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Philanthropist. A rich (and usually bald) old gentleman who has trained himself to grin while his conscience is picking his pocket.


Ambrose Bierce

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There are four kinds of homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy.” ~ Ambrose ...
J.J. MCAVOY The man who treasures his friends is usually solid gold himself.
MARJORIE HOLMES The man who has a conscience suffers whilst acknowledging his sin. That is his punishment.
FYODOR DOSTOYEVSKY No formal course in fiction-writing can equal a close and observant perusal of the stories of Edgar ...
H. P. LOVECRAFT The appeal to the white man's pocket has ever been more effectual than all the appeals ever made...
IDA B. WELLS And if there be in the bald head, or bald forehead, a white reddish sore; it is a leprosy sprung up ...
BIBLE While one finds company in himself and his pursuits, he cannot feel old, no matter what his years ma...
AMOS BRONSON ALCOTT A man without money has a hole in his pocket. A man with holes in his pocket has no money
GREG GAZIN The man who has won millions at the cost of his conscience is a failure.
B. C. FORBES Victory usually goes to the army who has better trained officers and men.
SUN TZU A fellow who is always declaring he's no fool usually has his suspicions.
WILSON MIZNER A person who is keen to shake your hand usually has something up his sleeve.
SIR ALEC GUINNESS The guest at the lower end of the middle couch, with three hairs on his bald head and his scalp stre...
MARCUS AURELIUS The individual who has to justify his existence by his own efforts is in eternal bondage to himself.
ERIC HOFFER Most powerful is he who has himself in his power.
SENECA He who wants to warm himself in old age must build a fireplace in his youth
GERMAN PROVERB A fellow who is always declaring that he's no fool, usually has his suspicions.
WILSON MIZNER Any man who neglects his conscience is a dangerous animal.
SUZY KASSEM A gentleman is any man who wouldn't hit a woman with his hat on.
FRED A. ALLEN He that speaketh against his own reason speaks against his own conscience, and therefore it is certa...
JEREMY TAYLOR Ask a heckler to identify himself and his company. They usually prefer to be anonymous.
JUDY MOREO Most powerful is he who has himself in his own power.
SENECA (SENECA THE ELDER) He is the most powerful who has himself, in his power.
SENECA (SENECA THE ELDER) Most powerful is he who has himself in his own power.
SENECA Most powerful is he who has himself in his own power.
LUCIUS ANNAEUS SENECA A fellow who is always declaring he's no fool usually has his suspicions.
WILSON MIZNER Whoever is open, loyal, true; of humane and affable demeanour; honourable himself, and in his judgem...
RALPH WALDO EMERSON Why does a virtuous man take delight in the landscapes? Because the din of the dusty world and the l...
KUO HIS Why does a virtuous man take delight in the landscapes? Because the din of the dusty world and the l...
KUO HIS When a man won't listen to his conscience, it's usually because he doesn't want advice from a total ...
LINDSEY STEWART I think every Palestinian now has his passport ready in his pocket,
MAHMOUD ABBAS The Right Honourable Gentleman is indebted to his memory for his jests, and to his imagination for h...
RICHARD BRINSLEY SHERIDAN Every great man nowadays has his disciples, and it is usually Judas who writes the biography.
OSCAR WILDE He who stands by his heart has God in him. Our conscience is what unites us with God.
SUZY KASSEM Every man has inside himself a parasitic being who is acting not at all to his advantage.
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS A gentleman is any man who wouldn't hit a woman with his hat on.
FRED ALLEN What a man has made himself he will be; his state is the result of his past life, and his heaven or ...
CATHERINE CROWE A true Christian is one who has not only peace of conscience, but war within. He may be known by his...
J.C. RYLE In conversation the game is, to say something new with old words. And you shall observe a man of the...
RALPH WALDO EMERSON A person will be considered dead if his conscience has died and cannot demand his basic rights.
BAHRAM BALOCH The worthy gentleman [Mr. Coombe], who has been snatched from us at the moment of the election, and...
EDMUND BURKE Long books, when read, are usually overpraised, because the reader wishes to convince others and him...
