She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the life of the party


Groucho Marx

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She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the live of the party.
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I was always a fan of Groucho Marx as a kid.
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The world would not be in such a snarl,/ had Marx been Groucho instead of Karl.
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The world would not be in such a snarl, had Marx been Groucho instead of Karl.
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The only real laughter comes from despair.
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I’ll put off reading Lolita for six more years until she turns 18.
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As I grow older, I become more and more of a Marxist - Groucho, that is. When you have lived two-thi...
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LIFE CAN BECOME A PILE OF LEAVES .....
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Don't look now, but there's one too many in this room and I think it's you
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Growing up she had become used to allowing men the ability to curve themselves into question marks a...
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According to the wire, you are resting well and are being taken care of by a nurse. I hope she is be...
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He that is afraid of leaves, goes not to the wood.
GEORGE HERBERT
I am afraid I am a constant disappointment to my party. The fact of the matter is, the longer I am p...
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She did not talk to people as if they were strange hard shells she had to crack open to get inside. ...
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It looks like freedom but it feels like death, it's something in between I guess. It's closing time.
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Life begins somewhere and ends somewhere with time but to get somewhere with the life you have depen...
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The Republican Party, which John McCain led as our nominee in 2008, is going to become irrelevant if...
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The meaning of life: For centuries "man" searched for the meaning of life. On that journey, the valu...
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I like to exhilarate the audience like Groucho Marx exhilarated me when I was a kid. Also, I enjoy d...
FRANK FERRANTE
I was the life and she was the soul of every party.
CECELIA AHERN
Road to destination is often very straight with journey smooth, but majority has tendency to meander...
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The tree of life is made of purity, eternity and has the bark of wisdom and enlightenment.With its b...
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Home is watching the moon rise over the open, sleeping land and having someone you can call to the w...
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I was changing a light bulb over Groucho Marx's bed, so I took my shoes off, got on his bed and ...
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Life is short, and that's why, I don't test people; because we all fail tests sometimes, but that is...
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Half the harm that is done in this world is due to people who want to feel important. They don't mea...
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Life is not a b**** shes a victim of neglect so maybe we should give her some respect.
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There lies a silence of the heart in the dance of colorful autumn leaves.
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What's happened to her? The person that she is seems like a shell designed to cover up the person th...
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Shes a very talented young forward who has so much potential. She can even step up another notch.
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If Pugh leaves his company, there might be a chance of the company doing business with the county af...
GARY WHITE
I am a Marxist... of the Groucho tendency.
SOURCE UNKNOWN
I am a Marxist--of the Groucho tendency.
ANONYMOUS
I could dance with you till the cows come home. Better still, I'll dance with the cows and you come ...
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The unfortunate thing is that, sometimes, we slip, but, fortunately, consciously or unconsciously, w...
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I don't know the meaning of life. I don't know why we are here. I think life is full of anxieties an...
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I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it
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I don't know if I have a favorite color.
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It's very special having a new little girl.
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Put your mind to it and you will do it. This is how the impossible become possible
SOTONYE ANGA
There is only one home to the life of a river-mussel; there is only one home to the life of a tortoi...
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I'm a huge Groucho fan. There were some great comic minds that would transfer into any generatio...
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A mother, after all, is your entry into the world. She is the shell in which you divide and become a...
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Sally has always worked incredibly hard to represent the people of District 21. We're very happy tha...
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Both Marx and Christ agree that in this life, a right action is consideration for the welfare of oth...
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The Tea Party movement is a wide and diverse group. It will hurt the Republican Party if some elemen...
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The genius of the Marx Brothers is for parody. They never are themselves. They exist too abundantly ...
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You cannot threaten a mad man with madness
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The car has become the carapace, the protective and aggressive shell, of urban and suburban man.
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Keep learning! Learning means growing. He who always learns knows how to grow in maturity. When we s...
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I want to be remembered as a person who wasn't afraid to start things.
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The secret of life is not in the Die And Live,
The secret of life is Don't ever lose your sense...
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The two men had a conversation. Brief, cryptic, to the point. As though they had exchanged numbers a...
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The military caste did not originate as a party of patriots, but as a party of bandits
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She said 'Over my dead body!' so I took her at her word.
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The end of the world is a strange concept. The world is always ending, and the end is always being a...
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What is the Other?" they ask.
The Other is the one who taught me whatI should be like, but not ...
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I'd always heard stories about how Harpo Marx was the most talkative of the Marx brothers. I fou...
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And often the worst thing wasn't the victims--they were dead, after all, and beyond any more pain. T...
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I knew that my niece was working nearby with some bank, so my wife rang up the mother and the mother...
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Man will become immeasurably stronger, wiser, and subtler; his body will become more harmonious, his...
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We're so afraid of being hurt that we become the abuser first.
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Look, my friends!' he called. 'Here's a pretty hobbit-skin to wrap an elven princeling in! If it wer...
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I went back to the clanging city,
I went back where my old loves stayed,
But my heart wa...
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Shes been a key for this team,
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Millions of people acknowledge today that they do not know the meaning of life.
