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There isn't anything on earth as depressing as an old sportswriter.


Ring Lardner

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This is too much reality for a Friday.
AS GOOD AS IT GETS I have the same malice in my heart as far as the fight game is concerned, but outside the ring, I wo...
MIKE TYSON There isnt always an explanation for everything.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY Opening your mind isnt as simple as opening your eyes.
ANDONI GARCIA Death is not scary enough and not so sweet life of the human foot leaves gentility.
IMAM ALI (AS) Is there any creature on earth as unfortunate as an ugly woman? (wonders Lady Catelyn Stark)
GEORGE R.R. MARTIN The family you come from isn't as important as the family you're going to have.
RING LARDNER They gave each other a smile with a future in it.
RING LARDNER An optimist is a girl who mistakes a bulge for a curve.
RING LARDNER Walter Mayer was a hero at a Salvation Army home fire in Cincinnati.
RING LARDNER The only real happiness a ballplayer has is when he is playing a ball game and accomplishes somethin...
RING LARDNER He looked at me as if I were a side dish he hadn't ordered.
RING LARDNER A good many young writers make the mistake of enclosing a stamped, self-addressed envelope, big enou...
RING LARDNER I've known what it is to be hungry, but I always went right to a restaurant.
RING LARDNER Shut up he explained.
RING LARDNER Some like them hot,some like them cold.
Some like them when they're not to darn old
Some l...
RING LARDNER They (wives) are people who think when the telephone bell rings, it is against the law not to answer...
RING LARDNER I've known what it is to be hungry, but I always went right to a restaurant
RING LARDNER They gave each other a smile with a future in it
RING LARDNER He give her a look that you could of poured on a waffle
RING LARDNER No one, ever, wrote anything as well even after one drink as he would have done without it
RING LARDNER Although he is a very poor fielder, he is a very poor hitter.
RING LARDNER He looked at me as if I were a side dish he hadn't ordered.
RING LARDNER This story is slightly immoral, but so, I guess, are stories based on truth
RING LARDNER Where do they get that stuff about me being a satirist? I just listen.
RING LARDNER The family you come from isn't as important as the family you're going to have
RING LARDNER Are you lost, Daddy?" I asked tenderly. "Shut up," he explained.
RING LARDNER He looked at me as if I was a side dish he hadn't ordered.
RING LARDNER I am proud to be an American. Because an American can eat anything on the face of this earth as long...
BILL COSBY And if you can’t shape your life the way you want, at least try as much as you can not to degrade ...
CONSTANTINOS P. CAVAFIS In the Roman commonwealth, even on the conversion of the monarchy into a republic, the old was as fa...
THEODOR MOMMSEN I asked Ring Lardner the other day how he writes his short stories, and he said he wrote a few widel...
HAROLD ROSS As far as R&B, I listen to a lot of old school like the Temptations and Chris Brown.
JACOB LATIMORE As far as we are concerned, we Syria have not changed.
BASHAR AL-ASSAD As far as the style, I was fascinated by surrealism.
MARK MOTHERSBAUGH As far as I know, I have no pride of opinion.
ALBERT J. NOCK Nothing trumps honesty, as far as I'm concerned.
DAVID KOECHNER There is wishful thinking in Hell as well as on Earth
C.S. LEWIS Man is on earth as in an egg
HERACLITUS OF EPHESUS There is no distance on this earth as far away as yesterday.
ROBERT NATHAN There is no such thing on earth as an uninteresting subject; the only thing that can exist is an uni...
G. K. CHESTERTON People eat meat and think they will become as strong as an ox, forgetting that the ox eats grass.
PINO CARUSO As far as I'm concerned, there is no subject that's off the table.
GARRY TRUDEAU As far as festivals, nothing tops Cannes.
SASHA LANE A BMW can't take you as far as a diploma.
JOYCE MEYER Reach for it. Push yourself as far as you can.
