Woman's dearest delight is to wound Man's self-conceit, though Man's dearest delight is to gratify hers

A woman can forgive a man for the harm he does her, but she can never forgive him for the sacrifices he makes on her account

Of the two lots, the woman's lot of perpetual motherhood, and the man's of perpetual babyhood, I prefer the man's

The most important thing in a relationship between a man and a woman is that one of them must be good at taking orders

It is a woman's business to get married as soon as possible, and a man's to keep unmarried as long as possible

Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman - or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.