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The thing that made Groucho special was the way he used his body parts. He also had a wicked tongue....
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It's all to do with the training: you can do a lot if you're properly trained.
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It is easy enough to define what the Commonwealth is not. Indeed this is quite a popular pastime.
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I have to be seen to be believed.
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I have in sincerity pledged myself to your service, as so many of you are pledged to mine. Throughou...
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I hope that tomorrow we can all, wherever we are, join in expressing our grief at Diana's loss, ...
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I myself prefer my New Zealand eggs for breakfast.
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The British constitution has always been puzzling and always will be.
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I have behind me not only the splendid traditions and the annals of more than a thousand years but t...
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To what greater inspiration and counsel can we turn than to the imperishable truth to be found in th...
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What were once only hopes for the future have now come to pass; it is almost exactly 13 years since ...
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First, I want to pay tribute to Diana myself. She was an exceptional and gifted human being. In good...
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To all those who have suffered as a consequence of our troubled past I extend my sincere thoughts an...
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Grief is the price we pay for love.
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I declare before you all that my whole life, whether it be long or short, shall be devoted to your s...
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More Groucho Marx

I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.
GROUCHO MARX
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
GROUCHO MARX
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
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I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
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Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west ...
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I intend to live forever, or die trying.
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I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
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Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
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I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
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Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?
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Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men--the other 999 follow women.
GROUCHO MARX
Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.
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One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife.
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Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
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No man goes before his time -- unless the boss leaves early.
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Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.
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The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can't fool around. If you write about som...
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Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.
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From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day...
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The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open
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Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman. Then if you can get the dog to go...
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I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and...
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I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yes...
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I am so broke, I can't even afford to fill up my bicycle.
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How does the healthy dog bark? Ruff Ruff.
How does the cold dog bark ? Scarf Scarf.
How...
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I think it is good that books still exist, but they do make me sleepy.
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I have a new philosophy. I'm only going to dread one day at a time.
GROUCHO MARX
Insurance is like marriage. You pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back.
GROUCHO MARX
Friends are chocolate chips in the cookie of life!
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What did the dog say after walking in the desert for hours? If I don't find a tree soon I'm gonna p...
GROUCHO MARX
I'm a Nillionaire. I have little to no money!
GROUCHO MARX
One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.
GROUCHO MARX
If aliens saw us walking our dogs and picking up their poop, who would they think is in charge?
GROUCHO MARX
A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
GROUCHO MARX
I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
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When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell...
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Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
GROUCHO MARX
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
GROUCHO MARX
I worked myself up from nothing to extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX
Look at me. I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX
Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX
If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.
GROUCHO MARX
Although it is generally known, I think it's about time to announce that I was born at a very early ...
GROUCHO MARX
I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX
There is one way to find out if a man is honest; ask him! If he says yes you know he's crooked.
GROUCHO MARX
There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of ones fellow man.
GROUCHO MARX
I eat like a vulture. Unfortunately the resemblance doesn't end there.
GROUCHO MARX
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX
Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
GROUCHO MARX
I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. The recipes were to be the routine ones: how to make d...
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A clown is like aspirin, only he works twice as fast.
GROUCHO MARX
I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.
GROUCHO MARX
My mother loved children--she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX
Whoever named it necking is a poor judge of anatomy.
GROUCHO MARX
No man goes before his time / unless the boss leaves early.
GROUCHO MARX
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made. Life is a ...
GROUCHO MARX
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it, and then misapplying the w...
GROUCHO MARX
No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
GROUCHO MARX
While money can't buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
GROUCHO MARX
I find television very educational. Every time someone switches it on I go into another room and rea...
GROUCHO MARX
If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.
GROUCHO MARX
The first thing which I can record concerning myself is, that I was born. These are wonderful words....
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Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
GROUCHO MARX
I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
GROUCHO MARX
Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
GROUCHO MARX
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
GROUCHO MARX
Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
GROUCHO MARX
In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom.
GROUCHO MARX
I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
GROUCHO MARX
I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.
GROUCHO MARX
She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX
I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course.
GROUCHO MARX
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
GROUCHO MARX
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
GROUCHO MARX
All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats.
GROUCHO MARX
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I...
GROUCHO MARX
I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX
Before I speak, I have something important to say.
GROUCHO MARX
Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX
I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.
GROUCHO MARX
Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
GROUCHO MARX
Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
GROUCHO MARX
A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
GROUCHO MARX
I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX
Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX
No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.
GROUCHO MARX
I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.
GROUCHO MARX
Humor is reason gone mad.
GROUCHO MARX
One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.
GROUCHO MARX
Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
GROUCHO MARX
I wish to be cremated. One tenth of my ashes shall be given to my agent, as written in our contract.
GROUCHO MARX
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX
I've got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.
GROUCHO MARX
I have nothing but respect for you -- and not much of that.
GROUCHO MARX
He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
GROUCHO MARX
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
GROUCHO MARX
I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yes...
GROUCHO MARX
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and app...
GROUCHO MARX
I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to be rid of it.
GROUCHO MARX
Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.