E.M. FORSTER Al has defined himself as someone who identifies problems before anyone else and offers solutions wh...
RICHARD GEPHARDT A ploughman on his legs is higher than a gentleman on his knees
BENJAMIN FRANKLIN A true intellect is one who has the credentials but keeps his knowledge to his humble self while avo...
THEODORE WALTER FEDORCHAK He who has power over himself has power over his greatest enemy.
MATSHONA DHLIWAYO One who has no love in his heart will try to possess everything for himself. One who has love in his...
THIRUVALLUVAR While Sen. Kerry's rationale has evolved over his four terms, his record is clear. His rationale has...
ED GILLESPIE A teacher is a sower of seed, a spiritual agriculturist, while he who teaches himself is the wise fa...
JAMES ALLEN Richard worked something out and went in. Hines, when you consider where he is in his career, has go...
EUGENE PARKER The outsider is not sure who he is. He has found an “I”, but it is not his true “I”.’ His ...
COLIN WILSON The Rich knowes not who is his friend.
GEORGE HERBERT A gentleman can hardly continue to sit,' he explained, in his serenest and most level voice, 'when h...
ELIZABETH MARIE POPE Prayer gives a man the opportunity of getting to know a gentleman he hardly ever meets. I do not mea...
WILLIAM RALPH INGE Prayer gives a man the opportunity of getting to know a gentleman he hardly ever meets. I do not mea...
W. R. INGE The intellectual bourgeois of the old Empire - tepid and unimaginative, mentally slow, arrogant, and...
WALTER GROPIUS Who gives himself with his alms feeds three, Himself, his hungering neighbor, and me.
JAMES RUSSELL LOWELL A lawyer is a learned gentleman who rescues your estate from your enemies and keeps it himself
HENRY PETER BROUGHAM Roy is my favorite security guy. He's a huge African-American gentleman who always has a beautiful s...
AUDREY NIFFENEGGER The term “musalman” refers to someone with “musallam iman”, that means, a pure conscience. T...
ABHIJIT NASKAR The poor man, who acknowledges his limitation and knows he has nothing to give, has everything to gi...
ETC WANYANWU One who thinks for himself is a threat to his enemies, a refuge to his acquaintances, a prize to his...
MATSHONA DHLIWAYO Besides his conscience, there is his civility.
JOE FLAHERTY I love an old-school gentleman. Picking me up for dates, sending flowers, holding the door open, I l...
MOLLIE KING Man's desire for the approval of his fellows is so strong, his dread of their censure so violent, th...
W. SOMERSET MAUGHAM The final test of a gentleman is his respect for those who can be of no possible service to him.
WILLIAM LYON PHELPS He wears himself out by his labours, and grows old through his love of possessing wealth.
UNKNOWN To be fair, he has a personal history of charitable works like this, so it's not as if this is some ...
ALLAN MAYER Who is strong? He that can conquer his bad Habits. Who is rich? He that rejoices in his Portion.
BENJAMIN FRANKLIN He who sacrifices his conscience to ambition burns a picture to obtain the ashes.
CHINESE PROVERB He who sacrifices his conscience to ambition burns a picture to obtain the ashes
CHINESE PROVERBS Who is rich? He that rejoices in his portion.
BENJAMIN FRANKLIN Who is rich? He that rejoices in his portion
THE TALMUD The part of the philanthropist is indeed a dangerous one; and the man who would do his neighbour goo...
GEORGE MACDONALD The first responsibility of the Muslim is as teacher. That is his job, to teach. His first school, h...
H. RAP BROWN Poor usually carry money in their pocket, rich businessman normally in their mind and middle class p...
ANUJ SOMANY He who promises more than he is able to perform, is false to himself; and he who does not perform wh...
GEORGE SHELLEY And he that hath his hair fallen off from the part of his head toward his face, he is forehead bald:...
BIBLE Poor is the man who does not know his own intrinsic worth and tends to measure everything by relativ...
SIDNEY MADWED Poor is the man who does not know his own intrinsic worth and tends to measure everything by relativ...
