Leaning forward in your chair when someone is trying to squeeze behind you isn't enough. You also have to move the chair.

Accept who you are. Unless you're a serial killer.

Haiku sounds like I'm
Saying hi to someone named
Ku. Hi, Ku. Hello.

Answers to Frequently Asked Questions:
Yes.
Yes.
No.
One time in high school.
Three times in my twenties.
Rocks no salt.
Yes.
Four.
Never. And how dare you!
I will take no further questions.

Do things that make you happy within the confines of the legal system.

People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant.