OCEAN, n. A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man -- who has no gills.


Ambrose Bierce

  Email Quote to Friends   Link to Quote   Create Short URL  Publish Text About This Quote   Share on Facebook, Twitter, and more
  See Recommended Quotes For You

Related

Ocean, n. A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man — who has no g...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.
AMBROSE BIERCE
The ocean is a body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.
AMBROSE BIERCE
A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man, who has no gills.
AMBROSE BIERCE
No formal course in fiction-writing can equal a close and observant perusal of the stories of Edgar ...
H. P. LOVECRAFT
There are four kinds of homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy.” ~ Ambrose ...
J.J. MCAVOY
A family is like a card game, on one hand, you can get a really bad hand and on the other, your hand...
GARY F EVANS...
I’m telling you, trouble is like the ocean. It covers two thirds of the world.
CHRIS CLEAVE
A man of guilt acknowledges and changes himself immediately on being hinted slightly about his fault...
ANUJ SOMANY
I just want silence... nothing less... nothing more.
DEYTH BANGER
(All the grief she had suffered over her lifetime had moulded her face into a mask of eternal sadnes...
JEAN SASSON
An ocean traveler has even more vividly the impression that the ocean is made of waves than that it ...
ARTHUR STANLEY EDDINGTON
Fuck you and them... I don't like this rules!
DEYTH BANGER
The man I am today it's not the man of yesterday
CHRISTOPHER FUDGE
History is a wheel, for the nature of man is fundamentally unchanging. What has happened before will...
GEORGE R.R. MARTIN
Our oceans cover two-thirds of what my grandfather called our water planet, and the part of the ocea...
PHILIPPE COUSTEAU, JR.
Neither does man have gills for living in a water environment; yet it is not sinful to explore the d...
WALTER LANG
Older people are the biggest users of healthcare, occupying almost two thirds of our hospital beds. ...
ANNA WALKER
The beauty of a woman may be the root of all evil. but the beauty is a only seen, your eyes wants to...
ARVIND YADAV
Every man is the builder of a temple, called his body, to the god he worships, after a style purely ...
HENRY DAVID THOREAU
Two thirds of faith is courage. Two thirds of hope is patience. Two thirds of virtue is love.
MATSHONA DHLIWAYO
As I’ve said, encountering death has a way of jerking your priorities into line.
JAMES C. DOBSON
I'm not saying that I'm better than anyone... I'm just saying that I'm one-of-a-kind.
C LIONG
A person of value have skill, a vision & a deep desire to achieve what they dream for. Happiness com...
DR ANIL KUMAR SINHA
The school year progressed slowly. I felt as if I had been in the sixth grade for years, yet it was ...
LUCY GREALY
The value of a consultant;An outsider can see what an insider cannot see or has decided to ignore.
DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN)
The worth of a person’s quote is in his or her heart where it takes the birth and the value of the...
ANUJ SOMANY
Walking the rugged trail of the unknown destiny can be filled with walls crashing and cracks on the ...
GARY F EVANS...
It makes you wonder why the human race can be so selfish and self-centered sometimes, when on cold w...
GARY F EVANS...
To have a pet in the family is to invite good health into your lives.It brings happiness to all and ...
GARY F EVANS...
I can see you have a great deal of water in your personality. Water never waits. It changes shape an...
ARTHUR GOLDEN
كنت أصمت أذعن لمصيري. أحمل دميتي,أنزع ملابسها, أشد شعره�...
مليكة مستظرف
The norm which the society at large has set today categorically is in the form of preventive measure...
HENRIETTA NEWTON MARTIN LEGAL CONSULTANT
You really won't know where your home is until you meet your own kind and realize you're both playin...
SHANNON L. ALDER
Curran's whore comes to visit us," Jarek said in accented English.

The three men laughed ...
ILONA ANDREWS
Waves are the smiles of a river. The river will always smile when anything gets on it
SOTONYE ANGA
Like a deep sad note
played beneath the ocean
waving through the orb
the memories of ...
PAWAN MISHRA
The measure of a man is what he does with power.
