The true genius of a Woman is her subtle flair in creating the illusion that you are the smart one
JOSH STERN Dr. Suess said: 'Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened..'

I tell my dat...
JOSH STERN I'd die for your sins, but I'd probably enjoy them first
JOSH STERN Revenge is a dish best served in something microwaveable
JOSH STERN You're only given as much as you can handle, before going back for seconds
JOSH STERN Maturity is when you no longer get the urge to make snow angels in mud season
JOSH STERN Anyone can spin a victory, it's a total loss that demands creativity
JOSH STERN If the love is not madness, then the sex is not insane
JOSH STERN the only drinking problem I've ever had, is figuring out why I'm still stuck in this salad spinner
JOSH STERN What I lack in brilliance, I more than make up for in glitter
JOSH STERN positivity is the father of reinvention
JOSH STERN Don't ever mistake silence for ignorance, when it is obviously stupidity
JOSH STERN The only way I’d ever die of a broken heart, is if I slammed into something really hard
JOSH STERN It's not that I'm ahead of my time, it's more that the world is running late
JOSH STERN If you're going to walk down the aisle together, best to go single file
JOSH STERN Trying to balance chivalry with equality, I always open a door for a Lady...then stick my foot out
JOSH STERN If you're stuck in the past, you go forward in reverse
JOSH STERN A watched pot never boils.... but it does develop paranoia
JOSH STERN When she says 'I've never done this before" she just means with you
JOSH STERN If it's the thought that counts, then ignorance must use a calculator
JOSH STERN Manners without sincerity, is called polite society
JOSH STERN Some people are so positive, that when they slip in dog poop, they pirouette
JOSH STERN I hate cutting my wrists while shaving
JOSH STERN Sure I eat my feelings, but I save the emotional roller coaster for dessert
JOSH STERN I've always been a poor sport and a sore loser...any other behavior might encourage a repeat perform...
JOSH STERN Who enjoys life more? Well to start with, definitely the Living
JOSH STERN It's not hard to fail...it's hard to accept you failed...but once that's out of the way, it's pretty...
JOSH STERN If a picture paints a thousand words, then a naked picture paints a thousand words without any vowel...
JOSH STERN Women need a reason to have sex, while men just need an angle
JOSH STERN Friends might lose touch but never lose feelings
JOSH STERN The only threesome I've ever experienced is with Pantene 2 in 1
JOSH STERN In order to butterfly kiss, does it require caterpillar lips?
JOSH STERN ‎'Having' Your Cake....a little perverted....

'Eating' it too.....a lot perverted!
JOSH STERN I like gross generalizations...I also like disgusting specifics!
JOSH STERN Y'know when your dog drags its butt across the carpet leaving a stain- It's not as easy as it looks....
JOSH STERN When people try to rain on your parade,...pee on theirs
JOSH STERN I always splash on the cologne before a blind date because dogs can smell fear
JOSH STERN Most of us need something not to walk away from
JOSH STERN An alibi is one alliterative consonant short of being a magic carpet
JOSH STERN Never borrow trouble, the payback's a bitch
JOSH STERN Treat life as a suicide mission, take on the impossible jobs and attack with the gusto of someone wh...
JOSH STERN My Anorexic Ex was so skinny she didn't give head, she gave skull
JOSH STERN I love Shark Week, where all kids under 12 swim for free
JOSH STERN it can't be wrong, if it feels so wrong
JOSH STERN Flying is simple. Hitting the ground is hard
JOSH STERN Don't take me under your wing and tell me that scent is duck sauce
JOSH STERN If you don't fall down now and again, it just means the training wheels are working
JOSH STERN It's one thing if your hobby is to put ships inside a bottle, but a deer in the headlights!... That'...
JOSH STERN There is truth in wine, but you never see it listed in the ingredients on the label
JOSH STERN Women are aroused by the strangest things, like a rock going through their bedroom window
JOSH STERN If you can't beat them, conjoin them
JOSH STERN It happens a lot in the middle innings because it's the second time through the lineup and everybody...
JOSH STERN It's always tough to overcome something like that, but the bottom line is we have to hit and score r...
JOSH STERN We have just been struggling to put runs on the board and the only thing that has been keeping us in...
JOSH STERN Some people try to climb the ladder of success, while others try to jump on it
JOSH STERN If life is a bowl of cherries, what's inside of it?
JOSH STERN Even in our deep ocean, there are ecosystems at work with no light whatsoever down in the deepest po...
ALAN STERN After 'The Wonder Years,' I ended up having a voiceover career, which was something I never ...
