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Do things that make you happy within the confines of the legal system.


Ellen DeGeneres

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The Ellen DeGeneres Show.
ADRIEN BRODY Procrastination is not the problem. It is the solution.

Procrastinate now, don’t put it...
ELLEN DEGENERES I think Ellen DeGeneres is just hysterical.
PAUL RUDD The mainstream needs Ellen DeGeneres and Rosie O'Donnell. The mainstream needs RuPaul.
BILLY EICHNER We'll go see some theater, and we'll hang out and do some stuff there. We'll go to clubs, ... Ellen ...
ELLEN DEGENERES You couldn't stop it that way. But with social distancing, you might be able to slow it down, manage...
BRUCE GELLIN Things will get easier, people's minds will change, and you should be alive to see it.
ELLEN DEGENERES The Ellen DeGeneres show called, and they are interested in Ian. We didn't expect anything like that...
IAN GILCHRIST Just be happy, and if you can't be happy, do things that make you happy. Or do nothing with the peop...
ESTHER EARL Who knows, it could have been Hillary Clinton herself, doing a Freudian slip during a commercial bre...
BRIAN DONAHUE Who knows, it could have been Hillary Clinton herself, doing a Freudian slip during a commercial bre...
BRIAN DONAHUE It's not being marketed as a gay show by a gay person. It's just Ellen DeGeneres.
KYAN DOUGLAS No matter where you go or what you do, you live your entire life within the confines of your head.
TERRY JOSEPHSON I was doing stand-up at a restaurant and there was a chalkboard on the street out front. It said, So...
ELLEN DEGENERES I was doing stand-up at a restaurant and there was a chalkboard on the street out front. It said, ''...
ELLEN DEGENERES If you love someone you must set them free like the wind and give them the respect they deserve.If y...
GARY F EVANS... When I was a kid, Ellen DeGeneres and Rosie O'Donnell were mere blips on the gaydar; and they we...
BETH DITTO Once you get labelled, people expect you to behave within the very narrow confines of that label.
JO BRAND The world owes all its onward impulses to men ill at ease. The happy man inevitably confines himself...
NATHANIEL HAWTHORNE This is an evolving kind of situation, and what might have been appropriate a week ago might not be ...
KEN EHRLICH [• Ellen DeGeneres , who was praised for her graceful performance as host of the Emmy Awards that ...
ELLEN DEGENERES I'm not sure on the legal side of things, I'm not well versed in that, but I'd like to see something...
ERICH DUMBECK Comedy and politics have a lot in common. Both are great ways to pick up chicks - just look at Gover...
ALEXANDRA PETRI Anything that happens within the confines of our program, it has been our policy to keep it in-house...
BILL SNYDER I was a big Jay Leno fan, so I was sorry to see him go. But my number one person that I watch, she&#...
MEGYN KELLY One of the things you do when you make a piece of art is you try to make the world you'd rather ...
BRIAN ENO We have glorified wealth and freedom so much that it is impossible for most of us to truly believe t...
MOKOKOMA MOKHONOANA Within the confines of the lecture hall, no other virtue exists but plain intellectual integrity.
MAX WEBER The more things you have in your life that make you happy the more often you'll be happy.
CANDICE CAIN No life is so hard that you can't make it easier by the way you take it. -Ellen Glasgow.
ELLEN GLASGOW It's just the way Ellen does things.
JAN HARDESTY The power to live long is by simply learning to do things that will make life happy to inhabit you.
DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN) Beauty is the light within. Only when you see the light within yourself will others see it in you.
F. JOHNSON Millions of people acknowledge today that they do not know the meaning of life.
JAMES C. DOBSON What's causing the rate hikes has nothing to do with the legal system.
JOANNE DOROSHOW There are some things that you can fulfil with money, but at the end of the day these are not the th...
SEBASTIAN VETTEL I don't know whether it is beautiful or sad, that I find such blissful happiness within the confines...
KENDAL ROB If you are mad enough to take legal action against a public authority, you have to do it publicly. T...
BILL LUEDERS Sure, our legal system has its flaws, but it is the best legal system in the world.