SYDNEY MADWED This is the final test of a gentleman: his respect for those who can be of no possible service to hi...
WILLIAM LYON PHELPS This is the final test of a gentleman: his respect for those who can be of no possible service to hi...
WILLIAM LYON PHELPS A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of his enemies and bear arms...
ALEXANDER DUMAS A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of his enemies and bear arms...
ALEXANDRE DUMAS A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of his enemies and bear arms...
AMBROSE BIERCE A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of his enemies and bear arms...
ALEXANDRE DUMAS People usually think that it is the coach who has to raise the spirits of his players; that it is th...
PEP GUARDIOLA Whoever has witnessed another's ideal becomes his inexorable judge and as it were his evil consc...
FRIEDRICH NIETZSCHE As a man has no right to kill one of his children if it is diseased or insane, so a man who has made...
J.M. SYNGE Frank came to this country with $150 in his pocket. Here is where Frank is really different -- he ha...
DENNIS MILLS I will not call that person happy who knows no rest because of his enemies, who is the butt of fun b...
MUNSHI PREMCHAND A politician would do well to remember that he has to live with his conscience longer than he does w...
MELVIN R. LAIRD We have an 8-year-old doing gymnastics, and we have a gentleman competing in swimming who is 90 year...
JEFF COLLINS Any individual whose conscience is pure and clear, who can think for himself or herself, is a musalm...
ABHIJIT NASKAR Well, I’ll stick to the Old Testament, picking it to pieces usually doesn’t upset people quite s...
ROBERT A. HEINLEIN Roger Kahn is someone with a gazillion dollars who thinks that he can use his vast fortune to buy te...
PHIL GINGREY A man who has learnt little, grows old like an ox; his flesh grows, but his knowledge does not grow.
FRIEDRICH MAX MULLER Rather himself is counting on a reversal of public opinion in the future, hoping to rehabilitate him...
BRENT BOZELL He isn't a real boss until he has trained subordinates to shoulder most of his responsibilities
WILLIAM FEATHER A gentleman would be ashamed should his deeds not match his words.
CONFUCIUS

More Ambrose Bierce

Destiny: A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure.
AMBROSE BIERCE Belladonna, n.: In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the e...
AMBROSE BIERCE Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.
AMBROSE BIERCE Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate.
AMBROSE BIERCE Immortality: A toy which people cry for, And on their knees apply for, Dispute, contend and lie for,...
AMBROSE BIERCE Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
AMBROSE BIERCE Suffrage, noun. Expression of opinion by means of a ballot. The right of suffrage (which is held to ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Laziness. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree.
AMBROSE BIERCE Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
AMBROSE BIERCE Doubt is the father of invention.
AMBROSE BIERCE Life - a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
AMBROSE BIERCE Men become civilized, not in proportion to their willingness to believe, but in proportion to their ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Cabbage: a familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.
AMBROSE BIERCE Photograph: a picture painted by the sun without instruction in art.
AMBROSE BIERCE Cynic, n: a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be.
AMBROSE BIERCE Deliberation, n.: The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on.
AMBROSE BIERCE Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Liberty:one of imaginations most precious possessions.
AMBROSE BIERCE Quoting: the act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
AMBROSE BIERCE Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.
AMBROSE BIERCE Success is the one unpardonable sin against our fellows.
AMBROSE BIERCE Optimist: a proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
AMBROSE BIERCE Litigant: a person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bone.
AMBROSE BIERCE Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.
AMBROSE BIERCE Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.
AMBROSE BIERCE OCEAN, n. A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man -- who has no gills.
AMBROSE BIERCE ZEAL, n. A certain nervous disorder afflicting the young and inexperienced. A passion that goeth b...
AMBROSE BIERCE For every man there is something in the vocabulary that would stick to him like a second skin. His e...
AMBROSE BIERCE Education, n.: That which discloses the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understand...
AMBROSE BIERCE Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
AMBROSE BIERCE Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
AMBROSE BIERCE Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
AMBROSE BIERCE You don't have to be stupid to be a Christian, ... but it probably helps.
