The hardest habit of all to break is the terrible habit of happiness.

At first cock-crow the ghosts must go
Back to their quiet graves below.

I have known sorrow--therefore I May laugh with you, O friend, more merrily Than those who never sorrowed upon earth And know not laughter's worth. I have known laughter--therefore I May sorrow with you far more tenderly Than those who never guess how sad a thing Seems merriment to one heart's suffering.

A minister has to be able to read a clock. At noon, it's time to go home and turn up the pot roast and get the peas out of the freezer.

The funniest line in English is 'Get it?' When you say that, everyone chortles.

Welcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.