KIMBERLY GUILFOYLE If therefore you shall be remembered for what you did with what you had more than what you had, use ...
ERNEST AGYEMANG YEBOAH until we do what has not yet been done, what has not been done shall remain undone
ERNEST AGYEMANG YEBOAH You hear horror stories of things that happened in the South, but many of those issues are still pre...
DENNIS PETERSON I believe [...] that while all human life is sacred there’s nothing wrong with the death pe...
NEIL GAIMAN Given that you'll never be able to prevent copying, the question is, what can you do to minimize...
EDWARD FELTEN Wait until next time," he warned. "I'll do things that'll make you lose control within seconds.
RICHELLE MEAD The civil justice system is built on a lie -- that vanquishing the other guy will solve your problem...
DAN FAGIN ...the most beautiful things don't always make you happy - often they make you weep...
JOHN GEDDES We have a legal immigration system that's outdated, it's primarily based on whether you have...
MARCO RUBIO Don't be confused, doing things that make you happy and doing things that is right are not the same.
JUNE RICHARD BAYLON The president also wants to make sure that our legal justice system, our criminal system is working,...
ANDI MALLARANGENG Let's create a legal system that can work.
SAM BROWNBACK Feel the love of that happy space you carry within wherever you go: HOME!
ROXANA JONES We're focused on things that will do one of three things. Put more electrons into the system, more e...
DEBRA BOWEN At one level you're condemned to the voice you have. But within those confines, you have a certa...
DAVID GUTERSON Things happened there that I don't think are the finest hours for anybody, whether it was a jour...
RAHM EMANUEL The human race is a zone of living things that should be defined by tracing its confines.
ITALO CALVINO I do think that it is a jolt to the legal system when you overrule a precedent. Precedent plays an i...
JOHN ROBERTS Each day I will accomplish one thing on my to do list.
LAILAH GIFTY AKITA The majority of the common people do not realize how corrupt the legal system has become until that ...
STEVEN MAGEE You think, as you walk away from Le Cirque des Rêves and into the creeping dawn, that you felt more...
ERIN MORGENSTERN He's really sharp. The guy does a great job of playing within the system, not doing crazy things. Le...
BRAD JOHNSON I'd rather the whole laugh my expense than have one person live their life within the social confine...
TROY J. GAINEY A prudent leader confines his action within the bounds of his official duty, lest jeopardizing a sub...
JECON B. NADELA Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish.
TED WHITEHEAD The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
HENNY YOUNGMAN Never say "I don't care"! We are all looking up to you. Dare to break the fence that confines you! M...
ISRAELMORE AYIVOR I do think it is a jolt to the legal system when you overrule a precedent, ... there are situations ...
JOHN ROBERTS It gives them a greater understanding of the legal system.
JUDY THOMPSON A Bluesman hates to be told what to do. Authority rankles him, inspires his rebellion, and plays to ...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE Food Allergies Are Not Due to Food, Rather Are Due to the Constant Contamination of That Food That Y...
THEHEALTHFOODGURU Ultimately, you have to learn how to live within the confines of a courtroom and not a boardroom. La...
JOEL ANDROPHY As long as you do the best work that you can and not make it bland... because you're going down a la...
GERARD BUTLER We are encouraged that the legal system is working to protect the community.
JEFFREY HERMAN The legal system in Afghanistan is very immature and porous.
LINDSEY GRAHAM Stop living within the confines of how others define you! You weren't created to live their life; yo...
STEVE MARABOLI If you make music for the human needs you have within yourself, then you do it for all humans who ne...
BILLY JOEL Life is short, and that's why, I don't test people; because we all fail tests sometimes, but that is...
C. JOYBELL C. Roseanne was a huge groundbreaking comedian. Margaret Cho. Ellen DeGeneres, and then on 'Saturda...
REBECCA TRAISTER You do not win by struggling to the top of a caste system, you win by refusing to be trapped within ...
NAOMI WOLF As long as you do the best work that you can and not make it bland... because you're going down ...
GERARD BUTLER I don't know if I have a favorite color.
KATE MIDDLETON It's very special having a new little girl.
KATE MIDDLETON The keystone to justice is the belief that the legal system treats all fairly.
JANET RENO Through travel, you discover a new aspect to your personality. You discover things which you wouldn&...
IMTIAZ ALI Part of the focus is educating people about the day-to-day work we do at Legal Aid. ... We've raised...
ADRIENNE WORTHY And that’s the terrible myth of organized society. That everything that’s done through the estab...
WILLIAM M. KUNSTLER There is absolutely no reason this should be a poor country. Ellen has contacts and enormous credibi...
HARRY GREAVES You hold within you a system of values and beliefs
SUNDAY ADELAJA Do you know what a blessing it is to make movies that make people happy?
KATE HUDSON Happiness is a conditioning of the mind and body so that happiness is totally within the way you per...
CHARMAINE SMITH LADD Trynna get rid of all the negative things that makes me unhappy . deciding to start a new chapter in...
NADIRA AHMED It is easier to make certain things legal than to make them legitimate
CHAMFORT Mankind are always happy for having been happy; so that, if you make them happy now, you make them h...
SYDNEY SMITH Mankind are always happy for having been happy; so that, if you make them happy now, you make them ...
SYDNEY SMITH The discussion is about water in the river. We have a right to our water in the river within the con...
DENNIS LOPEZ Most people imagine that the explosion in the U.S. prison population during the past twenty-five yea...
MICHELLE ALEXANDER I think it's important to find the little things in everyday life that make you happy.
PAULA COLE You can do something perfectly legal, but that is inconsistent with the policy or procedures of the ...
BRYAN WHITMAN The two men had a conversation. Brief, cryptic, to the point. As though they had exchanged numbers a...
ARUNDHATI ROY I did this within a philosophical framework, and a moral and legal framework. And I have been turned...
JACK ABRAMOFF

More Ellen DeGeneres

I am saddened by how people treat one another and how we are so shut off from one another and how we...
ELLEN DEGENERES I would love for the world to be happier.
ELLEN DEGENERES I learned compassion from being discriminated against. Everything bad that's ever happened to me...
ELLEN DEGENERES So many people prefer to live in drama because it's comfortable. It's like someone staying i...
ELLEN DEGENERES If you're going to be honest with yourself, you have to admit that you go into show business wan...
ELLEN DEGENERES The world is full of a lot of fear and a lot of negativity, and a lot of judgment. I just think peop...
ELLEN DEGENERES Sometimes you can't see yourself clearly until you see yourself through the eyes of others.
ELLEN DEGENERES And now I've got to explain the smell that was in there before I went in there. Does that ever happe...
ELLEN DEGENERES Beauty is about being comfortable in your own skin. It's about knowing and accepting who you are.
ELLEN DEGENERES The only thing that scares me more than space aliens is the idea that there aren't any space aliens....
ELLEN DEGENERES I'm a godmother, that's a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, that's cute, I...
ELLEN DEGENERES Accept who you are. Unless you're a serial killer.
ELLEN DEGENERES I'm just saying we can all work on our manners. We can say please and thank you. We can be punctual....
ELLEN DEGENERES Above all things physical, it is more important to be beautiful on the inside - to have a big hear a...
ELLEN DEGENERES Life is about balance. The good and the bad. The highs and the lows. The thing everyone should reali...
ELLEN DEGENERES It always helps to think about other people instead of ourselves.
ELLEN DEGENERES If someone ever says you’re weird, say thank you.
ELLEN DEGENERES If your Birthday is on Christmas day and you're not Jesus, you should start telling people your birt...
ELLEN DEGENERES You just have to keep driving down the road. It's going to bend and curve and you'll speed up and sl...
ELLEN DEGENERES Haiku sounds like I'm
Saying hi to someone named
Ku. Hi, Ku. Hello.
ELLEN DEGENERES Answers to Frequently Asked Questions:
Yes.
Yes.
No.
One time in high school. ELLEN DEGENERES Contribute to the world. Help people. Help one person. Help someone cross the street today. Help som...
ELLEN DEGENERES Now,I'm no scientist,but I know what endorphins are. They're tiny little magical elves that swim thr...
ELLEN DEGENERES The thing everyone should realize is that the key to happiness is being happy for yourself and yours...
ELLEN DEGENERES So be who you really are. Embrace who you are. Literally. Hug yourself. Accept who you are. Unless y...
ELLEN DEGENERES Who's to say what's better or worse anyway? Who's to even say what's normal or average? We're all di...
ELLEN DEGENERES Our flaws are what makes us human. If we can accept them as part of who we are, they really don't ev...
ELLEN DEGENERES Leaning forward in your chair when someone is trying to squeeze behind you isn't enough. You also ha...
ELLEN DEGENERES Way, way back in the day, like in the 1990s, if you wanted to tell everyone you ate waffles for brea...
ELLEN DEGENERES I wonder what will happen if i put a hand cream on my feet, will they get confused and start clappin...
ELLEN DEGENERES I personally like being unique. I like being my own person with my own style and my own opinions and...
ELLEN DEGENERES It's failure that gives you the proper perspective on success.
ELLEN DEGENERES It makes a big difference in your life when you stay positive.
ELLEN DEGENERES Find out who you are and figure out what you believe in. Even if it's different from what your neigh...
ELLEN DEGENERES What’s not so great is that all this technology is destroying our social skills. Not only have we ...
ELLEN DEGENERES True beauty is not related to what color your hair is or what color your eyes are. True beauty is ab...
ELLEN DEGENERES When you take risks you learn that there will be times when you succeed and there will be times when...
ELLEN DEGENERES My point is, life is about balance. The good and the bad. The highs and the lows. The pina and the c...
ELLEN DEGENERES Laugh. Laugh as much as you can. Laugh until you cry. Cry until you laugh. Keep doing it even if peo...
ELLEN DEGENERES If you want to test cosmetics, why do it on some poor animal who hasn't done anything? They should u...
ELLEN DEGENERES I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful ...
ELLEN DEGENERES You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She...
ELLEN DEGENERES I was doing stand-up at a restaurant and there was a chalkboard on the street out front. It said, So...
ELLEN DEGENERES Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
ELLEN DEGENERES I was in yoga the other day. I was in full lotus position. My chakras were all aligned. My mind is c...
ELLEN DEGENERES Don't give advice. It will come back and bite you in the [butt]. Don't take anyone's advice. So, my ...
ELLEN DEGENERES The reason I do what I do is because I was influenced by Steve Martin, by Woody Allen, by Bob Newhar...
ELLEN DEGENERES The only thing I really recommend, if you're starting out in stand-up is to not try to copy anyb...
ELLEN DEGENERES People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant.
ELLEN DEGENERES The stand up, everything was accidental. I never grew up and was the class clown and had to get the ...
ELLEN DEGENERES People give me such a hard time because I don't wear dresses. What's that got to do with any...
ELLEN DEGENERES My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and ...
ELLEN DEGENERES Find out who you are and be that person. That's what your soul was put on this Earth to be. Find...
ELLEN DEGENERES I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beauti...
ELLEN DEGENERES I don't pay attention to the number of birthdays. It's weird when I say I'm 53. It just ...
ELLEN DEGENERES We focus so much on our differences, and that is creating, I think, a lot of chaos and negativity an...
ELLEN DEGENERES Nothing says holidays, like a cheese log.
ELLEN DEGENERES I think everybody should have the same anger towards the injustice that's happening and the hatr...
ELLEN DEGENERES I have sadness in me. I have anger in me. I have heartbreak in me.
ELLEN DEGENERES Whatever you define family as, family is just a part of belonging to something that takes care of yo...
ELLEN DEGENERES We need more kindness, more compassion, more joy, more laughter. I definitely want to contribute to ...
ELLEN DEGENERES I get those fleeting, beautiful moments of inner peace and stillness - and then the other 23 hours a...
ELLEN DEGENERES If we're destroying our trees and destroying our environment and hurting animals and hurting one...
ELLEN DEGENERES Here are the values that I stand for: honesty, equality, kindness, compassion, treating people the w...
ELLEN DEGENERES It's our challenges and obstacles that give us layers of depth and make us interesting. Are they...
ELLEN DEGENERES Things will get easier, people's minds will change, and you should be alive to see it.
ELLEN DEGENERES I just want to find somebody special, somebody that I click with.
ELLEN DEGENERES We have two dogs, Mabel and Wolf, and three cats at home, Charlie, George and Chairman. We have two ...
ELLEN DEGENERES I didn't grow up in a house - we moved a lot, and we always lived in apartments. But we looked a...
ELLEN DEGENERES Right before I decided to come out, I went on a spiritual retreat called 'Changing the Inner Dia...
ELLEN DEGENERES Most comedy is based on getting a laugh at somebody else's expense. And I find that that's j...
ELLEN DEGENERES I think they should have a Barbie with a buzz cut.
ELLEN DEGENERES I'm sure there's somebody out there who doesn't like Betty White because she's short...
ELLEN DEGENERES I love kids. But that's such a big commitment. And it seems long-term. It seems like a commitmen...
ELLEN DEGENERES I had everything I'd hoped for, but I wasn't being myself. So I decided to be honest about w...
ELLEN DEGENERES I like being busy and juggling a lot of things at the same time. I get bored easily, so I need to do...
ELLEN DEGENERES I work really hard at trying to see the big picture and not getting stuck in ego. I believe we'r...
ELLEN DEGENERES I'm not an activist; I don't look for controversy. I'm not a political person, but I'...
ELLEN DEGENERES My father was a first reader in the Christian Science Church, which is similar to being a preacher. ...
ELLEN DEGENERES I became vegan because I saw footage of what really goes on in the slaughterhouses and on the dairy ...
ELLEN DEGENERES Have you ever heard somebody sing some lyrics that you've never sung before, and you realize you've ...
ELLEN DEGENERES I'm so unfamiliar with the gym, I call it James!
ELLEN DEGENERES My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we d...
ELLEN DEGENERES I do have ADD and in real life, I'm all over the place and can hardly focus. If we were talking ...
ELLEN DEGENERES I still have the shirt I wore my first time on Johnny Carson's show. Only now I use it as a tabl...
ELLEN DEGENERES You know, it's hard work to write a book. I can't tell you how many times I really get going on an i...
ELLEN DEGENERES When I was younger I thought success was something different. I thought, " When I grow up, I want to...
ELLEN DEGENERES You have to have funny faces and words, you can't just have words. It is a powerful thing, and I thi...
ELLEN DEGENERES What you look like on the outside is not what makes you cool at all. I mean, I had a mullet and wore...
ELLEN DEGENERES I have the worst memory ever so no matter who comes up to me - they're just, like, 'I can't believe ...
ELLEN DEGENERES The way I see it... If you need both of your hands for whatever it is you're doing, then your brain ...
ELLEN DEGENERES Really, he called me that? Ellen DeGenerate? I've been getting that since fourth grade. I guess I'm ...
ELLEN DEGENERES The good psychic would pick up the phone before it rang. Of course it is possible there was noone on...
ELLEN DEGENERES Sometimes when I am driving I get so angry at inconsiderate drivers that I want to scream at them. B...
ELLEN DEGENERES I don't need a baby growing inside me for nine months. For one thing, there's morning sickness. If I...
ELLEN DEGENERES They say you just stand over there, he'll say thank you and you walk back off and that's what I thou...
ELLEN DEGENERES In the beginning there was nothing. God said, 'Let there be light!' And there was light. There was s...
ELLEN DEGENERES Stuffed deer heads on walls are bad enough, but it's worse when they are wearing dark glasses and ha...
ELLEN DEGENERES Sometimes you can't see yourself clearly until you see yourself through the eyes of others.
ELLEN DEGENERES Procrastination isn't the problem, it's the solution. So procrastinate now, don't put it off.
ELLEN DEGENERES My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we d...
ELLEN DEGENERES I was coming home from kindergarten--well they told me it was kindergarten. I found out later I had ...
