My standard comment is, 'If you don't want your kids to be like Bart Simpson, don't act like Homer Simpson.'

Stop thinking about fun and have it”

Homer Simpson

To alcohol! The cause of... and solution to... all of life's problems

Why don't those stupid idiots let me in their crappy club for jerks?

Trying is the first step towards failure". - Homer Simpson

I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here.