How does the healthy dog bark? Ruff Ruff.
How does the cold dog bark ? Scarf Scarf.
How does the confused dog bark? Wutf? Wutf?

What did the dog say after walking in the desert for hours? If I don't find a tree soon I'm gonna pee on myself.

If aliens saw us walking our dogs and picking up their poop, who would they think is in charge?

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

What you call dog with no legs?
Don't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.

Don’t ever underestimate the importance of money. I know it’s often been said that money won’t make you happy and this is undeniably true, but everything else being equal, it’s a lovely thing to have around the house.