FastSaying

Certainly, the Beach Boys and the early Beatles records were a huge influence on me lyrically.


Rivers Cuomo

  Email Quote to Friends   Link to Quote   Create Short URL  Publish Text About This Quote   Share on Facebook, Twitter, and more
  See Recommended Quotes For You

Related

I think between The Beach Boys, The Beatles, The Rolling Stones and innumerable acts after that... r...
MIKE LOVE I grew up on oldies like the Beatles and the Beach Boys, Led Zeppelin and The Who.
DRAKE BELL I was a Beach Boys guy, but I was won over. In '64, as the radio stations were creating this due...
RON HOWARD The Beach Boys already had about four or five albums under our belt when these newcomers, The Beatle...
MIKE LOVE I like to open for a band as it brings on sort of a challenge and it makes things more interesting. ...
KELLY JONES Growing up, I was inspired by The Beatles and Bob Dylan. Damian Rice was a huge influence for me mus...
ED SHEERAN The name 'The Beach Boys' is controlled by Brother Records Inc., which was founded by the or...
MIKE LOVE The Beach Boys have always been a part of the '60s spectrum, with The Beatles and that kind of t...
BRIAN WILSON We came from the '60s era, when we started and made so many hits. The song value from the '6...
MIKE LOVE By 1968, both The Beatles and The Beach Boys had plenty of fame - we were looking for something deep...
MIKE LOVE I love the Sex Pistols. I'm a big Beach Boys fan and a huge Zeppelin and Queen fan.
BRUNO MARS It was my love for the guitar that first got me into music and singing. Growing up, I was inspired b...
ED SHEERAN The only way he could have her was to shatter this stubborn faith of hers. In doing so, would he sha...
FRANCINE RIVERS My father was a huge influence on me.
CAROL LEIFER If I provide for this life and turn away from the Lord, I am wise for a moment, but lost forever.
FRANCINE RIVERS The only way he could have her was to shatter this stubborn faith of hers. In doing so, would he sha...
FRANCINE RIVERS Bowie's been a huge influence on me.
ADAM LAMBERT People such as Hunter S. Thompson and the Beats were a huge influence on me, not just in what they w...
COREY TAYLOR In their matching candy-stripe shirts, the Beach Boys were America's biggest band of the early &...
STEVE ERICKSON I hope fans will go back and listen to the Beatles and the Beach Boys or Led Zeppelin, or put on ...
DRAKE BELL He became the first member of a major pop group to win creative control of the records, ... He was t...
DAVID LEAF Barry White, Smokey Robinson and Curtis Mayfield are big influences for me. But I'm also a metal...
MAYER HAWTHORNE I have this theory. If you think about almost any given moment in life, there is a Beatles song that...
PENELOPE WARD First single. Fucking brilliant. Perhaps the most fucking brilliant song ever written. Because they ...
DAVID LEVITHAN Lady Madonna lying on the bed
Listen to the music playing in your head.
PAUL MCCARTNEY But actually the Nashville market is far more interesting, certainly lyrically, for me now than the ...
CYNTHIA WEIL She's leaving home after living alone for so many years.
THE BEATLES Please don't wake me, no don't shake me, leave me where I am, I'm only sleeping
THE BEATLES Day In the Life
THE BEATLES But tomorrow may rain, so I'll follow the sun
THE BEATLES Hey Jude, don't make it bad, take a sad song and make it better.
THE BEATLES Alice's Restaurant Massacre.
THE BEATLES Til I Can Make It on My Own.
THE BEATLES the minute I didn't feel it, I stopped.
THE BEATLES Who knows how long I've loved you, you know I love you still. Will I wait a lonely lifetime? If you ...
THE BEATLES For I don't care too much for money, / For money can't buy me love.
THE BEATLES All the lonely people, where do they all come from? / All the lonely people, where do they all belon...
