There's something wrong with a mother who washes out a measuring cup with soap and water after she's only measured water in it.

There's something wrong with a mother who washes out a measuring cup with soap and water after she's only measured water in it.

When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he's doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911.

A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween.

I was terrible at straight items. When I wrote obituaries, my mother said the only thing I ever got them to do was die in alphabetical order.

When your mother asks, "Do you want a piece of advice?" it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway.