALLAM RAJU The more rational an institution is the less it suffers by making concessions to others.
GEORGE SANTAYANA One of the things that gets confused often is the difference between marriage and good marriage. Mar...
REBECCA TRAISTER If people institute wrong institutions, wrong institutions do not just produce wrong people, but wro...
ERNEST AGYEMANG YEBOAH Iron Maiden is an institution, and I'm delighted that I'm involved in it, but there was a time that ...
BRUCE DICKINSON Throughout my life, there are four people I've met who were truly original people. The other thr...
ALICE COOPER It's an institution. It is where all politicians that are serious politicians make it a point to com...
CYNTHIA SAKULENZKI The cinema is an institution nowadays, with its roots sunk deep in the hearts of the millions of peo...
IVOR NOVELLO The voices of a few are threatening to redefine the definition of marriage. The people of Iowa -- no...
DAN BERRY

More Groucho Marx

I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.
GROUCHO MARX The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
GROUCHO MARX Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
GROUCHO MARX I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west ...
GROUCHO MARX I intend to live forever, or die trying.
GROUCHO MARX I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?
GROUCHO MARX Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men--the other 999 follow women.
GROUCHO MARX Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.
GROUCHO MARX One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife.
GROUCHO MARX Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
GROUCHO MARX No man goes before his time -- unless the boss leaves early.
GROUCHO MARX Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.
GROUCHO MARX The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can't fool around. If you write about som...
GROUCHO MARX Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.
GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day...
GROUCHO MARX The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open
GROUCHO MARX Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman. Then if you can get the dog to go...
GROUCHO MARX I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and...
GROUCHO MARX I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yes...
GROUCHO MARX I am so broke, I can't even afford to fill up my bicycle.
GROUCHO MARX How does the healthy dog bark? Ruff Ruff.
How does the cold dog bark ? Scarf Scarf.
How...
GROUCHO MARX I think it is good that books still exist, but they do make me sleepy.
GROUCHO MARX I have a new philosophy. I'm only going to dread one day at a time.
GROUCHO MARX Insurance is like marriage. You pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back.
GROUCHO MARX Friends are chocolate chips in the cookie of life!
GROUCHO MARX What did the dog say after walking in the desert for hours? If I don't find a tree soon I'm gonna p...
GROUCHO MARX I'm a Nillionaire. I have little to no money!
GROUCHO MARX One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.
GROUCHO MARX If aliens saw us walking our dogs and picking up their poop, who would they think is in charge?
GROUCHO MARX A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
GROUCHO MARX I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell...
GROUCHO MARX Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
GROUCHO MARX Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
GROUCHO MARX I worked myself up from nothing to extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX Look at me. I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.
GROUCHO MARX Although it is generally known, I think it's about time to announce that I was born at a very early ...
GROUCHO MARX I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX There is one way to find out if a man is honest; ask him! If he says yes you know he's crooked.
GROUCHO MARX There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of ones fellow man.
GROUCHO MARX I eat like a vulture. Unfortunately the resemblance doesn't end there.
GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
GROUCHO MARX I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. The recipes were to be the routine ones: how to make d...
GROUCHO MARX A clown is like aspirin, only he works twice as fast.
GROUCHO MARX I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.
GROUCHO MARX My mother loved children--she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX Whoever named it necking is a poor judge of anatomy.
GROUCHO MARX No man goes before his time / unless the boss leaves early.
GROUCHO MARX The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made. Life is a ...
GROUCHO MARX Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it, and then misapplying the w...
GROUCHO MARX No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
GROUCHO MARX While money can't buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
GROUCHO MARX I find television very educational. Every time someone switches it on I go into another room and rea...
GROUCHO MARX If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.
GROUCHO MARX The first thing which I can record concerning myself is, that I was born. These are wonderful words....
GROUCHO MARX Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
GROUCHO MARX I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
GROUCHO MARX Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
GROUCHO MARX Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
GROUCHO MARX Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
GROUCHO MARX In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom.
GROUCHO MARX I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
GROUCHO MARX I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.
GROUCHO MARX She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course.
GROUCHO MARX A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
GROUCHO MARX Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
GROUCHO MARX All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats.
GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I...
GROUCHO MARX I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX Before I speak, I have something important to say.
GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.
GROUCHO MARX Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
GROUCHO MARX Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
GROUCHO MARX A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
GROUCHO MARX I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.
GROUCHO MARX I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.
GROUCHO MARX Humor is reason gone mad.
GROUCHO MARX One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.
GROUCHO MARX Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
GROUCHO MARX I wish to be cremated. One tenth of my ashes shall be given to my agent, as written in our contract.
GROUCHO MARX I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX I've got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.
GROUCHO MARX I have nothing but respect for you -- and not much of that.
