Marriage is not a process for prolonging the life of love, sir. It merely mummifies its corpse.


P.G. Wodehouse

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Marriage isn't a process of prolonging the life of love, but of mummifying the corpse.
P. G. [SIR PELHAM GRENVILLE] WODEHOUSE
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It is a lie.
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Marriage is the beginning of love for your spouse, not the result of it.
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Love is the dawn of marriage, and marriage is the sunset of love
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My dear sir, it haunted me for the rest of my life.
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If he had a mind, there was something on it.
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There is only one cure for grey hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.
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It was one of those parties where you cough twice before you speak and then decide not to say it aft...
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If there is one thing I dislike, it is the man who tries to air his grievances when I wish to air mi...
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She looked as if she had been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say "when".
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Everything in life that’s any fun, as somebody wisely observed, is either immoral, illegal or fatt...
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Bicky rocked, like a jelly in a high wind.
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He had just about enough intelligence to open his mouth when he wanted to eat, but certainly no more...
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And she's got brains enough for two, which is the exact quantity the girl who marries you will need.
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I'm not absolutely certain of the facts, but I rather fancy it's Shakespeare who says that it's alwa...
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I am not always good and noble. I am the hero of this story, but I have my off moments.
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Unseen in the background, Fate was quietly slipping lead into the boxing-glove.
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It was one of those cases where you approve the broad, general principle of an idea but can't help b...
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There are moments, Jeeves, when one asks oneself, 'Do trousers matter?'"
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He was a Frenchman, a melancholy-looking man. His aspect was that of one who has been looking for th...
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No fair-minded girl objects to a certain tinge of jealousy. Kept within proper bounds, it is a compl...
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No sir," said Mr Molloy. "I'm mighty sorry I can't meet you in any way, but the fact is I'm all fixe...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
What ho!" I said.
"What ho!" said Motty.
"What ho! What ho!"
"What ho! What ho! What ...
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It is no use telling me there are bad aunts and good aunts. At the core, they are all alike. Sooner ...
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Gussie, a glutton for punishment, stared at himself in the mirror.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
At a time when she was engaged to Stilton Cheesewright, I remember recording in the archives that sh...
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At the age of eleven or thereabouts women acquire a poise and an ability to handle difficult situati...
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I mean to say, I know perfectly well that I've got, roughly speaking, half the amount of brain a nor...
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That is life. Just one long succession of misunderstandings and rash acts and what not. Absolutely.
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There is no surer foundation for a beautiful friendship than a mutual taste in literature.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
The true philosopher is a man who says "All right," and goes to sleep in his armchair.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Employers are like horses — they require management.
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The trouble with cats is that they've got no tact.
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From my earliest years I had always wanted to be a writer. It was not that I had any particular mess...
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P.G. WODEHOUSE
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Why do dachshunds wear their ears inside out?
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I know I was writing stories when I was five. I don’t remember what I did before that. Just loafed...
P.G. WODEHOUSE

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P. G. [SIR PELHAM GRENVILLE] WODEHOUSE
I always advise people never to give advice.
P. G. [SIR PELHAM GRENVILLE] WODEHOUSE
Has anybody ever seen a dramatic critic in the daytime? Of course not. They come out after dark, up ...
P. G. [SIR PELHAM GRENVILLE] WODEHOUSE
My only objection to the custom of giving books as Christmas presents is perhaps the selfish one tha...
P. G. [SIR PELHAM GRENVILLE] WODEHOUSE
Golf...is the infallible test. The man who can go into a patch of rough alone, with the knowledge th...
P. G. [SIR PELHAM GRENVILLE] WODEHOUSE
Judges, as a class, display, in the matter of arranging alimony, that reckless generosity which is f...
P. G. [SIR PELHAM GRENVILLE] WODEHOUSE
Flowers are happy things.
P. G. [SIR PELHAM GRENVILLE] WODEHOUSE
He was a tubby little chap who looked as if he had been poured into his clothes and had forgotten to...
P. G. [SIR PELHAM GRENVILLE] WODEHOUSE
It is good rule in life to never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and t...
P. G. [SIR PELHAM GRENVILLE] WODEHOUSE