People always come up to me and say that my smoking is bothering them... Well, it's killing me!

People always come up to me and say that my smoking is bothering them... Well, it's killing me!

My mom was a ventriloquist and she always was throwing her voice. For ten years I thought the dog was telling me to kill my father.

My mother always said don't marry for money, divorce for money.

I've been pitching a show of five female stand-up comedians through the generations, from Phyllis Diller to Amy Schumer, so when I got an e-mail asking me if I would participate in the Women in Comedy Festival, I was thrilled.

Is there a doctor in the house? My parents want me to marry you.