Is there a doctor in the house? My parents want me to marry you.

My mother always said don't marry for money, divorce for money

My mother always said don't marry for money, divorce for money.

I don't think I was funny until college. I lived with some Harvard MD/PhD students - they were so smart, and what I contributed to the house was, I was the funny one.

People always come up to me and say that my smoking is bothering them... Well, it's killing me!

My mom was a ventriloquist and she always was throwing her voice. For ten years I thought the dog was telling me to kill my father.