Answers to Frequently Asked Questions:
Yes.
Yes.
No.
One time in high school.
Three times in my twenties.
Rocks no salt.
Yes.
Four.
Never. And how dare you!
I will take no further questions.


Ellen DeGeneres

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Jeff: I understand you guys had a good day today?
Peanut: Yes we had a great day!
Jose: No...
JEFF DUNHAM
Knock! knock!
who's there?
me!
me who?
that's right?
what's right?
mee...
SHEL SILVERSTEIN
Do you know a cure for me?"

"Why yes," he said, "I know a cure for everything. Salt water...
KAREN BLIXEN
Yes no yes no yes no?
Red blue?
Yes red, no blue?
No red, yes no?
In out, up dow...
DAVID BAIRD
-Do you want me to leave?
-Yes
-Do you want me to stay?
-Yes
-Do you love me? MALAK EL HALABI
God has three answers to our prayers:
1. Yes
2. Not yet
3. I have something better in...
LORI LYONS
God, he’s such a cocky, arrogant bastard at times.
And I totally fancy him.
No I don�...
SAMANTHA TOWLE
No. --Claire

Bullshit! Yes, a world of yes. --Eve
RACHEL CAINE
Do you know a cure for me?
Why yes, he said, I know a cure for everything. Salt water.
Salt w...
ISAK DINESEN
You’ve always got me”
“Always?”
“Didn’t I just say so?”
“Yes”
...
CLIVE BARKER
I asked,”Are you going to pick up next time I call you?”
”I did this time didn’t I?”<...
MAGGIE STIEFVATER
Like a pair of old slippers,
I feel comfort and
warmth as I slip into you.
No, that i...
KAMAND KOJOURI
My favorite six letter word is
always
because it promises
so much.

My favo...
KATE DICAMILLO
And you'll always love me won't you?
Yes
And the rain won't make any difference?
No
ERNEST HEMINGWAY
You should go order a sweet roll. Those are to die for. And a carne adovada burrito."
DARYNDA JONES
Sheep?"
"Sheep."
"Sheep!"
...
"Yes, as in baaaa.
GAIL CARRIGER
Are you afraid?"

"Yes."

"Energy never stops, remember. It just changes forms."...
AMIE KAUFMAN
I have something to tell you."

"How, you have something to tell me?"

"You have...
STEVEN BRUST
I have no news
of my coming
or passing away--
the whole thing
happened quicke...
فرید الدین عطار
How many times must a man look up
Before he can see the sky?
Yes, 'n' how many ears must o...
BOB DYLAN
As they say in America, ‘no better time than the present.’”

“Or before I change m...
KAILIN GOW
Is it true that you shouted at Professor Umbridge?'

'Yes,' said Harry.

'You ca...
J.K. ROWLING
You wanna-I dunno-get coffee or something sometime?"

Justin smiled "Not coffee. But yes."...
DAVID LEVITHAN
Thank you," he says.
"Thank who?"
"I don't know. You?"
"No, not me. Jesus." DAVE EGGERS
yes," she whispered.
He kissed her forehead. "yes what my leelan?"
"I will marry you
J.R. WARD
People are not an interruption of our business. People are our business.
A man's worst difficulties begin when he is able to do as he likes.
It is hard to look up to a leader who keeps his ear to the ground.
The most wasted day of all is that in which we have not laughed.
The more intelligent a man is, the more originality he discovers in men. Ordinary people see no diff...
The intelligence is proved not by ease of learning, but by understanding what we learn.
Communication is something so simple and difficult that we can never put it in simple words.
Like threads of silver seen through crystal beads
Let love through good deeds show.
How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it.
In everyone's heart stirs a great homesickness.
That is the supreme value of history. The study of it is the best guarantee against repeating it.
Our wisdom comes usually from our experience, and our experience comes largely from our experience.
One thing about the school of experience is that it will repeat the lesson if you flunk the first ti...
To reprove small faults within due vehemence, is as absurd as if a man should take a great hammer to...
Faith is like electricity. You can't see it, but you can see the light.
Every tomorrow has two handles. We can take hold of it by the handle of anxiety, or by the handle of...
Some families can trace their ancestors back three hundred years, but can't tell you where their chi...
A recent survey was said to prove that the people we Americans most admire are our politicians and d...
If a man defrauds you one time, he is a rascal; if he does it twice, you are a fool.
Flattery looks like friendship, just like a wolf looks like a dog.
Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.
Courage is always greatest when blended with meekness; intellectual ability is most admired when it ...
Freedom also includes the right to mismanage your own affairs.
Let your friends be the friends of your deliberate choice.
The man who has strong opinions and always says what he thinks is courageous - and friendless.
Friendship is love with understanding.
So few people think. When we find one who really does, we call him a genius
Your life can't go according to plan if you have no plan.
Practicing the Golden Rule is not a sacrifice; it is an investment.
Conversation is an exercise of the mind; gossip is merely an exercise of the tongue.
An expert gossiper knows how much to leave out of a conversation
To live so that you would not be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip, is to have li...
Gossip is sometimes referred to as halitosis of the mind
If you would attain greatness, think no little thoughts.
We are born brave, trusting and greedy, and most of us remain greedy.
People are changed, not by coercion or intimidation, but by example.
Children are natural mimics; they act like their parents in spite of every effort to teach them good...
The guilty catch themselves.
Good habits are formed; bad habits we fall into.
If happiness could be brought, few of us could pay the price.
Happiness will never come to those who fail to appreciate what they already have.
Happiness is in the heart, not in the circumstances.
It's never too late to have a happy childhood.
Hatred is a boomerang which is sure to hit you harder than the one at whom you throw it.
Hate pollutes the mind.
If we miraculously became the people we hate, how lovable we would find ourselves.
To feel "fit as a fiddle" you must tone down your middle.
Our health always seems much more valuable after we lose it.
A patient going to a doctor for his first visit was asked, "And whom did you consult before coming t...
"Oh," replied his patient, with no malice aforethought, "he told me to come and see you."
It is impossible to make wisdom hereditary.
Honesty is a question of right or wrong, not a matter of policy.
It is a pleasure to give advice, humiliating to need it, normal to ignore it.
It is almost impossible to smile on the outside without feeling better on the inside.
Too many people confine their exercise to jumping to conclusions, running up bills, stretching the t...
Imagination was given man to compensate for what he is not, and a sense of humor to console him for ...
Humor - the perfect relationship of the parts to the whole.
Our five senses are incomplete without the sixth - a sense of humor.
"What made the deepest impression upon you?" inquired a friend one day of Lincoln, "when you stood i...
It isn't easy for an idea to squeeze itself into a head filled with prejudice.
Too many people run out of ideas long before they run out of words.
Imagination is the pontoon bridge making way for the timid feet of reason.
Practical observation commonly consists of collecting a few facts and loading them with guesses.
Friendship is a living thing that lasts only as long as it is nourished with kindness, empathy and u...
Having supplied them with names, omnipotence, justice, knowledge, Providence, - what are they?
A good laugh is sunshine in a house.
When you laugh, be sure to laugh at what people do and not at what people are.
One look around us ought to show that all our arbitrary measures and bounds have been clamped on us ...
No punishment of the unrighteous has ever been too severe in the eyes of the righteous.
Why keep on enacting laws when we already have more than we can break.
The best leader is the one who has the sense to surround himself with outstanding people and self-re...
Advice is the only commodity on the market where the supply always exceeds the demand.
Successful men follow the same advice they prescribe for others.
You can judge your age by the amount of pain you feel when you come in contact with a new idea
Old age may seem a long way off. But on the day it doesn't, it will be too late to do anything about...

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Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that...
ELLEN DEGENERES
Hello?..Oh, hi Tom. Ooh, I've been dying to see that movie...Mmm no, I just opened up some yogurt. I...
ELLEN DEGENERES
It's definitely a heterosexual feeling, but it's directed at you.
ELLEN DEGENERES
Yeah [I'm thirty-six], but on the show I'm thirty-two. Nobody wants to watch a thirty-six year old w...
ELLEN DEGENERES
I was raised around heterosexuals, as all heterosexuals are, that's where us gay people come from......
ELLEN DEGENERES
Trying to get the talk show, looking back on it, we had to beg a lot of station managers to pick up ...
ELLEN DEGENERES
The first house I bought was a little Spanish bungalow on Clinton Street in West Hollywood, right be...
ELLEN DEGENERES
I'm on the patch right now. Where it releases small dosages of approval until I no longer crave ...
ELLEN DEGENERES
It's not like I grew up playing pranks on people, and I was not that girl in school.
ELLEN DEGENERES
I just like observing people - it's something I've done ever since I was a kid, and I got re...
ELLEN DEGENERES
Yeah I'm thirty-six, but on the show I'm thirty-two. Nobody wants to watch a thirty-six year...
ELLEN DEGENERES
Anne wrote it for me and directed, so I was stuck with it, ... We always got along. It's almost gros...
ELLEN DEGENERES
New Orleans is my hometown, and our thoughts and prayers go out to everyone affected.
ELLEN DEGENERES
I've been trying to find women writers for my staff for a while now and I have three women on my...
ELLEN DEGENERES
In the beginning there was nothing. God said, ‘Let there be light!’ And there was light. There w...
ELLEN DEGENERES
I get bored easily, so I need to do a lot. I've started a record label, so I get to nurture new ...
ELLEN DEGENERES
I enjoy growing older and wiser and learning from my mistakes every single day.
ELLEN DEGENERES
I've moved about 10 times over the past 15 years. I don't move for the sole purpose of getti...
ELLEN DEGENERES
The first time probably people really were aware of me, I unfortunately had the title of Showtime...
ELLEN DEGENERES
Stuffed deer heads on walls are bad enough, but it’s worse when you see them wearing dark glasses,...
ELLEN DEGENERES
Procrastination is not the problem. It is the solution. It is the universe's way of saying stop, slo...
ELLEN DEGENERES
Life is short. If you doubt me, ask a butterfly. Their average life span is a mere five to fourteen ...
ELLEN DEGENERES
Our attention span is shot. We've all got Attention Deficit Disorder or ADD or OCD or one of these d...
ELLEN DEGENERES
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She...
ELLEN DEGENERES
I would love to have the same rights as everybody else. I would love, I don't care if it's c...
ELLEN DEGENERES
I'm grateful for everything. I'm grateful for my health, and I'm so grateful for the lov...
ELLEN DEGENERES
I say always follow your passion, no matter what, because even if it's not the same financial su...
ELLEN DEGENERES
There would be nothing to get me to run for president. I don't even understand how anyone would ...
ELLEN DEGENERES