Accept who you are. Unless you're a serial killer.


Ellen DeGeneres

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The Ellen DeGeneres Show.
ADRIEN BRODY
Procrastination is not the problem. It is the solution.

Procrastinate now, don’t put it...
ELLEN DEGENERES
I think Ellen DeGeneres is just hysterical.
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Who knows, it could have been Hillary Clinton herself, doing a Freudian slip during a commercial bre...
BRIAN DONAHUE
Who knows, it could have been Hillary Clinton herself, doing a Freudian slip during a commercial bre...
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You either become a cop or a serial killer.
DEYTH BANGER
The mainstream needs Ellen DeGeneres and Rosie O'Donnell. The mainstream needs RuPaul.
BILLY EICHNER
Every step of the way, they've treated her like a serial killer for no reason -- a hardened serial k...
RUSSELL YATES
Every step of the way, they've treated her like a serial killer for no reason -- a hardened serial k...
ANDREA YATES
It's not being marketed as a gay show by a gay person. It's just Ellen DeGeneres.
KYAN DOUGLAS
Things will get easier, people's minds will change, and you should be alive to see it.
ELLEN DEGENERES
The Ellen DeGeneres show called, and they are interested in Ian. We didn't expect anything like that...
IAN GILCHRIST
Often, a serial killer has no felony record.
PAT BROWN
I am a serial killer. I would kill again.
AILEEN WUORNOS
I'm very concerned because of the serial killer. She was aware of that and she promised me that she ...
LINDA JOHNSON
What we've got here is a sexually sadistic pathological serial killer. And he is the scariest of the...
PAT BROWN
From all accounts, Ted Bundy had been a good looking and charming man. How many women had he tricked...
CHARITY PARKERSON
It doesn't escape him that the rock holding it up is the perfect fit for his fist. Or how easily one...
LAUREN BEUKES
We'll go see some theater, and we'll hang out and do some stuff there. We'll go to clubs, ... Ellen ...
ELLEN DEGENERES
Many fear it is the work of a serial killer.
TARIK MINOR
Last but not least among serial killer methodologies, we have women who kill their own children.
PAT BROWN
Most serial killers — and I do believe this was a serial-killing crime — are anger retaliatory k...
PAT BROWN
When I was a kid, Ellen DeGeneres and Rosie O'Donnell were mere blips on the gaydar; and they we...
BETH DITTO
We have entertained the idea we may be talking about a serial killer,
JESSICA BROWN
[• Ellen DeGeneres , who was praised for her graceful performance as host of the Emmy Awards that ...
ELLEN DEGENERES
the real-life tale of a serial killer known as the Zodiac Killer, who terrorized San Francisco for 2...
THE BROTHERS GRIMM
It has all the earmarks of a serial-killer abduction. Barring that she's one of the few people who r...
PAT BROWN
If the 1997 law cannot prevent the interment of a notorious serial killer, then what good is it? ......
LARRY CRAIG
When you incarcerate a serial killer, your crime rate goes down - the public is safer. When you inca...
DAVID JONES
He was willing to do whatever was required in order to be the serial killer that he was, ... He's li...
ROBERT MCCLURE
That's relatively old for a serial killer. What has this guy been doing for the last 10 or 15 years?
CLINTON VAN ZANDT
So far, the serial killer has targeted three known prostitutes who got into a car with a stranger, w...
LOUIS BOLDEN
I was doing stand-up at a restaurant and there was a chalkboard on the street out front. It said, So...
ELLEN DEGENERES
I was doing stand-up at a restaurant and there was a chalkboard on the street out front. It said, ''...
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The accepted definition of a serial killer is a person who kills at least three times with a cooling...
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I LIKE FIRE... I LIKE THE WHOLE CONCEPT OF IT... I JUST COULDN'T STOP MYSELF FROM PLAYING WITH... - ...
DEYTH BANGER
Often I am asked if there is any such thing as a female serial killer.
PAT BROWN
Telling the community a serial killer is out there stirs up a lot of unpleasant attention.
PAT BROWN
Your plays are always personal. You can't help seeing yourself in the serial killer you've j...
LAURA WADE
While we are being fascinated by the tales of famous serial killers and how they were brought to jus...
PAT BROWN
In my absence, the surveyor had become a kind of frenzied serial killer of the inanimate.
JEFF VANDERMEER
Comedy and politics have a lot in common. Both are great ways to pick up chicks - just look at Gover...
ALEXANDRA PETRI
How many chances to you get to make a musical about a serial killer? The minute Tim Burton approache...
JOHNNY DEPP
I really think he was fulfilling his dream. And he was a serial killer in the making.
CAPT. DENNIS STROW
He would have been handsome—in a serial-killer kind of way—if not for those tattoos.
GENA SHOWALTER
The thing that is fearful for the people in this country is that generally when you have a serial ki...
JOHN DOUGLAS
She stared at me "You have a message," she said. "On you machine."
I looked over at my answerin...
JEFF LINDSAY
The VCR is to the American film producer and the American public as the Boston Strangler (a serial k...
JACK VALENTI
The VCR is to the American film producer and the American public as the Boston Strangler (a serial k...
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MBI agents don't know whether Nelson's death is the work of a serial-killer trucker or whether it's ...
DELORES LEWIS
MBI agents don't know whether Nelson's death is the work of a serial killer trucker or whether it's ...
DELORES LEWIS
We're the folks out trying to warn people about the serial killer. This flier is for you -- to tell ...
DENISE HORSMAN
I am sorry for only two things. These two things are: I am sorry that I have mistreated some few ani...
THOMAS E. GADDIS
I find others, those who prey on the innocent and do not play by the rules, and I make them go away ...
JEFF LINDSAY
I've heard some stupid questions in my life. Usually they come in clusters: Why do you have that ...
J.M. DARHOWER
My first book was called 'Buried Dreams,' about a serial-killer, which was probably about te...
TIM CAHILL
You can't be right enough unless you accept that you are wrong.
WOHI PURANA
We are talking to him about other murders. There may be more... This case of the serial killer has d...
DAVID MAGARA
Do not criticize others unless you are willing to accept criticism.
ERALDO BANOVAC
Without love a child will become a serial killer or a cheater to get affection and genuine begs from...
NERISSA IRVING
She's in the mold of Bill Cosby and Jerry Seinfeld, ... You can accept that Ellen could be like us.
BILL CARROLL
The one noticeable similarity with almost all serial killer victims is their short height and low we...
PAT BROWN
who wants flowers when youre dead? nobody.
J.D. SALINGER
Corporatism trying to redeem itself through charity is akin to a serial killer offering to pay a fin...
DEAN CAVANAGH
I'm so sick of hearing how there's no strong roles for women. I don't care about strong roles. I jus...
MARTHA PLIMPTON
I remember playing John Wayne Gacy, serial killer, very sick, neurotic, screwed-up guy. You know wha...
BRIAN DENNEHY
This was it. This was what I had never felt before--an emotional connection to another human being. ...
DAN WELLS
Picking our first victim seemed as right as going to church on Sunday.
JOSEPH KALLINGER
It's my job as best friend to make sure he's not a serial killer. Or an English major, not sure whic...
SHELLY CRANE
Well I think that the mind of a serial killer and the mind of the detectives represent the duality w...
PAUL GUILFOYLE
I was a big Jay Leno fan, so I was sorry to see him go. But my number one person that I watch, she&#...
MEGYN KELLY
Doubt is a killer. You just have to know who you are and what you stand for.
JENNIFER LOPEZ
Dear Future child!! If you become a serial killer after I filled you with genuine love and education...
NERISSA IRVING
She loves swimming,” said Ellen, who I knew had been a competitive swimmer in college.
Ellen...
DANIEL AMORY
Roseanne was a huge groundbreaking comedian. Margaret Cho. Ellen DeGeneres, and then on 'Saturda...
REBECCA TRAISTER
Some of the best movies made about crime are those where the crime solver can get inside the head of...
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You can't have any successes unless you can accept failure.
GEORGE CUKOR
Jim Thompson understood something about the serial killer before the psychology caught up to it, whi...
VAL KILMER
He wanted to be remembered as a famous serial killer, but I hope he is forgotten and that we only re...
DAVE COBB
No murderer had before or has since caused such a sensation, passed so quickly into folklore or gain...
PAUL BEGG
Most fires crackle and pop, but that's not really the fire talking, it's the wood. To hear the fire ...
DAN WELLS
Dead is always a good alibi
SPENCER KOPE
For the writer, the serial killer is, abstractly, an analogue of the imagination's caprices and amor...
JOYCE CAROL OATES
But you have to understand, mental illness is like cholesterol. There is is good kind and the bad. W...
TIM DORSEY
I knew–though I didn't recognize the fact–that I wasn't all right.
JIM THOMPSON
Dan: 'Ah, well, I hope this didn't have anything to do with me.'

Ellen: 'No, not unless y...
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This is an evolving kind of situation, and what might have been appropriate a week ago might not be ...
KEN EHRLICH
Jon Bon Jovi plays this teacher and we're the students in his class. He creates a game about a seria...
JARED PADALECKI
I'm so sick of hearing how there's no strong roles for women. I don't care about strong ...
MARTHA PLIMPTON
Bundy was correct in saying that most serial murderers are addicted to hardcore pornography. FBI rec...
JAMES C. DOBSON
Accept where you are, accept what you have, accept who you are ~ do what you can with all of that an...
NIKKI ROWE
When you have the strength to stand up for yourself ,the ones you love and the dignity and honor to ...
GARY F EVANS...
We have this weird thing in the world where you don't get insulted for what you do, you get insulted...
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Are you a stupid sheep in the flock or a free eagle in the sky? Look at the mirror, what are you? Ar...
MEHMET MURAT ILDAN
We are not going to accept this document... unless there are fundamental changes.
AHMED TUGOD
There are causes worth fighting for even if you know that you will lose. Unless you are willing to a...
RICHARD DREYFUSS
For what it was worth he already knew he resembled a pissed off serial killer most of the time, he w...
V. THEIA
Making the leap from Monsanto's business practices - whatever you may think of them - to the ...
KYLE HILL

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ELLEN DEGENERES
"I see those picketers, and I think you know, if I weren't a loving, non-violent, spiritual person, ...
ELLEN DEGENERES
The sixties were when hallucinogenic drugs were really, really big. And I don't think it's a coincid...
ELLEN DEGENERES
"I swear if Colgate comes out with one more type of toothepaste. I just want clean teeth that's all ...
ELLEN DEGENERES
Why is it that when you wipe up dust its called dusting but when you wipe up a spill its not called ...
ELLEN DEGENERES
You should never assume. You know what happens when you assume. You make an ass out of you and me be...
ELLEN DEGENERES
The problem with labels is that they lead to stereotypes and stereotypes lead to generalizations and...
ELLEN DEGENERES
I was coming home from kindergarten - well they told me it was kindergarten. I found out later I had...
ELLEN DEGENERES
Don't hold onto things, it will only bring you pain.
ELLEN DEGENERES
That's what life is all about. There's a lot of crying. So you'd better cry now and get used to it.
ELLEN DEGENERES
The only way a no-legged leopard could hurt you is if it fell out of a tree onto your head.
ELLEN DEGENERES
I still get scared at night. Every tiny creak, every little noise, I open my eyes real wide and list...
ELLEN DEGENERES
[• Ellen DeGeneres , who was praised for her graceful performance as host of the Emmy Awards that ...
ELLEN DEGENERES
We'll go see some theater, and we'll hang out and do some stuff there. We'll go to clubs, ... Ellen ...