THE BEATLES Fads don't last, but it should be clear by now that the Beatles are no ordinary fad.
THE BEATLES as many lost tracks as I could dig up. I found them everywhere: in my dresser, in my suitcases, my k...
THE BEATLES Yesterday our troubles seemed so far away, I believe in yesterday.
THE BEATLES [In A Twist of Lennon, Cynthia was reluctant to speak ill of anyone, even Yoko, whom she did not bla...
THE BEATLES She Loves You.
THE BEATLES Favorite Things.
THE BEATLES I saw her standing there.
THE BEATLES Nowadays people just stand there watching. It's definitely quieter, almost respectful. And as you pl...
THE BEATLES Imagine.
THE BEATLES Obviously there is some disappointment from some of the crew about leaving Kings Bay,
THE BEATLES colorful, uplifting, lightning quick, music-filled evening of theatre dedicated to revolutionary Ame...
THE BEATLES Everyone worked very hard on this. I'm very comfortable with everything.
THE BEATLES Now we are both in this, both losing our mothers,
THE BEATLES John was very human and sometimes in the middle of the night he would say, 'Are you awake ?' and I w...
THE BEATLES No, I didn't worry. But it was worth it.
THE BEATLES I remember thinking back to The Beatles years. I tend to remember them as glorious and golden, but t...
THE BEATLES I mean, this is like, real.
THE BEATLES I was in Europe a little while ago, and USA TODAY ran this item about how I was washing bike shorts ...
THE BEATLES The production group told me he tried to leave the hospital twice because he'd never missed a show b...
THE BEATLES I think it was.
THE BEATLES [And Wilson won, by many estimates. His masterpiece concept album] Pet Sounds ... Sgt. Pepper's Lone...
THE BEATLES True Love Ways.
THE BEATLES Not to mince words, Mr Epstein, we don't like your boys' sound. Groups of guitarists are on the way ...
THE BEATLES The love you take is equal to the love you make.
THE BEATLES Life goes on, brah!
THE BEATLES But of all these friends and lovers There is no one compares with you. And these memories lose their...
THE BEATLES I'll buy you a diamond ring, my friend If it makes you feel alright
THE BEATLES Life goes on within you and without you
THE BEATLES Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.
THE BEATLES Life is very short and there's no time, for fussing and fighting my friend. I have always thought th...
THE BEATLES And in the end, the love we take will be equal to the love we make.
THE BEATLES To every word of love I heard you whisper, the raindrops seem to play a sweet refrain.
THE BEATLES fitting and more permanent form of tribute.
THE BEATLES Beauty's Release
THE BEATLES The Beatles in 1963 weren't the same Beatles as they were in 1966.
THE BEATLES I had spent much of my previous years completely enveloped in Coltrane and Bartok and really heavy, ...
THE BEATLES Girl.
THE BEATLES with such wit, perception, insight, charm, cleverness and charisma
THE BEATLES Chaos And Creation In The Back Yard,
THE BEATLES I ride motorbikes, ... Your father inspired me... my wife's letting me buy an ST1100 tomorrow.
THE BEATLES Yesterday.
THE BEATLES The film shows the director's consistent strength, (has an) uncompromising story and superb acting,
THE BEATLES The Ed Sullivan Show.
THE BEATLES The world is still spinning and so are we and so are you. When the spinning stops--that'll be the ti...
THE BEATLES I'm happy with my lifestyle, ... I don't have time to reflect on [it].
THE BEATLES Tainted Love.
THE BEATLES Don't you think you'll be getting in the way?
THE BEATLES [The more conservative Daily Telegraph said,] Rooney does it again for England, ... Inspired, untouc...
THE BEATLES For well you know that it's a fool, Who plays it cool, By making his world, A little colder
THE BEATLES i know i'll often stop and think about them // in my life i love you more
THE BEATLES I believe in yesterday
THE BEATLES But tomorrow my rain, so I'll follow the sun
THE BEATLES I get by with a little help from my friends
THE BEATLES And in the end, the love you take, is equal to the love you make...