CHRISTA MCAULIFFE Television's going, as far as I'm concerned, downhill, and I'm an anachronism.
DICK VAN DYKE Wearing corsets all the time was completely incapacitating, as far as digestion goes.
HELENA BONHAM CARTER As far as the customer is concerned, the interface is the product.
JEF RASKIN As far as music, Louis Armstrong is one of my heroes.
JON BATISTE As far as natural ability, I was always athletic.
TROY BROWN That my philosophy of life is, as far as possible, one of enjoyment. I'm not nihilistic.
ALEXANDER MCCALL SMITH Fame was not at all what it was cracked up to be, as far as I was concerned.
DAVE MADDEN One sister for sale,
One sister for sale,
One crying and spying young sister for sale
SHEL SILVERSTEIN In Cloud computing the difference between a dark cloud and a cloud with a silver lining, is the part...
RAJAT MOHAN We must strive to let go our life as we planned,so as to have life we are destined for & that comes ...
DR ANIL KUMAR SINHA The surrounding nature is the best erudite master to teach us the basics of living.
ANUJ SOMANY Success is not a journey, it's a destination called satisfaction.
ANUJ SOMANY As far as working out, I know exactly what I'm doing.
EVANDER HOLYFIELD As far as groupies, I never saw any of them.
DAVY JONES As far as my relationship with President Putin is concerned, it's fine.
GERHARD SCHRODER There is an order Of mortals on the earth, who do become Old in their youth, and die ere middl...
UNKNOWN I am Mother Nature. All of creation bows before me. When people leave their cities and learn of me�...
SETH ADAM SMITH As far as dramas are concerned, it's considered passe for playwrights to turn out anything the a...
ETHEL MERMAN Is there any pleasure on earth as great as the circle of Christian friends by a good fire?
J.R.R. TOLKIEN Ring out old shapes of foul disease; Ring out the narrowing lust of gold; Ring out the thousan...
LORD ALFRED TENNYSON There will come a day when the phone doesn't ring as much as it used to.
AIDAN QUINN As far as sustaining our popularity, I believe we can.
VINCE MCMAHON In Paris, you're as far as possible from the land of pleasant smiles.
KANYE WEST As far as my journal, I want to share tour life with my fans.
NATALIE GULBIS We've actually eliminated Type II polio in the world, at least as far as we can tell.
SETH BERKLEY Everyone imposes his own system as far as his army can reach.
JOSEPH STALIN As far as I'm concerned, I prefer silent vice to ostentatious virtue.
ALBERT EINSTEIN Go as far as you can see; when you get there, you'll be able to see farther.
J. P. MORGAN Go as far as you can see; when you get there you'll be able to see farther.
THOMAS CARLYLE What we are communicates far more eloquently than anything we say or do. There are people we trust b...
STEPHEN R. COVEY As far as single payer, it works in Canada. It works incredibly well in Scotland.
DONALD TRUMP You know, if it weren't for these fans, I wouldn't have gotten as far as I did.
ADAM LAMBERT As far as my notoriety or whatever, I haven't been the star of a hit film.
ALESSANDRO NIVOLA I wouldn't trust any man as far as you can throw a piano.
ETHEL MERMAN Nothing is ever as good or as bad as it appears to be.
JEFFREY FRY Ring out the old, ring in the new, Ring, happy bells, across the snow.
LORD ALFRED TENNYSON Everyday isnt good, but there is something good in every day.
AUTHOR UNKNOWN What's the difference between a 3-week-old puppy and a sportswriter? In 6 weeks, the puppy will st...
MIKE DITKA As far as directors, I'm a big fan of any kind of Billy Wilder stuff. Anything he does.
ROB ZOMBIE As far as style goes, I gravitate toward anything that is effortlessly chic. I don't wanna look ...
EVE Heaven would indeed be heaven if lovers were there permitted as much enjoyment as they had experienc...
GIOVANNI BOCCACCIO Heaven would indeed be heaven if lovers were there permitted as much enjoyment as they had experienc...
GIOVANNI BOCCACCIO You have to put yourself in the mindset of a 17-year-old kid instead of an old sportswriter. [Monday...
MIKE BELLOTTI That's SHIT!