ELLEN DEGENERES
I was doing stand-up at a restaurant and there was a chalkboard on the street out front. It said, ''...
ELLEN DEGENERES
I feel sorry for the newscasters you know? We can turn it off. But that's their job and they have to...
ELLEN DEGENERES
"I'm feeling so good. I feel like a million bucks. I'm focused, I'm alert, I'm zippy and top of my g...
ELLEN DEGENERES
Come on, if you don't win tonight it doesn't mean you're not a good person, it just means you're not...
ELLEN DEGENERES
You know me. Any excuse to put on a dress.
ELLEN DEGENERES
"I feel like I have a hangover, without all the happy memories and mystery bruises."
ELLEN DEGENERES
I'm on the patch right now. Where it releases small dosages of approval until I no longer crave it, ...
ELLEN DEGENERES
Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that...
ELLEN DEGENERES
Hello?..Oh, hi Tom. Ooh, I've been dying to see that movie...Mmm no, I just opened up some yogurt. I...
ELLEN DEGENERES
It's definitely a heterosexual feeling, but it's directed at you.
ELLEN DEGENERES
Yeah [I'm thirty-six], but on the show I'm thirty-two. Nobody wants to watch a thirty-six year old w...
ELLEN DEGENERES
I was raised around heterosexuals, as all heterosexuals are, that's where us gay people come from......
ELLEN DEGENERES
Trying to get the talk show, looking back on it, we had to beg a lot of station managers to pick up ...
ELLEN DEGENERES
The first house I bought was a little Spanish bungalow on Clinton Street in West Hollywood, right be...
ELLEN DEGENERES
I'm on the patch right now. Where it releases small dosages of approval until I no longer crave ...
ELLEN DEGENERES
It's not like I grew up playing pranks on people, and I was not that girl in school.
ELLEN DEGENERES
I just like observing people - it's something I've done ever since I was a kid, and I got re...
ELLEN DEGENERES
Yeah I'm thirty-six, but on the show I'm thirty-two. Nobody wants to watch a thirty-six year...
ELLEN DEGENERES
Anne wrote it for me and directed, so I was stuck with it, ... We always got along. It's almost gros...
ELLEN DEGENERES
New Orleans is my hometown, and our thoughts and prayers go out to everyone affected.
ELLEN DEGENERES
I've been trying to find women writers for my staff for a while now and I have three women on my...
ELLEN DEGENERES
In the beginning there was nothing. God said, ‘Let there be light!’ And there was light. There w...
ELLEN DEGENERES
I get bored easily, so I need to do a lot. I've started a record label, so I get to nurture new ...
ELLEN DEGENERES
I enjoy growing older and wiser and learning from my mistakes every single day.
ELLEN DEGENERES
I've moved about 10 times over the past 15 years. I don't move for the sole purpose of getti...
ELLEN DEGENERES
The first time probably people really were aware of me, I unfortunately had the title of Showtime...
ELLEN DEGENERES
Stuffed deer heads on walls are bad enough, but it’s worse when you see them wearing dark glasses,...
ELLEN DEGENERES
Procrastination is not the problem. It is the solution. It is the universe's way of saying stop, slo...
ELLEN DEGENERES
Life is short. If you doubt me, ask a butterfly. Their average life span is a mere five to fourteen ...
ELLEN DEGENERES
Our attention span is shot. We've all got Attention Deficit Disorder or ADD or OCD or one of these d...
ELLEN DEGENERES
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She...
ELLEN DEGENERES
I would love to have the same rights as everybody else. I would love, I don't care if it's c...
ELLEN DEGENERES
I'm grateful for everything. I'm grateful for my health, and I'm so grateful for the lov...
ELLEN DEGENERES
I say always follow your passion, no matter what, because even if it's not the same financial su...
ELLEN DEGENERES
There would be nothing to get me to run for president. I don't even understand how anyone would ...
ELLEN DEGENERES