AMBROSE BIERCE Ocean, n. A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man — who has no g...
AMBROSE BIERCE Fidelity. A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
AMBROSE BIERCE Incompatibility. In matrimony a similarity of tastes, particularly the taste for domination.
AMBROSE BIERCE The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity.
AMBROSE BIERCE Marriage. The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress and two slaves, m...
AMBROSE BIERCE Bride. A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
AMBROSE BIERCE What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republi...
AMBROSE BIERCE Nominee. A modest gentleman shrinking from the distinction of private life and diligently seeking th...
AMBROSE BIERCE Learning. The kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious.
AMBROSE BIERCE Consult. To seek another's approval of a course already decided on.
AMBROSE BIERCE Happiness is an agreeable sensation, arising from contemplating the misery of others.
AMBROSE BIERCE Life. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
AMBROSE BIERCE Acquaintance: a degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor or obscure, and intimate ...
AMBROSE BIERCE An acquaintance is someone we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.
AMBROSE BIERCE A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
AMBROSE BIERCE Beauty. The power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.
AMBROSE BIERCE Let me tell you what a writer is. A writer takes comprehensive views, holds large convictions, makes...
AMBROSE BIERCE Corporation. An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility.
AMBROSE BIERCE Don't steal; thou it never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.
AMBROSE BIERCE Age. That period of life in which we compound for the vices that remain by reviling those we have no...
AMBROSE BIERCE Success is the one unpardonable sin against one's fellows.
AMBROSE BIERCE Education is that which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understan...
AMBROSE BIERCE Destiny. A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure.
AMBROSE BIERCE Edible. Good to eat and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pi...
AMBROSE BIERCE Knowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify.
AMBROSE BIERCE Erudition. Dust shaken out of a book into an empty skull.
AMBROSE BIERCE Saint. A dead sinner revised and edited.
AMBROSE BIERCE Insurrection. An unsuccessful revolution; disaffection's failure to substitute misrule for bad gover...
AMBROSE BIERCE Revolution is an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment.
AMBROSE BIERCE Impiety. Your irreverence toward my deity.
AMBROSE BIERCE Deliberation. The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on.
AMBROSE BIERCE Take not God's name in vain; select a time when it will have effect.
AMBROSE BIERCE A prejudice is a vagrant opinion without visible means of support.
AMBROSE BIERCE Bigot, one who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain.
AMBROSE BIERCE Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly un...
AMBROSE BIERCE Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration t...
AMBROSE BIERCE Admiration; is our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.
AMBROSE BIERCE To bother about the best method of accomplishing an accidental result.
AMBROSE BIERCE A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
AMBROSE BIERCE All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
AMBROSE BIERCE A lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves a glorious success.
AMBROSE BIERCE Peace, in international affairs, is a period of cheating between two periods of fighting.
AMBROSE BIERCE Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
AMBROSE BIERCE Optimism. The doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
AMBROSE BIERCE An optimist is a proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
AMBROSE BIERCE They say that hens do cackle loudest when there is nothing vital in the eggs they have laid.
AMBROSE BIERCE Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
AMBROSE BIERCE Heaven lies about us in our infancy and the world begins lying about us pretty soon afterward.
AMBROSE BIERCE As records of courts and justice are admissible, it can easily be proved that powerful and malevolen...
AMBROSE BIERCE Before undergoing a surgical operation, arrange your temporal affairs. You may live.
AMBROSE BIERCE Politeness -- The most acceptable hypocrisy.
AMBROSE BIERCE A man is known by the company he organizes.
AMBROSE BIERCE Logic, n. The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapaciti...
AMBROSE BIERCE Enthusiasm. A distemper of youth, curable by small doses of repentance in connection with outward ap...
AMBROSE BIERCE Egotist. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than me.
AMBROSE BIERCE An egotist is a person interested in himself than in me!
AMBROSE BIERCE Duty. That which sternly impels us in the direction of profit, along the line of desire.
AMBROSE BIERCE Opiate. An unlocked door in the prison of Identity. It leads into the jail yard.