GROUCHO MARX
Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
GROUCHO MARX
Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX
I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
GROUCHO MARX
Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
GROUCHO MARX
All geniuses die young.
GROUCHO MARX
There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, 'Yes,' you know he...
GROUCHO MARX
I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every...
GROUCHO MARX
We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her sta...
GROUCHO MARX
I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a ...
GROUCHO MARX
She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX
The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
GROUCHO MARX
I do not care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
GROUCHO MARX
No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
GROUCHO MARX
My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX
There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of one's fellow man.
GROUCHO MARX
She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the live of the party.
GROUCHO MARX
I'd horsewhip you if I had a horse.
GROUCHO MARX
In America you can go on the air and kid the politicians, and the politicians can go on the air and ...
GROUCHO MARX
Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book -and does
GROUCHO MARX
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I...
GROUCHO MARX
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
GROUCHO MARX
Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
GROUCHO MARX
There's one way to find out if a man is honest-ask him. If he says, "Yes," you know he is a crook.
GROUCHO MARX
She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX
Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is han...
GROUCHO MARX
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
GROUCHO MARX
It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.
GROUCHO MARX
I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX
I sent the club a wire stating, PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THA...
GROUCHO MARX
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX
I could dance with you until the cows come home. On second thought I'd rather dance with the cows ...
GROUCHO MARX
Go, and never darken my towels again.
GROUCHO MARX
From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day ...
GROUCHO MARX
Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX
Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long e...
GROUCHO MARX
My mother loved children -- she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX
A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
GROUCHO MARX
We dont like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out. Well, art is art, isnt it? Still, on t...
GROUCHO MARX
I don't have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They're upstairs in my socks.
GROUCHO MARX
Women should be obscene and not heard.
GROUCHO MARX
Please accept my resignation. I don't want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX
Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough
GROUCHO MARX
I was going to thrash them within an inch of their lives, but I didn't have a tape measure
GROUCHO MARX
The secret of success is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake those, you’ve got it made.”
GROUCHO MARX
Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?
GROUCHO MARX
My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you ...
GROUCHO MARX
My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually te...
GROUCHO MARX
Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
GROUCHO MARX
If income tax is the price you have to pay to keep the government on its feet, alimony is the price ...
GROUCHO MARX
Don’t ever underestimate the importance of money. I know it’s often been said that money won’t...
GROUCHO MARX
I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library ...
GROUCHO MARX
You've got the brain of a four-year-old boy, and I bet he was glad to get rid of it
GROUCHO MARX
Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
GROUCHO MARX
Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX
[When Judy Garland lost the 1954 best actress Oscar to Grace Kelly in] The Country Girl, ... Dear Ju...
GROUCHO MARX
I was so long writing my review that I never got around to reading the book.
GROUCHO MARX
Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does
GROUCHO MARX
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana
GROUCHO MARX
Money will not make you happy, and happy will not make you money
GROUCHO MARX
Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men, the other 999 follow women
GROUCHO MARX
A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
GROUCHO MARX
Here's to our wives and girlfriends...may they never meet!
GROUCHO MARX
Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have...
GROUCHO MARX
If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
GROUCHO MARX
Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, and I'm going to be happy in it...
GROUCHO MARX
I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.
GROUCHO MARX
If you're not having fun, you're doing something wrong.
GROUCHO MARX
One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I'll never know.
GROUCHO MARX
Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.
GROUCHO MARX
Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
GROUCHO MARX
From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I...
GROUCHO MARX
It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.
GROUCHO MARX
Please accept my resignation. I don't want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member
GROUCHO MARX
I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. . . . I think a lot of people who hate literature but ...
GROUCHO MARX
Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.
GROUCHO MARX
I'm giving you 30 days to live.
GROUCHO MARX
Believe me, you have to get up early if you want to get out of bed
GROUCHO MARX
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
GROUCHO MARX
And I want to thank you for all the enjoyment you've taken out of it.
GROUCHO MARX
Remember, we're fighting for this woman's honor, which is probably far more than she's ever done!
GROUCHO MARX
Hey, when I said work fast, I didn't mean your friend, I meant the maid.
GROUCHO MARX
Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?
GROUCHO MARX
I have nothing but confidence in you, and very little of that
GROUCHO MARX
A man's only as old as the woman he feels.
GROUCHO MARX
Blood's not thicker than money
GROUCHO MARX
I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.
GROUCHO MARX
Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!
GROUCHO MARX
The only real laughter comes from despair.
GROUCHO MARX
Q: What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic?
A: Someone who stay...
GROUCHO MARX
Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX
Outside of a dog, a man's best friend is a book. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX
Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child. I...
GROUCHO MARX
I cannot say that I do not disagree with you
GROUCHO MARX
I would never belong to a group that would accept someone like me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX
Years ago, I tried to top everybody, but I don't anymore, I realized it was killing conversation. Wh...
GROUCHO MARX
Remember men, we're fighting for this woman's honor; which is probably more than she ever did.
GROUCHO MARX
I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member
GROUCHO MARX
Did I ever tell you how I shot a wild elephant in my pyjamas? How he got into my pyjamas I'll never ...
GROUCHO MARX