DANIEL STERN We'll be like kids in a candy shop.
ALAN STERN I ... was not comfortable with launching without backup power. I've been working on this for 17 year...
ALAN STERN We really expect the mission to be transformational. This is the capstone of the original visits to ...
ALAN STERN This is the capstone of the initial reconnaissance of the planets, the first mission to the last pla...
ALAN STERN This is the capstone of the missions to the planets that NASA has led since the 1960s.
ALAN STERN It used to be said that Pluto is a misfit. But now we know Earth is the misfit. This is the most pop...
ALAN STERN It used to be that Pluto was a misfit. Now it turns out that Earth is the misfit. Most planets in th...
ALAN STERN It'll be the fastest spacecraft ever to Jupiter…13 months after launch....
ALAN STERN SWUIS operated flawlessly. We think we've got some great data in our pocket including some spectacul...
ALAN STERN This is in a real sense the capstone of the initial missions to explore the planets. Pluto, its moon...
ALAN STERN Everywhere in the world, music enhances a hall, with one exception: Carnegie Hall enhances the music...
ISAAC STERN I was really trying to anchor down the band. We should explore this new song, but we've got to have ...
AARON STERN A lot of his stuff was a lot slower, so there was a period of time where we were all worried. I was ...
AARON STERN This record is a showcase of where we've been over the past two years. We've done a lot of touring. ...
AARON STERN I think a lot of bands just, they sort of mark themselves as they can only go so far. They sort of s...
AARON STERN Kids live vicariously through the lyrics. They identify with them, feel like these are their stories...
AARON STERN What a huge game, just to play the USA, the powerhouse of baseball. We can play baseball, too. We're...
ADAM STERN That was a huge game to win, playing the U.S.. We (Canadians) can play baseball too, we're not just ...
ADAM STERN Any win in this tournament is huge and coming against the U.S., they have the most talent out there,...
ADAM STERN We like to tell everyone we can play baseball, too. We're not just a hockey country.
ADAM STERN It's just something that tightened up on me and hasn't let go. I'm hoping I can get someone to drop ...
ADAM STERN The 3D goldfish was quite a challenge for us, as it was required to behave in a photo-realistic mann...
ADAM STERN In the first half, we came out nervous. At half, I said 'come on guys, let's go.' We settled down an...
ADAM STERN You take us over the course of a long schedule and obviously we couldn't stick with (the Americans)....
ADAM STERN With these Olympics, I kind of miss it. Any kind of winter sport like that you wish you were good at...
ADAM STERN He kind of brushed it off.
ADAM STERN Man is a complex being; he makes the deserts bloom and lakes die.
GIL STERN I still feel like I gotta prove something. There are a lot of people hoping I fail. But I like that....
HOWARD STERN Experience is a comb that life gives you after you lose your hair.
JUDITH STERN It's ok for a man to commit adultery if his wife is ugly
HOWARD STERN A man possesses talent; genius possesses the man.
ISAAC STERN I would say the referees have the toughest game to call. I would say that there's a lot of offic...
DAVID STERN I am fourth-generation deaf, which means everyone in my immediate family is deaf. So I grew up alway...
SHOSHANNAH STERN One thing scientists do is to find order among a large number of facts, and one way to do that acros...
ALAN STERN Science is really about individual experts reaching a consensus.
ALAN STERN How is it that, in the face of overwhelming scientific evidence, there are still some who would deny...
NICHOLAS STERN I tend to think of Pluto and its moons as presents sitting under a Christmas tree. They're wrapp...
ALAN STERN I just think it's patently absurd for scientists to categorize objects on the basis of the numbe...
ALAN STERN Wal-Mart provides a chilling example of the damage that low-wage, nonunion corporations can wreak, a...
ANDREW STERN When you add physical requirements to jobs that don't need them, you begin to weed out a whole pool ...
ANDREW STERN In Washington, D.C., we are still living in the last century in an industrial revolution, ... India ...
ANDREW STERN I can't think of another entertainment sector that's systematically freezing out half the potential ...
ANDREW STERN For the protection of the country, nurses are being asked to risk their health in the line of duty, ...
ANDREW STERN I'm not a national security expert, I don't have access to that information, [but] I have to presume...
ANDREW STERN When we started, we viewed ourselves as faster, better, cheaper ... But what we've come to understan...
ANDREW STERN Today we begin to build a global union in very specific terms. In a global economy with global emplo...
ANDREW STERN It has no enforceable standards to stop a union from conspiring with employers to keep another stron...