GROUCHO MARX He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
GROUCHO MARX I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
GROUCHO MARX I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yes...
GROUCHO MARX Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and app...
GROUCHO MARX I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to be rid of it.
GROUCHO MARX Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.
GROUCHO MARX Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
GROUCHO MARX Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
GROUCHO MARX All geniuses die young.
GROUCHO MARX There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, 'Yes,' you know he...
GROUCHO MARX I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every...
GROUCHO MARX We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her sta...
GROUCHO MARX I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a ...
GROUCHO MARX She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
GROUCHO MARX I do not care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
GROUCHO MARX No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
GROUCHO MARX My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of one's fellow man.
GROUCHO MARX She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the live of the party.
GROUCHO MARX I'd horsewhip you if I had a horse.
GROUCHO MARX In America you can go on the air and kid the politicians, and the politicians can go on the air and ...
GROUCHO MARX Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book -and does
GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I...
GROUCHO MARX Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
GROUCHO MARX Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
GROUCHO MARX There's one way to find out if a man is honest-ask him. If he says, "Yes," you know he is a crook.
GROUCHO MARX She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is han...
GROUCHO MARX Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
GROUCHO MARX It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.
GROUCHO MARX I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX I sent the club a wire stating, PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THA...
GROUCHO MARX I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX I could dance with you until the cows come home. On second thought I'd rather dance with the cows ...
GROUCHO MARX Go, and never darken my towels again.
GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day ...
GROUCHO MARX Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long e...
GROUCHO MARX My mother loved children -- she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
GROUCHO MARX We dont like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out. Well, art is art, isnt it? Still, on t...
GROUCHO MARX I don't have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They're upstairs in my socks.
GROUCHO MARX Women should be obscene and not heard.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough
GROUCHO MARX I was going to thrash them within an inch of their lives, but I didn't have a tape measure
GROUCHO MARX The secret of success is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake those, you’ve got it made.”
GROUCHO MARX Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?
GROUCHO MARX My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you ...
GROUCHO MARX My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually te...
GROUCHO MARX Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
GROUCHO MARX If income tax is the price you have to pay to keep the government on its feet, alimony is the price ...
GROUCHO MARX Don’t ever underestimate the importance of money. I know it’s often been said that money won’t...
GROUCHO MARX I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library ...
GROUCHO MARX You've got the brain of a four-year-old boy, and I bet he was glad to get rid of it
GROUCHO MARX Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX [When Judy Garland lost the 1954 best actress Oscar to Grace Kelly in] The Country Girl, ... Dear Ju...
GROUCHO MARX I was so long writing my review that I never got around to reading the book.
GROUCHO MARX Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does
GROUCHO MARX Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana
GROUCHO MARX Money will not make you happy, and happy will not make you money
GROUCHO MARX Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men, the other 999 follow women
GROUCHO MARX A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
GROUCHO MARX Here's to our wives and girlfriends...may they never meet!
GROUCHO MARX Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have...
GROUCHO MARX If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
GROUCHO MARX Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, and I'm going to be happy in it...
GROUCHO MARX I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.
GROUCHO MARX If you're not having fun, you're doing something wrong.
GROUCHO MARX One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I'll never know.
GROUCHO MARX Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.
GROUCHO MARX Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I...
GROUCHO MARX It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member
GROUCHO MARX I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. . . . I think a lot of people who hate literature but ...
GROUCHO MARX Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.
GROUCHO MARX I'm giving you 30 days to live.
GROUCHO MARX She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the life of the party
GROUCHO MARX Believe me, you have to get up early if you want to get out of bed
GROUCHO MARX A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
GROUCHO MARX And I want to thank you for all the enjoyment you've taken out of it.
GROUCHO MARX Remember, we're fighting for this woman's honor, which is probably far more than she's ever done!
GROUCHO MARX Hey, when I said work fast, I didn't mean your friend, I meant the maid.
GROUCHO MARX I have nothing but confidence in you, and very little of that
GROUCHO MARX A man's only as old as the woman he feels.
GROUCHO MARX Blood's not thicker than money
GROUCHO MARX I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.
GROUCHO MARX Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!
GROUCHO MARX The only real laughter comes from despair.
GROUCHO MARX Q: What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic?
A: Someone who stay...
GROUCHO MARX Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a man's best friend is a book. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child. I...
GROUCHO MARX I cannot say that I do not disagree with you
GROUCHO MARX I would never belong to a group that would accept someone like me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX Years ago, I tried to top everybody, but I don't anymore, I realized it was killing conversation. Wh...
GROUCHO MARX Remember men, we're fighting for this woman's honor; which is probably more than she ever did.
GROUCHO MARX I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member
GROUCHO MARX Did I ever tell you how I shot a wild elephant in my pyjamas? How he got into my pyjamas I'll never ...
GROUCHO MARX