The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.


Woody Allen

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We are Sex Bob-Omb and we are here to make you think about death and get sad and stuff!
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There are no more surprises and shocks in life, so that I watch the flame without agitation. For me ...
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I love you every day. And now I will miss you every day.
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Do the thing and you will have the power.
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If it's what you do and you can do it, then you do it.
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If you think you can do it, you can.
JOHN BURROUGHS
It ain't bragging if you can do it.
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If you can dream it, you can do it.
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Whosover loveth wisdom is righteous, but he that keepeth company with fowl is weird.
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My Lord, my Lord! What hast Thou done, lately?
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How is it possible to find meaning in a finite world, given my waist and shirt size?
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Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?
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The government is unresponsive to the needs of the little man. Under 5'7", it is impossible to get y...
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A ''Bay Area Bisexual'' told me I didn't quite coincide with either of her desires.
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The last time I was inside a woman was when I was inside the Statue of Liberty.
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I work for a company that makes deceptively shallow serving dishes for Chinese restaurants
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I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle!
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She wore a short skirt and a tight sweater and her figure described a set of parabolas that could ca...
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Psychoanalyses is like music lessons, for 5 years you do not notice any progress and suddenly you ca...
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Having sex is like bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
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As the poet said, "Only God can make a tree" - probably because it's so hard to figure out how to ge...
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I feel that life is divided into the horrible and the miserable. That's the two categories. The horr...
WOODY ALLEN
If Jesus came back and saw what was being done in his name, he'd never stop throwing up.
WOODY ALLEN
I like the rain. It washes memories off the sidewalk of life.
WOODY ALLEN
It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones
slept better, [Cloquet...
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Subjectivity is objective.
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The most expensive sex is free sex
WOODY ALLEN
These modern analysts! They charge so much. In my day, for five marks Freud himself would treat you....
WOODY ALLEN
It is impossible to travel faster than light, and certainly not desirable, as one’s hat keeps blow...
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We laughed over it, and Hemingway punched me in the mouth.
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I think crime pays. The hours are good, you travel a lot
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Arlene and I have to get a divorce. She thinks I'm a pervert because I drank our water bed.
WOODY ALLEN
You will notice that what we are aiming at when we fall in love is a very strange paradox. The parad...
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This guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, Doc, my brother’s crazy. He thinks he’s a chicken. The...
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The heart wants what it wants.
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We're all faced throughout our lives with agonizing decisions, moral choices. Some are on a grand sc...
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Chapter 1.
He adored New York City. He idolized it all out of proportion...no, make t...
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My brain? That's my second favorite organ.
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