ANDREW STERN And as it is set up today, I believe, sadly, it has no hope of uniting the 90 percent of workers who...
ANDREW STERN Not every decision you make is going to be 100 percent perfect, ... Overall, Christi [Hogin] has don...
ANDY STERN He comes with an enormous amount of good will. I mean, people have really seen him stand up in strik...
ANDY STERN We're a healthcare union. He's a doctor. He's delivered healthcare at the bedside, delivered it as g...
ANDY STERN In fact, he only registered as a Democrat four months ago, just weeks before entering the race.
ANDY STERN Let's be clear -- state employees and other voters in New Hampshire take a huge risk by supporting h...
ANDY STERN It is unfair to send [SEIU] members into the voting booth on primary day without giving them the inf...
ANDY STERN The world has changed. We can help shape the global economy, but ... the strength of unions is [not]...
ANDY STERN When we strengthen our cooperation and help workers in the same industry unite, everybody wins,
ANDY STERN [By pulling out of the AFL-CIO and proposing to start an organization, Stern and his Teamster ally J...
ANDY STERN The Democratic Party silence on Iraq is another moment of a voice lost. Faced with votes in favor of...
ANDY STERN We really just didn't realize the diversity of planetary types in our solar system. Pluto looked...
ALAN STERN I think it's important that people think about what they are doing and that includes what they a...
NICHOLAS STERN Pluto has strong atmospheric cycles: it snows on the surface; the snows sublimate and go back into t...
ALAN STERN I tell public audiences, don't go to a podiatrist for brain surgery; don't go to an astronom...
ALAN STERN Why would you listen to an astronomer about a planet?
ALAN STERN No one working as an astronomer is shackled in chains. This is a tremendous profession. There are lo...
ALAN STERN Most of the time, I get auditions for deaf characters where the scene has them communicating in real...
SHOSHANNAH STERN A river is a river, independent of whether there are other rivers nearby. In science, we call things...
ALAN STERN The only other thing I can really remember wanting to do besides acting was a gas station attendant....
DANIEL STERN I've actually apologized to some people I was a real jerk to, because I feel ashamed. I didn'...
HOWARD STERN Going to the Kuiper Belt is like an archaeological dig into the history of the solar system.
ALAN STERN The question is always 'What is the role of a labor movement?' How much is about collective ...
ANDY STERN We run enormous risks and we know what kind of reductions of greenhouse gases are necessary to drast...
NICHOLAS STERN Republicans have been very successful. There are three things Americans don't like: big unions, ...
ANDY STERN Our elections are free - it's in the results where eventually we pay.
BILL STERN I’m no expert, no natural-born talent, definitely no guru. As you’ll soon learn, only through a ...
DANIEL STERN You will ultimately be defined by the sum total of your responses to circumstances, situations and e...
DAVID STERN During one of the Apollo missions, I saw Walter Cronkite showing off the flight plan. It just mesmer...
ALAN STERN The Ports Authority opposes this bill. It interferes with, and is inconsistent with, the Supreme Cou...
BILL STERN I grew up in South Carolina. There are a lot of things about state government that we're not proud o...
BILL STERN The only argument I keep hearing is you don't have the dollars to expand. Well, I'm addressing that....
BILL STERN Daniel Island will be disposed of as the governor has asked us to do.
BILL STERN Edith was at the forefront of the move to modernist design that influenced architecture and furnitur...
BILL STERN Our elections are free--it's in the results where eventually we pay.
BILL STERN The Supreme Court made it clear that the authority gets the first shot at the land. With their decis...
BILL STERN The port business is capacity. You've got to be able to serve your customer base today and future cu...
BILL STERN Now it's time to change the perception that we don't want to work with the town.
BILL STERN The decision speaks for itself and we're moving forward with condemnation. The interpretation is tha...
BILL STERN Our elections are free, it's in the results where eventually we pay.
BILL STERN You really feel for them. The volunteers talk about their own personal experiences of being oppresse...
BOB STERN free and democratic Iraq.
BOB STERN It's not appropriate for City Hall to be used for private business. It seems the better part of valo...
BOB STERN We need disclosure as to who is funding the Protocol Foundation,
BOB STERN I would give odds that something would pass but it wouldn't shock me if they failed to agree. This i...
BOB STERN He told us there were three N's of obesity. Nintendo. Netscape. And Nickelodeon.
BOB STERN [The governor didn't pitch political reform] with his fingers crossed behind his back, ... But polit...
BOB STERN It's much more important to raise money to defeat (Prop. 77) than it is to raise money for their own...
