You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be led.

A horse may be coaxed to drink, but a pencil must be lead

If you had a face like mine, you'd punch me right on the nose, and I'm just the fella to do it.

A friend once asked me what comedy was. That floored me. What is comedy? I don't know. Does anybody? Can you define it? All I know is that I learned how to get laughs, and that's all I know about it. You have to learn what people will laugh at, then proceed accordingly.

You can lead a horse to water and you can even make it drink, but you can't make actresses wear what they don't want to wear.

Personally, I think the silent films were more effective for L&H, but the sound was of great value in enhancing the effects - dialog eliminated a lot of action & sight gags - I always feel that 'action' speaks louder than words.