Maybe I'm just sick of putting more into this friendship than I get out of it.

C'mon, let's go in my room and abuse drugs and stuff!

Why aren't you girls out stealing hubcaps or shoplifting like normal children?

Dear Josh, we stopped by to fuck you but you didn't answer the door. Therefore you are gay.
Sincerely, Tiffany and Amber.

You can never really trust someone who remembers every embarrassing detail of your adolescence.

Please allow me the honour of allowing you to bestow upon me a blowjob.