BOB STERN When donors have wealthy relatives, that enhances the value of the donation. A candidate loves to kn...
BOB STERN It always raises questions when someone goes from one side to the other. One of the questions that c...
BOB STERN It was the Michael Jordan/Nike phenomenon that really let people see that athletes were OK, and blac...
DAVID STERN I like the planets because they are real places that you can go to and send machines to. Faraway ast...
ALAN STERN The basic story for Golden Spike is that we discovered a way to create do-it-yourself Apollo program...
ALAN STERN In science, we take large numbers of disparate facts and reduce them to see patterns. We use the pat...
ALAN STERN If you look at all the serious scientists in the world, there is no big disagreement on the basics o...
NICHOLAS STERN If coal is going to be used, the only response - because it is the dirtiest of all fuels - is that w...
NICHOLAS STERN I would say that workers in general, and white workers particularly, are correct that their economic...
ANDY STERN I feel I should defer to the writers and the directors because they're the ones who have the com...
SHOSHANNAH STERN The costs of badly-run NASA projects are paid for with cutbacks or delays in NASA projects that didn...
ALAN STERN Just because Pluto orbits with many other dwarf planets doesn't change what it is, just as wheth...
ALAN STERN There are more bad musicians than there is bad music.
ISAAC STERN Our elections are free -- it's in the results where eventually we pay.
BILL STERN Some people's lives seem to flow in a narrative; mine had many stops and starts. That's what trauma ...
JESSICA STERN Meat is a wasteful use of water and creates a lot of greenhouse gases. It puts enormous pressure on ...
NICHOLAS STERN What we came up with is a dress code that even Mark Cuban could comply with - if he wanted to.
DAVID STERN Okay, well, I guess I'm still a kid. Because when I get really angry and fired up and I feel lik...
HOWARD STERN The basic scientific conclusions on climate change are very robust and for good reason. The greenhou...
NICHOLAS STERN Pluto is still active four and a half billion years into its history. It was expected that small pla...
ALAN STERN There are different uniforms for different occasions. There's the uniform you wear on the court, the...
DAVID STERN It's interesting - Pluto's almost a brand unto itself. It's the farthest. It's the m...
ALAN STERN Distributed file systems are a cruel hoax.
ZALMAN STERN How do we take the different assets that different unions bring to the table and use them strategica...
ANDY STERN It's now our job to be good stewards of the spacecraft. and to learn to fly it in the real environme...
ALAN STERN The air conditioning was off. The flight controllers were sitting there wiping sweat.
ALAN STERN Two or three days doesn't mean a hill of beans.
ALAN STERN It'll be the fastest spacecraft ever to Jupiter…13 months after launch. We pass the Moon in just n...
ALAN STERN The big lesson of planetary science is when you do a first reconnaissance of a new kind of object, y...
ALAN STERN Just as a Chihuahua is still a dog, these ice dwarfs are still planetary bodies. The misfit becomes ...
ALAN STERN The Kuiper Belt is the largest structure in the solar system. We used to think Pluto was a misfit.
ALAN STERN We're very excited about launching our third annual edition. It's amazing how much the Venture Capit...
MICHAEL STERN Psychoanalysis shows the human infant as the passive recipient of love, unable to bear hostility. De...
KARL STERN This isn't campaign money — it's government access money, and that's what we should call it. If yo...
BOB STERN Nobody is minding the store. If you don't have any agency monitoring and no enforcement, people thin...
BOB STERN That is a very Republican district.
BOB STERN Writing on assignment, with lots of money handed to you before you even began, got very scary for me...
STEWART STERN If you're just talking to rich people, you're probably not going to hear a lot about health care for...
BOB STERN I seem to be some sort of lightning rod. I just really irritate people, you know? I really do.
HOWARD STERN I expect New Horizons will see more that Hubble cannot see.
ALAN STERN I don't think there's one thing I've ever said on the radio that would have been found i...
HOWARD STERN To keep everyone invested in your vision, you have to back up a little bit and really analyze who th...
ALAN STERN There was a time when Pluto - which NASA's New Horizons spacecraft at last explored in 2015, a m...
ALAN STERN When we first sent missions to Jupiter, no one expected to find moons that would have active volcano...
ALAN STERN The first mission to Mars did not expect to find craters and river valleys, and yet they did. The fi...
ALAN STERN Just because Pluto or comets aren't as big as Jupiter doesn't mean they are not scientifical...
ALAN STERN The air conditioning was off. The flight controllers were sitting there wiping sweat. If they were d...
ALAN STERN