How do you remove it?
You just put it inside the trash, easy as that.
DEYTH BANGER Only fools wait, and only tools bait.
CRE Normal? What's that?"

"How you really look."

"Can you take off all your clothe...
KIERSTEN WHITE Yeah, I got her,” Will confirms.
“Who you got?” I ask.
“You, drunk girl. Come on.�...
KRISTEN PROBY Will father be there?" she asked.

John turned to her in astonishment.

Your fat...
F. SCOTT FITZGERALD There are approximately two trillion cells in the human body. You are never alone, there are always ...
DWIGHT W. HAYES A young Saint - an old Devil, (mark this, an old saying, and as true a one as, a Young Whore an old ...
FRANCOIS RABELAIS There are times on Earth when extraordinary consciousness invades everyday life. There are times on ...
JACOB NORDBY The love of a dog for his master is notorious; as an old writer quaintly says, A dog is the only thi...
DR. LAUDER LINDSAY 'The Creation' presents an argument for saving biological diversity on Earth. Most of the bo...
E. O. WILSON It can hardly be a coincidence that no language on earth has ever produced the expression, 'As prett...
DOUGLAS ADAMS

More Ring Lardner

The family you come from isn't as important as the family you're going to have.
RING LARDNER They gave each other a smile with a future in it.
RING LARDNER An optimist is a girl who mistakes a bulge for a curve.
RING LARDNER Walter Mayer was a hero at a Salvation Army home fire in Cincinnati.
RING LARDNER The only real happiness a ballplayer has is when he is playing a ball game and accomplishes somethin...
RING LARDNER He looked at me as if I were a side dish he hadn't ordered.
RING LARDNER A good many young writers make the mistake of enclosing a stamped, self-addressed envelope, big enou...
RING LARDNER I've known what it is to be hungry, but I always went right to a restaurant.
RING LARDNER Shut up he explained.
RING LARDNER Some like them hot,some like them cold.
Some like them when they're not to darn old
Some l...
RING LARDNER They (wives) are people who think when the telephone bell rings, it is against the law not to answer...
RING LARDNER I've known what it is to be hungry, but I always went right to a restaurant
RING LARDNER They gave each other a smile with a future in it
RING LARDNER He give her a look that you could of poured on a waffle
RING LARDNER No one, ever, wrote anything as well even after one drink as he would have done without it
RING LARDNER Although he is a very poor fielder, he is a very poor hitter.
RING LARDNER He looked at me as if I were a side dish he hadn't ordered.
RING LARDNER This story is slightly immoral, but so, I guess, are stories based on truth
RING LARDNER Where do they get that stuff about me being a satirist? I just listen.
RING LARDNER The family you come from isn't as important as the family you're going to have
RING LARDNER Are you lost, Daddy?" I asked tenderly. "Shut up," he explained.
RING LARDNER He looked at me as if I was a side dish he hadn't ordered.
RING LARDNER Everything is nothing. Everything is all. All is one. One is inconceivable, infinite. Therefore it i...
JOHN LARDNER The only group growing faster than millionaires these days is the uninsured.
JAMES LARDNER These inequalities have happened in other countries - imperial France or some banana republic - but ...
JAMES LARDNER We have entrusted our health care system to for-profit companies.
JAMES LARDNER We [in the U.S.] are more unequal than any developed nation in the world today.
JAMES LARDNER Suddenly the already wealthy were reaping all the benefits. While other stories held our attention, ...
JAMES LARDNER While the United States remains a spectacularly rich country by any standard, we are drifting toward...
JAMES LARDNER The hunt is still a few weeks away, but the coast guard said the ice thickness is somewhat thinner t...
FRANK RING You're at much greater risk from things like railroad ties, which is the No. 1 way this termite is m...
DENNIS RING Last year we gave $105,000 in patient aid just in the Kansas City area.
JILL RING I think we have a chance to compete for (the OC title) because there are a lot of new runners in the...
DAVE RING Jake and Will are good Christian young men and they have been leading the team in the right directio...
DAVE RING We've picked up a couple kids that went out for track last year, and they should help us. We have a ...
DAVE RING They (the veterinarians) were quite satisfied that the hunt was very humane and that there was a 98 ...
FRANK RING That means people shouldn't be touching them.
FRANK RING I'd be a bit leery about landing a heavy machine like that, loaded with people, on ice that should b...
FRANK RING (Nelson) keeps saying things are required by HAVA that are not.
JENNIFER RING South Dakota should focus its efforts on ensuring that women have access to the full range of reprod...
JENNIFER RING The treatment received by Native American students in Winner and throughout the region is completely...
JENNIFER RING Education is one of the wisest investments we can make in America's future. The aid elimination prov...
JENNIFER RING (Native Americans) are disproportionately the new registrations.
JENNIFER RING The bill is so facially unconstitutional, the likelihood that it will not be challenged in court is ...
JENNIFER RING This is the first thing that you're contemplating putting into your Bill of Rights that restricts ra...
JENNIFER RING The actions of the South Dakota Legislature to silence the voice of Native American voters have been...
JENNIFER RING It seems on its face . . . that this was unnecessary, unprovoked and excessively violent.
SGT. RICHARD RING If the person who is responsible for doing this is watching, it is only going to take the smallest p...
SGT. RICHARD RING Prayer's value is not that it makes challenges go away,
but that it changes my perception and e...
PHYLLIS EDGERLY RING