Some people are so positive, that when they slip in dog poop, they pirouette

Who enjoys life more? Well to start with, definitely the Living

Y'know when your dog drags its butt across the carpet leaving a stain- It's not as easy as it looks..."


My Anorexic Ex was so skinny she didn't give head, she gave skull

Don't ever mistake silence for ignorance, when it is obviously stupidity

When she says 'I've never done this before" she just means with you