We don't know where they're from. We don't know what the demographics are. We've prepared for everything.

You have to understand, I can't do any jokes about Ross Perot, because the last thing I need right now is another credit check.

Eventually, we're going to have beds.

All the problems we face in the United States today can be traced to an unenlightened immigration policy on the part of the American Indian

I'd learned some things. I knew you weren't supposed to hold a good wine at the top - the paper bag falls off.

I read an article that said one in five Americans thinks Elvis is alive. I want to find those morons and get them registered to vote for me.