PLATO
A man who has made no enemies is probably not a very good man.
ANTONIN SCALIA
You deserve to be with somebody, who knows you're the one, from that very first moment he lays eyes ...
C. JOYBELL C.
I’ve seen too many intellectuals lately. I get very tired of the precious intellects who must spea...
CHARLES BUKOWSKI
Two thirds of a century ago, we were given a national policy. It was made to fit the conditions of t...
JOHN BRACKEN
We know about man's impact on the ocean in terms of fishing and overfishing, but we don't re...
ROSE GEORGE
The architecture of a woman's body is really amazing
SOTONYE ANGA
The American people would not want to know of any misquotes that Dan Quayle may or may not make. �...
VICE PRESIDENT DAN QUAYLE
A man who has nothing which he cares about more than he does about his personal safety is a miserabl...
JOHN STUART MILL
We use two-thirds water, one-third semi-skimmed milk and cook for 40 minutes on a slow heat. Slow so...
ANTHONY STONE
For you, and for any dear to you, I would do anything. I would embrace any sacrifice for you and for...
CHARLES DICKENS
Two-thirds of the Earth's surface is covered with water. The other third is covered with auditors fr...
NORMAN R. AUGUSTINE
You want to talk about a matter of inches. No one was more distraught than Ambrose after that game.
CHARLIE WEIS
In the real world, they told you who to be, not the other way around.
RHODA BELLEZA
If you look at the Harris poll, two-thirds of them really don't know what they're doing. About one-t...
BO SCHEMBECHLER
it's okay to feel things. And be who you are about them.
STEPHEN CHOBOSKY
All concepts of making a point is another failure of communication.
DEYTH BANGER
Knowledge causes depression and a lot of pressure.
DEYTH BANGER
This is going to take a while. I'm a fantasy author. We have trouble with the concept of brevity.
BRANDON SANDERSON
Be yourself and people will like you.
JEFF KINNEY
The best person I know is Myself.
JEFF KINNEY
If you play football, then for every goal that you score, ask your self, what is the 'grudge of a li...
APURVA GAGLANI
I don’t want to start thinking again. Not like I have this last week. I can’t think again. Not e...
STEPHEN CHBOSKY
It's strange to describe reading a book as a really great experience, but that's kind of how it felt...
STEPHEN CHBOSKY
The mightiest power of death is not that it can make people die, but that it can make the people you...
FREDRIK BACKMAN
Closed eyes, heart not beating, but a living love.
AVIS COREA
I’m caught between trying to live my life, and trying to run from it.
STEPHEN CHBOSKY
I don't want to be somebody's crush.if somebody likes me, i want them to like the real me, not what ...
STEPHEN CHBOSKY
You must save what you can of your life; you musn't lose it all simply because you've lost a part.
HENRY JAMES
لم يكن بمقدوري سوى الهروب إلى عالمي الخاص: إلى الحلم. أت...
مليكة مستظرف
A Common Man who has Common Sense is better qualified to Lead than a Leader who has no sense of the ...
J.J. BOWLERS
It is perfectly monstrous,' he said, at last, 'the way people go about nowadays saying things agains...
OSCAR WILDE
A man who has nothing for which he willing to fight; nothing he cares about more than his own per...
ANONYMOUS
Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more fun.
WOODY ALLEN
Let your true love be your lifetime treasure and beyond.
ANGELICA HOPES
Fear only two: God, and the man who has no fear of God.
PROVERB
Fear only two: God, and the man who has no fear of God.
HASIDIC PROVERB
It represents two-thirds of our budget. It's a good money make for us.
JEFF WELLS
On the sea he wished to meet it, if meet it he must. He was not sure why this was, yet he had a terr...
URSULA K. LE GUIN
You're still lovely," Mor said a bit gently.
Elain offered a half smile. "I suppose that war m...
SARAH J. MAAS
Two-thirds of the Earth's surface is covered with water. The other third is covered with auditor...
NORMAN RALPH AUGUSTINE
While we are sleeping, two-thirds of the world is plotting to do us in
DEAN RUSK
While we are sleeping, two-thirds of the world is plotting to do us in.
DEAN RUSK
With everything there is what to do.
AULIQ ICE
The man who has no sense of history, is like a man who has no ears or eyes
ADOLF HITLER
"The man who has no sense of history, is like a man who has no ears or eyes"
ADOLF HITLER
He who is satisfied with what he has, is a rich man. -Nabil N. Jamal
NABIL N. JAMAL
Beware of a man, who has no enemy for he is enemy of all.
DR HITESH C SHETH
Getting a problem analyzed is two-thirds of solving it.
ROBERT A. HEINLEIN
The shame and the downfall of a modern materialistic society is her inability to treasure, care for,...
C. JOYBELL C.
That boy had wanted to be Ser Arthur Dayne, but someplace along the way he had become the Smiling Kn...
GEORGE R.R. MARTIN
The measure of a man is the way he bears up under misfortune.
PETER NIVIO ZARLENGA
Man has no Body distinct from his Soul; for that called Body is a portion of Soul discerned by the f...
WILLIAM BLAKE
Bierce radiates brilliancy, and perhaps no other man of letters ever had a more ready command of con...
EDWIN MARKHAM
She wasn't bitter. She was sad, though. But it was a hopeful kind of sad. The kind of sad that just ...
STEPHEN CHBOSKY
So, I guess we are who we are for alot of reasons. And maybe we'll never know most of them. But even...
STEPHEN CHBOSKY
The issue isn't whether he loved you, it's how much. Too much. Love can be poison
SARAH J. MAAS
I am broken and healing, but every piece of my heart belong to you.
SARAH J. MAAS
He thinks he'll be remembered as the villain in the story. But I forgot to tell him that the villain...
SARAH J. MAAS
But even if we don't have the power to choose where we come from, we can still choose where we go fr...
STEPHEN CHOBOSKY
I love my mom so much. I don't care if that's corny to say. I think on my next birthday, I'm going t...
STEPHEN CHBOSKY
We Are All Infinite
STEPHEN CHBOSKY
I don’t know if I will have the time to write any more letters, because I might be too busy trying...
STEPHEN CHBOSKY

More Ambrose Bierce

Destiny: A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Belladonna, n.: In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the e...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Immortality: A toy which people cry for, And on their knees apply for, Dispute, contend and lie for,...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Suffrage, noun. Expression of opinion by means of a ballot. The right of suffrage (which is held to ...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Laziness. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Doubt is the father of invention.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Life - a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Men become civilized, not in proportion to their willingness to believe, but in proportion to their ...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Cabbage: a familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Photograph: a picture painted by the sun without instruction in art.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Cynic, n: a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Deliberation, n.: The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to ...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Liberty:one of imaginations most precious possessions.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Quoting: the act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Success is the one unpardonable sin against our fellows.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Optimist: a proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Litigant: a person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bone.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.
AMBROSE BIERCE
ZEAL, n. A certain nervous disorder afflicting the young and inexperienced. A passion that goeth b...
AMBROSE BIERCE
For every man there is something in the vocabulary that would stick to him like a second skin. His e...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Education, n.: That which discloses the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understand...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
AMBROSE BIERCE
You don't have to be stupid to be a Christian, ... but it probably helps.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Ocean, n. A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man — who has no g...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Fidelity. A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Incompatibility. In matrimony a similarity of tastes, particularly the taste for domination.
AMBROSE BIERCE
The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Marriage. The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress and two slaves, m...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Bride. A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
AMBROSE BIERCE
What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republi...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Nominee. A modest gentleman shrinking from the distinction of private life and diligently seeking th...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Learning. The kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Consult. To seek another's approval of a course already decided on.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Happiness is an agreeable sensation, arising from contemplating the misery of others.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Life. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Acquaintance: a degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor or obscure, and intimate ...
AMBROSE BIERCE
An acquaintance is someone we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.
