On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.

I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.

I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.

My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it.

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.