Without the laughs, the audience wouldn't be there at all, so in that sense, yes, I am a comedian.

Without the laughs, the audience wouldn’t be there at all, so in that sense, yes, I am a comedian,

If I get big laughs, I'm a comedian. If I get little laughs, I'm a humorist. If I get no laughs, I'm a singer.

What do they call a comedian who doesn't get any laughs? A philosopher

Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we need are ovations where the audience members all punch and kick one another.

Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.