AMBROSE BIERCE
A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Beauty. The power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Let me tell you what a writer is. A writer takes comprehensive views, holds large convictions, makes...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Corporation. An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Don't steal; thou it never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Philanthropist. A rich (and usually bald) old gentleman who has trained himself to grin while his co...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Age. That period of life in which we compound for the vices that remain by reviling those we have no...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Success is the one unpardonable sin against one's fellows.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Education is that which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understan...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Destiny. A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Edible. Good to eat and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pi...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Knowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Erudition. Dust shaken out of a book into an empty skull.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Saint. A dead sinner revised and edited.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Insurrection. An unsuccessful revolution; disaffection's failure to substitute misrule for bad gover...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Revolution is an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Impiety. Your irreverence toward my deity.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Deliberation. The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Take not God's name in vain; select a time when it will have effect.
AMBROSE BIERCE
A prejudice is a vagrant opinion without visible means of support.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Bigot, one who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly un...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration t...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Admiration; is our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.
AMBROSE BIERCE
To bother about the best method of accomplishing an accidental result.
AMBROSE BIERCE
A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
AMBROSE BIERCE
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
AMBROSE BIERCE
A lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves a glorious success.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Peace, in international affairs, is a period of cheating between two periods of fighting.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Optimism. The doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
AMBROSE BIERCE
An optimist is a proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
AMBROSE BIERCE
They say that hens do cackle loudest when there is nothing vital in the eggs they have laid.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Heaven lies about us in our infancy and the world begins lying about us pretty soon afterward.
AMBROSE BIERCE
As records of courts and justice are admissible, it can easily be proved that powerful and malevolen...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Before undergoing a surgical operation, arrange your temporal affairs. You may live.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Politeness -- The most acceptable hypocrisy.
AMBROSE BIERCE
A man is known by the company he organizes.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Logic, n. The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapaciti...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Enthusiasm. A distemper of youth, curable by small doses of repentance in connection with outward ap...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Egotist. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than me.
AMBROSE BIERCE
An egotist is a person interested in himself than in me!
AMBROSE BIERCE
Duty. That which sternly impels us in the direction of profit, along the line of desire.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Opiate. An unlocked door in the prison of Identity. It leads into the jail yard.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Insurance: An ingenious modern game of chance in which the player is permitted to enjoy the comforta...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Backbite. To speak of a man as you find him when he can't find you.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Alien. An American sovereign in his probationary state.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Miss: A title with which we brand unmarried women to indicate that they are in the market. Miss, Mis...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Witticism. A sharp and clever remark, usually quoted and seldom noted; what the Philistine is please...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Wit. The salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out.
AMBROSE BIERCE
A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man, who has no gills.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Impartial. Unable to perceive any promise of personal advantage from espousing either side of a cont...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Dog. A kind of additional or subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the worl...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Physician -- One upon whom we set our hopes when ill and our dogs when well.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Divorce. A resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Consul. In American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is give...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Forgetfulness. A gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscien...
AMBROSE BIERCE
A cynic is a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, and not as they ought to be.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Confidante. One entrusted by A with the secrets of B confided to herself by C.
AMBROSE BIERCE
The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is ...
AMBROSE BIERCE
A funeral is a pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker.
AMBROSE BIERCE
An accident is an inevitable occurrence due to the actions of immutable natural laws.
AMBROSE BIERCE
To apologize is to lay the foundation for a future offense.
AMBROSE BIERCE
An account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly k...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Historian. A broad -- gauge gossip.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Habit is a shackle for the free.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Laughter -- An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarti...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Litigant. A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Appeal. In law, to put the dice into the box for another throw.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Trial. A formal inquiry designed to prove and put upon record the blameless characters of judges, ad...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Experience is a revelation in the light of which we renounce our errors of youth for those of age.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Experience. The wisdom that enables us to recognize in an undesirable old acquaintance the folly tha...
AMBROSE BIERCE
The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
AMBROSE BIERCE
PROPHECY, n. The art and practice of selling one's credibility for future delivery.
AMBROSE BIERCE
When in Rome, do as Rome does.
