Sometimes I can't tell if I'm in preschool or school... Oh wait, I'm at work.

I'm fast, great and unstoppable! You're a train??

The problem with drinking and driving is that trees defend themselves very well.

Mom: Why is everything on the floor? Me: Gravity, mom.

I'm super lazy today. It's like normal lazy but I'm wearing a cape.

I am going to make a very beautiful life for myself, no matter what it takes.