THE BEATLES And in the end
the love you take
is equal to
the love you make
THE BEATLES Let it be.
THE BEATLES Before I joined The Beach Boys, I was working at Columbia Records as a producer, and saw The Byrds c...
BRUCE JOHNSTON Mother Superior jump the gun...
-The Beatles, Happiness is a Warm Gun
LAUREN MYRACLE Music was massive from an early age. My parents were huge music fans, especially soul, and they play...
BRONAGH GALLAGHER This is a huge win especially for the boys. The girls, we were rooting for them also, but this is a ...
ALISON BELL Fellini was a little lofty for a teenage boy, but certainly he was a huge influence.
JOHN WATERS I just got exposed to electronica, and I really liked it. I am also good with alternative rock. I li...
ANUSHKA SHARMA Somebody said to me, 'But the Beatles were anti-materialistic.' That's a huge myth. John and I liter...
PAUL MCCARTNEY

More Rivers Cuomo

I really want to disappear, grow a beard, not talk to anyone, not make any friends... I just want to...
RIVERS CUOMO I think if I wasn't a musician, I would be a high-school band director or orchestra director. I ...
RIVERS CUOMO I meditate an hour in the morning and an hour in the evening. Once a year I go away for a long retre...
RIVERS CUOMO Even at your best, the creative moments are still kind of fleeting.
RIVERS CUOMO I have some good books of Bach keyboard music transcribed for guitar, and there's always a nylon...
RIVERS CUOMO I decided to try celibacy because I heard it would help the meditation, and I tried meditation becau...
RIVERS CUOMO When I was 15 and dreaming about being a rock star... I thought the whole point of it was to get chi...
RIVERS CUOMO Cat Stevens' music, voice, and energy made me feel so secure. He sounded different from some of ...
RIVERS CUOMO I always like balance. If I'm playing rock music all the time, chances are I'll start cravin...
RIVERS CUOMO I have a natural instinct to feel guilty and that I've let people down. I've apologized in m...
RIVERS CUOMO I think probably with any performer, but maybe with rock music especially, the audience wants to see...
RIVERS CUOMO The most nerve-wracking experience is an oral presentation in class. And right under that would be d...
RIVERS CUOMO I was fixated on Prince's 'Black Album' for a long time.
RIVERS CUOMO I'm just living each day, and I'm better equipped to do so. I mean, I used to be totally afr...
RIVERS CUOMO Rock and Roll Over' was the first Kiss album I heard, but I was totally oblivious to their whole...
RIVERS CUOMO I think I'm a good dad. It's hard. Ultimately, it's our kids that have the final word. S...
RIVERS CUOMO I really don't need to suffer. I can really become a happy person and still make good music - in...
RIVERS CUOMO I like to get input from all different kinds of listeners, including the really conservative ones, a...
RIVERS CUOMO I signed up for eHarmony once, and it took three hours to fill out that online form - so many person...
RIVERS CUOMO I think audiences sometimes mistakenly assume a quality performance comes from some great emotional ...
RIVERS CUOMO It didn't go smoothly; it was the most contentious thing I've ever done.
RIVERS CUOMO I don't know what next year will bring. I have no idea. I can tell you I have a lot of ideas for son...
RIVERS CUOMO It's up in the air, ... But in my mind, it's up in the air for every artist. Who knows, really, if t...
RIVERS CUOMO I found that so many people in the music business started out as metalheads in the Eighties - whethe...
RIVERS CUOMO Being in Weezer's just gotten so much more fun over the years. I love almost every part of my jo...
RIVERS CUOMO Miley Cyrus' 'Party in the USA' kills me with jealousy. The melodies are out-of-control ...
RIVERS CUOMO It's been two and a-half years now, actually. The vow is over, but I wanted to keep cruising.
RIVERS CUOMO At 18, I moved to L.A. with my heavy metal band Avant Garde, which was very much influenced by Metal...
RIVERS CUOMO I wouldn't say that I relax and enjoy anything. But I think my pessimism helps. I never really e...
RIVERS CUOMO I just gotta keep reminding myself: Every time I do an interview or something, my volition really ha...
RIVERS CUOMO I just went to the hobby shop and got an electricity kit and a chemistry kit, and I'm really exc...
RIVERS CUOMO I believe we need to attract a new generation of the best and brightest to public service and I beli...
ANDREW CUOMO I love bunt plays. I love the idea of the bunt. I love the idea of the sacrifice. Even the word is g...
MARIO CUOMO You want calamities? What about the Ice Age?
MARIO CUOMO New York State is upside down and backwards; high taxes and low performance. The New York State gove...
ANDREW CUOMO You campaign in poetry. You govern in prose.
MARIO CUOMO I watched a small man with thick calluses on both hands work fifteen and sixteen hours a day. I saw ...
MARIO CUOMO I talk and talk and talk, and I haven't taught people in 50 years what my father taught by example i...
MARIO CUOMO The biggest aggravation in the Arab world, the biggest reason for their anger toward us and the crea...
MARIO CUOMO If you can manipulate news, a judge can manipulate the law. A smart lawyer can keep a killer out of ...
MARIO CUOMO I believe that 'advocacy journalism' is not an oxymoron. If that means that I'm going to...
CHRIS CUOMO My favorite thought about Abraham Lincoln is he believed in two things: loving one another and worki...
MARIO CUOMO There are few things more amusing in the world of politics than watching moderate Republicans chargi...
MARIO CUOMO I worked in the Clinton administration.
ANDREW CUOMO When we give people the help they need, it works,
ANDREW CUOMO The senior advisers to the president would recommend a veto on this bill, ... My voice would join th...
ANDREW CUOMO She was a heroine who should be treated decently,
ANDREW CUOMO If you're a friend to the working people of New York, and you're a friend to the labor movement, the...
ANDREW CUOMO Eleven states and the District of Columbia have a higher minimum wage than we have here in New York,...
ANDREW CUOMO He would be proud with the progress, because we have come far. But he would point to how far we stil...
ANDREW CUOMO If companies know we're going to enforce the law, you'll see more compliance. And $6.5 billion says ...
ANDREW CUOMO showed good business judgment, knowing that these continued lawsuits would be the untimely death of ...
ANDREW CUOMO When you start to have one or two homes to come back, it starts to develop an energy in the communit...
ANDREW CUOMO There was never a war on poverty. Maybe there was a skirmish on poverty.
ANDREW CUOMO In 1962, President Kennedy succeeded in captivating Americans by explaining the advantages of being ...
MARIO CUOMO Partnering is the air we need to breathe. A large network of strategic alliances built from customer...
ANDREA CUOMO We will provide 3G (third generation) solutions to customers, directly or indirectly, this year.
ANDREA CUOMO We expect 2007 to be a better year than 2006.
ANDREA CUOMO Pure selling was never an option.
ANDREA CUOMO There have been many talks between many companies ... The reason why nothing has happened so far is ...
ANDREA CUOMO I believe public education is the new civil rights battle and I support charter schools.
ANDREW CUOMO Every time I've done something that doesn't feel right, it's ended up not being right.
MARIO CUOMO I've been not only articulating the dissatisfaction with Albany, I've been acting on it. I&#...
ANDREW CUOMO No one in the modern history of this country, no president, has done more to move toward a balanced ...
MARIO CUOMO Lincoln had bad press, too. He wasn't appreciated until after he was gone.
MARIO CUOMO I'm sort of the Antichrist to the Conservative Party.
ANDREW CUOMO A lot of my stories about the old days, they're delicious and funny. But every time I recall the...
MARIO CUOMO We must get the American public to look past the glitter, beyond the showmanship, to the reality, th...
MARIO CUOMO The beauty of America is that I don't have to deny my past to affirm my present. No one does. We...
MARIO CUOMO Too often government responds to the whispers of lobbyists before the cries of the people.
ANDREW CUOMO There is no dispute that Albany needs to be changed. There is no dispute that the current situation ...
ANDREW CUOMO ISIL is saying to a disenfranchised population, 'Come join us. Fight the good fight.' I thin...
ANDREW CUOMO In 1980, in 1984, millions of middle-class Democrats became Reagan Democrats, and more of them drift...
MARIO CUOMO America was born in outrageous ambition, so bold as to be improbable. The deprived, the oppressed, t...
MARIO CUOMO Whether you voted for me or not, going through the Democratic process had made me a better candidate...
ANDREW CUOMO The essential job of government is to facilitate, not frustrate, job development.
ANDREW CUOMO I am fiscally prudent and socially progressive. I believe in protecting a woman's right to choos...
ANDREW CUOMO Flooding damage is not customary for New York, especially downstate.
ANDREW CUOMO Andrew's lawyer contacted Andrew's accountant, it was clarified and a full payment was wired immedia...
ANDREW CUOMO I believe it is actually fomenting the growth of ISIL; Donald Trump could be a recruitment poster fo...
ANDREW CUOMO Climate change is a controversial subject, right? People will debate whether there is climate change...
ANDREW CUOMO Fear is a powerful weapon. It can excite and motivate, and it can get people to yell and to scream. ...
ANDREW CUOMO We have a system of jurisprudence. You are innocent until proven guilty. You have a right to counsel...
ANDREW CUOMO Ninety percent of the students take the 'preferred lender.' Why? Because that's the natu...
ANDREW CUOMO You can be a lender who wants to compete and have a better product, but you just can't get to th...
ANDREW CUOMO Seventy-six percent that received services moved out of homelessness into permanent housing, into pr...
ANDREW CUOMO There are 10,000 local governments in the state of New York. Ten thousand! Town, village, lighting d...
ANDREW CUOMO When you become president, they don't give you a magic wand that you wave. You have to get legis...
ANDREW CUOMO I had not even thought of running for president until one day in 1991, at a small fund-raiser, compl...
MARIO CUOMO Marriage equality changed life for people.
ANDREW CUOMO I will take a draft to the Yankees or to the Mets. A draft for president is not conceivable.
MARIO CUOMO If you go from $7 to $15 in a very short period of time, potentially that could have a negative effe...
ANDREW CUOMO It's time for the people of the Empire State to strike back.
ANDREW CUOMO The time has come to return integrity, performance and dignity to New York and make it the Empire St...
ANDREW CUOMO Separate and Very Unequal
ANDREW CUOMO If mortgage brokers have nothing to hide, they have nothing to lose by signing this contract. If the...
ANDREW CUOMO I told them that my grandfather had died in the Great Crash of 1929 - a stockbroker jumped out of a ...
MARIO CUOMO The price of seeking to force our beliefs on others is that someday they might force their beliefs o...
MARIO CUOMO I am a trial lawyer. Matilda says that at dinner on a good day I sound like an affidavit.
MARIO CUOMO The mugger who is arrested is back on the street before the police officer, but the person mugged ma...
MARIO CUOMO People expect Byzantine, Machiavellian logic from politicians. But the truth is simple. Trial lawyer...
MARIO CUOMO We must get the American public to look past the glitter, beyond the showmanship, to the reality, th...
MARIO CUOMO Yeah. Just think, if I had been there the speeches would have gone on even longer. Maybe two hours!
MARIO CUOMO New York thrives because of the hardworking men and women who labor each and every day. They deserve...
ANDREW CUOMO The Declaration of Independence says when government fails, the people have the right to replace it....
ANDREW CUOMO I was badly mauled by people in New York State for being against the death penalty for 12 years.
MARIO CUOMO When you've parked the second car in the garage, and installed the hot tub, and skied in Colorado, a...
MARIO CUOMO You just want to win by one. To win by over 50 percent is especially gratifying.
ANDREW CUOMO I believe global warming and climate change are real threats to our planet.
ANDREW CUOMO There's something about rhetorical violence that is ugly and worrying.
MARIO CUOMO I think there's a lot to learn from Rockefeller on how to pass legislation.
ANDREW CUOMO David Robinson chose to stay at Navy. He talked about commitment, loyalty and values. I wonder how m...
MARIO CUOMO Very few people go into politics to be reviled.
ANDREW CUOMO The Catholic teaching against murder, for example, is largely the same as our secular laws. But as a...
MARIO CUOMO I have no quarrel with people seeing me as a sinner.
MARIO CUOMO If there's a silver bullet in the battle to recapture Albany, it is the re-engagement of our cit...
ANDREW CUOMO I believe women still face a glass ceiling that must be shattered.
ANDREW CUOMO Oh yes, Ed prefers to think he beat himself rather than somebody else beating him. He thanked me for...
MARIO CUOMO I have no plans, and no plans to plan.
MARIO CUOMO I am one who believes that the world goes from the slime to the sublime. And you can take Darwin and...
MARIO CUOMO As my Sicilian grandfather used to say, you get more flies with honey than with vinegar, right?
ANDREW CUOMO I was never looking to be popular. The trade-off for me in seeking other people's opinions is th...
CHRIS CUOMO My mother loved entertaining, and I've followed suit, so we have big celebrations for New Year, ...
JOAN RIVERS I have made that one of my policies never to play anything that I've already put on record.
SAM RIVERS Well I'm a third-generation musician. My Grandfather's a musician and my father and mother w...
SAM RIVERS I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking.
JOAN RIVERS Forty for you, sixty for me. And equal partners we will be.
JOAN RIVERS Being Jewish has always been important to me. I now have 6M tattooed on the inside of my left arm. I...
JOAN RIVERS I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I'd look like without plastic surgery.
JOAN RIVERS I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, 'Get the hell off my property...
JOAN RIVERS I was smart enough to go through any door that opened.
JOAN RIVERS I have no methods; all I do is accept people as they are.
JOAN RIVERS Is Elizabeth Taylor fat? Her favorite food is seconds.
JOAN RIVERS I'm always shocked when I get an invitation. People are always shocked when they see me at a par...
JOAN RIVERS Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God's gift, that's why we call it the ...
JOAN RIVERS I've had so much plastic surgery, when I die they will donate my body to Tupperware.
JOAN RIVERS Life goes by fast. Enjoy it. Calm down. It's all funny. Next. Everyone gets so upset about the w...
JOAN RIVERS I enjoy life when things are happening. I don't care if it's good things or bad things. That...
JOAN RIVERS The great musicians are those who can reach people, who can make people feel something.
SAM RIVERS The first thing you do when you get out to center field is put up your finger and check the wind chi...
MICKEY RIVERS I guess I've always liked the idea of being an artist.
LARRY RIVERS I spent seven months in Africa and came back saying there isn't anything you can say about black...
LARRY RIVERS Any art communicates what you're in the mood to receive.
LARRY RIVERS I believe that any art communicates what you're in the mood to receive.
LARRY RIVERS I was not an attractive child. When I didn't use my Girl Scouts uniform as a uniform, I used it ...
JOAN RIVERS We'll do all right if we can capitalize on our mistakes.
MICKEY RIVERS My favorite book is 'Redeeming Love.' It was my first as a born-again Christian, my statemen...
FRANCINE RIVERS Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can ...
JOAN RIVERS Leaving the group, he reclined on a couch, drank morosely, and watched people. He noticed the games ...
FRANCINE RIVERS A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she's a...
JOAN RIVERS Stand firm in the Lord. Stand firm and let Him fight your battle. Do not try to fight alone.
FRANCINE RIVERS Unless we have something worth dying for, Atretes, we've nothing worth living for.
FRANCINE RIVERS My routines come out of total unhappiness. My audiences are my group therapy.
JOAN RIVERS There is not one female comic who was beautiful as a little girl.
JOAN RIVERS Can we talk?
JOAN RIVERS I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes -- and six months later you have to start all...
JOAN RIVERS My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.
JOAN RIVERS I don't excercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor.
JOAN RIVERS My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the cord. For a year that kid f...
JOAN RIVERS I don't excercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor.
JOAN RIVERS I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds ...
JOAN RIVERS I had a friend who was a plastic surgeon, so he would do little things. I never had, like, a full th...
JOAN RIVERS Acting is my true love. I would like to have been a serious actor, and I plan to in the next life. I...
JOAN RIVERS Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and ...
JOAN RIVERS The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.
JOAN RIVERS Diets, like clothes, should be tailored to you.
JOAN RIVERS I became a Christian late, in my late 30s, so I had a lot of things that I was bringing into my Chri...
FRANCINE RIVERS We'll do all right if we can capitalize on our mistakes.
MICKEY RIVERS Reading should be a pleasure, not a chore.
JOAN RIVERS I'm grateful for every day I'm still alive. Everything is still working. I attribute it to e...
JOAN RIVERS I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
JOAN RIVERS Comedy is a very rough beat. It's no holds barred, as it should be.
JOAN RIVERS I adore my apartment in New York. It was a ballroom that I remade, so it's like a loft but done ...
JOAN RIVERS The web site and the Internet are a whole new ball game.
JOHNNY RIVERS Part of my act is meant to shake you up. It looks like I'm being funny, but I'm reminding yo...
JOAN RIVERS I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all ov...
JOAN RIVERS I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was 'the man goes on top and the woman u...
JOAN RIVERS I caused my husband's heart attack. In the middle of lovemaking I took the paper bag off my head. He...
JOAN RIVERS With plastic surgery, the general anesthetic is like a black-velvety sleep, and that's what deat...
JOAN RIVERS My husband wanted to be cremated. I told him I'd scatter his ashes at Neiman Marcus - that way, ...
JOAN RIVERS The Lord will provide.
FRANCINE RIVERS All my way through college, I worked my way as a window dresser for Lord & Taylor, so I always l...
JOAN RIVERS Elizabeth Taylor has more chins than the Chinese telephone directory.
JOAN RIVERS Every comedian is furious. Age makes me angry. I'm unhappy at not being able to open packages an...
JOAN RIVERS I felt alone out there, like I was on a desert island. I felt like Gilligan.
MICKEY RIVERS Me and George and Billy are two of a kind. (on his relationship with George Steinbrenner and Billy M...
MICKEY RIVERS People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, ...
JOAN RIVERS The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.
JOAN RIVERS Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God's gift, that's why we call it the present.
JOAN RIVERS I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I'd look like without plastic surgery.
JOAN RIVERS Anger is a symptom, a way of cloaking and expressing feelings too awful to experience directly — h...
JOAN RIVERS These guys are so old they're eligible for meals on wheels.
MICKEY RIVERS He came at me but he got the wrong chicken,
JOAN RIVERS It's been so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who ties up whom.
JOAN RIVERS I just want to know. Who got all the jewelry?
JOAN RIVERS The nice thing about Viagra is that they are proving men can go blind on it, so you can gain weight ...
JOAN RIVERS I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was 'the man goes on top and the woman under...
JOAN RIVERS After we made love he took a piece of chalk and made an outline of my body.
JOAN RIVERS I was not a pretty child. I developed humor to be accepted.
JOAN RIVERS And then my dog came and sat in my lap. I knew I had to hang in there for Spike.
JOAN RIVERS