AMBROSE BIERCE Insurance: An ingenious modern game of chance in which the player is permitted to enjoy the comforta...
AMBROSE BIERCE Backbite. To speak of a man as you find him when he can't find you.
AMBROSE BIERCE Alien. An American sovereign in his probationary state.
AMBROSE BIERCE Miss: A title with which we brand unmarried women to indicate that they are in the market. Miss, Mis...
AMBROSE BIERCE Witticism. A sharp and clever remark, usually quoted and seldom noted; what the Philistine is please...
AMBROSE BIERCE Wit. The salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out.
AMBROSE BIERCE A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man, who has no gills.
AMBROSE BIERCE Impartial. Unable to perceive any promise of personal advantage from espousing either side of a cont...
AMBROSE BIERCE Dog. A kind of additional or subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the worl...
AMBROSE BIERCE Physician -- One upon whom we set our hopes when ill and our dogs when well.
AMBROSE BIERCE Divorce. A resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.
AMBROSE BIERCE Consul. In American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is give...
AMBROSE BIERCE Forgetfulness. A gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscien...
AMBROSE BIERCE A cynic is a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, and not as they ought to be.
AMBROSE BIERCE Confidante. One entrusted by A with the secrets of B confided to herself by C.
AMBROSE BIERCE The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.
AMBROSE BIERCE Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is ...
AMBROSE BIERCE A funeral is a pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker.
AMBROSE BIERCE An accident is an inevitable occurrence due to the actions of immutable natural laws.
AMBROSE BIERCE To apologize is to lay the foundation for a future offense.
AMBROSE BIERCE An account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly k...
AMBROSE BIERCE Historian. A broad -- gauge gossip.
AMBROSE BIERCE Habit is a shackle for the free.
AMBROSE BIERCE Laughter -- An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarti...
AMBROSE BIERCE Litigant. A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones.
AMBROSE BIERCE Appeal. In law, to put the dice into the box for another throw.
AMBROSE BIERCE Trial. A formal inquiry designed to prove and put upon record the blameless characters of judges, ad...
AMBROSE BIERCE Experience is a revelation in the light of which we renounce our errors of youth for those of age.
AMBROSE BIERCE Experience. The wisdom that enables us to recognize in an undesirable old acquaintance the folly tha...
AMBROSE BIERCE The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
AMBROSE BIERCE PROPHECY, n. The art and practice of selling one's credibility for future delivery.
AMBROSE BIERCE When in Rome, do as Rome does.
AMBROSE BIERCE To be positive: to be mistaken at the top of one's voice.
AMBROSE BIERCE Censor, n. An officer of certain governments, employed to supress the works of genius. Among the Rom...
AMBROSE BIERCE Bore -- a person who talks when you wish him to listen.
AMBROSE BIERCE Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by frie...
AMBROSE BIERCE Irreligion. The principal one of the great faiths of the world.
AMBROSE BIERCE Faith: Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things withou...
AMBROSE BIERCE Architect. One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.
AMBROSE BIERCE Genealogy. An account of one's descent from an ancestor who did not particularly care to trace his o...
AMBROSE BIERCE Absurdity. A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.
AMBROSE BIERCE Abstainer. A weak man who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
AMBROSE BIERCE Woman absent is woman dead.
AMBROSE BIERCE The covers of this book are too far apart.
AMBROSE BIERCE Abscond. To move in a mysterious way, commonly with the property of another.
AMBROSE BIERCE Creditor. One of a tribe of savages dwelling beyond the Financial Straits and dreaded for their deso...
AMBROSE BIERCE A coward is one who in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs.
AMBROSE BIERCE Conservative. A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from a Liberal, who wi...
AMBROSE BIERCE The Senate is a body of old men charged with high duties and misdemeanors.
AMBROSE BIERCE Compromise. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction of ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Alliance. In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserte...
AMBROSE BIERCE ALLIANCE, n. In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply in...
AMBROSE BIERCE Acquaintance is a degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor and obscure, and intima...