AMBROSE BIERCE
To be positive: to be mistaken at the top of one's voice.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Censor, n. An officer of certain governments, employed to supress the works of genius. Among the Rom...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Bore -- a person who talks when you wish him to listen.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by frie...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Irreligion. The principal one of the great faiths of the world.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Faith: Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things withou...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Architect. One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Genealogy. An account of one's descent from an ancestor who did not particularly care to trace his o...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Absurdity. A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Abstainer. A weak man who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Woman absent is woman dead.
AMBROSE BIERCE
The covers of this book are too far apart.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Abscond. To move in a mysterious way, commonly with the property of another.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Creditor. One of a tribe of savages dwelling beyond the Financial Straits and dreaded for their deso...
AMBROSE BIERCE
A coward is one who in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Conservative. A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from a Liberal, who wi...
AMBROSE BIERCE
The Senate is a body of old men charged with high duties and misdemeanors.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Compromise. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction of ...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Alliance. In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserte...
AMBROSE BIERCE
ALLIANCE, n. In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply in...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Acquaintance is a degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor and obscure, and intima...
AMBROSE BIERCE
ARSENIC, n. A kind of cosmetic greatly affected by the ladies, whom it greatly affects in turn."Eat ...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Compromise. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction o...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Convent. A place of retirement for women who wish for leisure to meditate upon the sin of idleness.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.
AMBROSE BIERCE
International arbitration may be defined as the substitution of many burning questions for a smoulde...
AMBROSE BIERCE
DIPLOMACY, n. Lying in state, or the patriotic art of lying for one's country.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Calamities are of two kinds. Misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
AMBROSE BIERCE
A bride is a woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic.
AMBROSE BIERCE
There are 4 kinds of Homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy.
AMBROSE BIERCE
FIDELITY, n. A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
AMBROSE BIERCE
ZOOLOGY, n. The science and history of the animal kingdom, including its king, the House Fly ("Mus...
AMBROSE BIERCE
HIPPOGRIFF, n. An animal (now extinct) which was half horse and half griffin. The griffin was a com...
AMBROSE BIERCE
ZENITH, n. The point in the heavens directly overhead to a man standing or a growing cabbage. A m...
AMBROSE BIERCE
YANKEE, n. In Europe, an American. In the Northern States of our Union, a New Englander. In the So...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Hypocrisy: prejudice with a halo
AMBROSE BIERCE
Forgetfulness. A gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscie...
AMBROSE BIERCE
One who is in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs.
AMBROSE BIERCE
OBSESSED, p.p. Vexed by an evil spirit, like the Gadarene swine and other critics. Obsession was onc...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Optimism. The doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Women and foxes, being weak, are distinguished by superior tact.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited.
AMBROSE BIERCE
QUEEN, n. A woman by whom the realm is ruled when there is a king, and through whom it is ruled wh...
AMBROSE BIERCE
When you are ill make haste to forgive your enemies, for you may recover.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Electricity seems destined to play a most important part in the arts and industries. The question of...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Electricity is the power that causes all natural phenomena not known to be caused by something else.
AMBROSE BIERCE
ECCENTRICITY, n. A method of distinction so cheap that fools employ it to accentuate their incapaci...
AMBROSE BIERCE
LAND, n. A part of the earth's surface, considered as property. The theory that land is property s...
AMBROSE BIERCE
The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Birth: The first and direst of all disasters.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affai...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Amnesty, n. The state's magnanimity to those offenders whom it would be too expensive to punish.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Famous, adj.: Conspicuously miserable.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Positive, adj.: Mistaken at the top of one's voice.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake ...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth ke...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Dog - a kind of additional or subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the wor...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Acquaintance. A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Perseverance - a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities ...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Prescription: A physician's guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Lawsuit: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Compromise, n. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction ...
AMBROSE BIERCE
The best thing to do with the best things in life is to give them up.
AMBROSE BIERCE
TELEPHONE n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeab...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Egotist, n. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Positive, adj.: Mistaken at the top of one's voice.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Sweater, n. Garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Sabbath - a weekly festival having its origin in the fact that God made the world in six days and wa...
AMBROSE BIERCE
The small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify we give the name of knowledge.
AMBROSE BIERCE