What did the dog say after walking in the desert for hours? If I don't find a tree soon I'm gonna pee on myself.

If aliens saw us walking our dogs and picking up their poop, who would they think is in charge?

How does the healthy dog bark? Ruff Ruff.
How does the cold dog bark ? Scarf Scarf.
How does the confused dog bark? Wutf? Wutf?

To a dog, a fire hydrant under maintenance is like a bathroom that's out of service.

Two fleas are coming out of a bar when one asks the other 'Do we take a dog or do we walk home?'

Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing, right in your ear.