AMBROSE BIERCE ARSENIC, n. A kind of cosmetic greatly affected by the ladies, whom it greatly affects in turn."Eat ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Compromise. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction o...
AMBROSE BIERCE Convent. A place of retirement for women who wish for leisure to meditate upon the sin of idleness.
AMBROSE BIERCE Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.
AMBROSE BIERCE International arbitration may be defined as the substitution of many burning questions for a smoulde...
AMBROSE BIERCE DIPLOMACY, n. Lying in state, or the patriotic art of lying for one's country.
AMBROSE BIERCE Calamities are of two kinds. Misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
AMBROSE BIERCE Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
AMBROSE BIERCE A bride is a woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
AMBROSE BIERCE Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic.
AMBROSE BIERCE There are 4 kinds of Homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy.
AMBROSE BIERCE FIDELITY, n. A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
AMBROSE BIERCE ZOOLOGY, n. The science and history of the animal kingdom, including its king, the House Fly ("Mus...
AMBROSE BIERCE HIPPOGRIFF, n. An animal (now extinct) which was half horse and half griffin. The griffin was a com...
AMBROSE BIERCE ZENITH, n. The point in the heavens directly overhead to a man standing or a growing cabbage. A m...
AMBROSE BIERCE YANKEE, n. In Europe, an American. In the Northern States of our Union, a New Englander. In the So...
AMBROSE BIERCE Hypocrisy: prejudice with a halo
AMBROSE BIERCE Forgetfulness. A gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscie...
AMBROSE BIERCE One who is in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs.
AMBROSE BIERCE OBSESSED, p.p. Vexed by an evil spirit, like the Gadarene swine and other critics. Obsession was onc...
AMBROSE BIERCE Optimism. The doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
AMBROSE BIERCE Women and foxes, being weak, are distinguished by superior tact.
AMBROSE BIERCE Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited.
AMBROSE BIERCE QUEEN, n. A woman by whom the realm is ruled when there is a king, and through whom it is ruled wh...
AMBROSE BIERCE When you are ill make haste to forgive your enemies, for you may recover.
AMBROSE BIERCE Electricity seems destined to play a most important part in the arts and industries. The question of...
AMBROSE BIERCE Electricity is the power that causes all natural phenomena not known to be caused by something else.
AMBROSE BIERCE ECCENTRICITY, n. A method of distinction so cheap that fools employ it to accentuate their incapaci...
AMBROSE BIERCE LAND, n. A part of the earth's surface, considered as property. The theory that land is property s...
AMBROSE BIERCE The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.
AMBROSE BIERCE Birth: The first and direst of all disasters.
AMBROSE BIERCE Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.
AMBROSE BIERCE Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affai...
AMBROSE BIERCE Amnesty, n. The state's magnanimity to those offenders whom it would be too expensive to punish.
AMBROSE BIERCE Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.
AMBROSE BIERCE Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.
AMBROSE BIERCE Famous, adj.: Conspicuously miserable.
AMBROSE BIERCE Positive, adj.: Mistaken at the top of one's voice.
AMBROSE BIERCE Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
AMBROSE BIERCE Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth ke...
AMBROSE BIERCE Dog - a kind of additional or subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the wor...
AMBROSE BIERCE Acquaintance. A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.
AMBROSE BIERCE Perseverance - a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.
AMBROSE BIERCE Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Prescription: A physician's guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the...
AMBROSE BIERCE Lawsuit: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
AMBROSE BIERCE Compromise, n. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction ...
AMBROSE BIERCE The best thing to do with the best things in life is to give them up.
AMBROSE BIERCE TELEPHONE n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeab...
AMBROSE BIERCE Egotist, n. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me.
AMBROSE BIERCE Positive, adj.: Mistaken at the top of one's voice.
AMBROSE BIERCE Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.
AMBROSE BIERCE Sweater, n. Garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
AMBROSE BIERCE Sabbath - a weekly festival having its origin in the fact that God made the world in six days and wa...
AMBROSE BIERCE The small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify we give the name of knowledge.
AMBROSE BIERCE