Republicans raise dahlias, Dalmatians, and eyebrows. Democrats raise Airedales, kids and taxes.

Republicans sleep in twin beds - some even in separate rooms. That is why there are more Democrats.

Democrats never agree on anything, that's why they're Democrats. If they agreed with each other, they would be Republicans.

While the Republicans are smart enough to make money, the Democrats are smart enough to get into office every two or three times a century to take it away from them.

The Democrats and Republicans are equally corrupt -- it's only in the amount where the Republicans excel.

When everybody has got money they cut taxes, and when they're broke they raise 'em. That's statesmanship of the highest order.