ELLEN DEGENERES I gotta work out. I keep saying it all the time. I keep saying I gotta start working out. It's been ...
ELLEN DEGENERES I don't understand the sizes anymore. There's a size zero, which I didn't even know that they had. I...
ELLEN DEGENERES For me, it's that I contributed, ... That I'm on this planet doing some good and making people happy...
ELLEN DEGENERES I didn't go to college at all, any college, and I'm not saying you wasted your time or money, but lo...
ELLEN DEGENERES Life is like one big Mardi Gras. But instead of showing your boobs, show people your brain, and if t...
ELLEN DEGENERES Some of the most devastating things that happen to you will teach you the most.
ELLEN DEGENERES Follow your passion. Stay true to yourself. Never follow someone else's path unless you're in the wo...
ELLEN DEGENERES People love gossip. It's the biggest thing that keeps the entertainment industry going.
ELLEN DEGENERES And we certainly don't have full conversations on cellphones. You know? Usually the reception is so ...
ELLEN DEGENERES "I don't understand the sizes anymore. There's a size zero, which I didn't even know that they had. ...
ELLEN DEGENERES I just feel like every kid is growing up too fast and they're seeing too much. Everything is abo...
ELLEN DEGENERES I was coming home from kindergarten - well they told me it was kindergarten. I found out later I had...
ELLEN DEGENERES its like picking your least favorite color of the rainbow
ELLEN DEGENERES I have a great career, and I have wonderful fans who really are supportive and loyal - because I'...
ELLEN DEGENERES Our egos tells us we're the only ones that have any kind of feelings. We're the only ones with a rel...
ELLEN DEGENERES People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant.
ELLEN DEGENERES And be sure to look for me next month when I host the North Korean Peoples Choice Awards.
ELLEN DEGENERES We've quit our agents, let go of our publicist. We're selling our house and leaving town.
ELLEN DEGENERES Soap Talk.
ELLEN DEGENERES There are a million people who are refugees, ... Life goes on, and if it didn't impact you directly,...
ELLEN DEGENERES [I went to a] coffee shop here and the smallest coffee is a tall... "I need a coffee with a side of ...
ELLEN DEGENERES I didn't want the Web site to be impersonal and I wanted to interact with people, ... The hammer and...
ELLEN DEGENERES "Here's the analogy. If my body were a car, I'd be thinking about trading it in around now. I would ...
ELLEN DEGENERES Oh she tripped?....Nooo, she's running. I thought she tripped but she's running. She stopped running...
ELLEN DEGENERES Friends will write me letters. They run out of room on the front of the letter. They write 'over' on...
ELLEN DEGENERES [Golden eagles have an interesting way of mating, where they connect in the air while flying at eigh...
ELLEN DEGENERES I think people talk too much anyway. Sometimes people are talking to me and in my mind I'm just like...
ELLEN DEGENERES I collect old portraits. They're all just interesting pictures of people, and you just kind of w...
ELLEN DEGENERES Faith is part of who I am, yes. I was raised Christian Scientist. The most important thing I saw eve...
ELLEN DEGENERES I do fantasize about having my own shop one day.
ELLEN DEGENERES But seriously, I think overall in the scheme of things winning an Emmy is not important. Let's g...
ELLEN DEGENERES Just go up to somebody on the street and say "You're it!" and just run away.
ELLEN DEGENERES In the beginning there was nothing. God said, 'Let there be light!' And there was light. The...
ELLEN DEGENERES If we're destroying our trees and destroying our environment and hurting animals and hurting one...
ELLEN DEGENERES ...if you want to add a little spice to your life, plant some dill. And learn to salsa.
ELLEN DEGENERES I'm a lesbian, an Aquarian, and a vegetarian.
ELLEN DEGENERES I do like men and I had, you know, a guy in high school that I wanted to marry desperately. He's...
ELLEN DEGENERES When we were growing up our parents somehow made it clear that being famous was good. And I mistaken...
ELLEN DEGENERES Dan: 'Ah, well, I hope this didn't have anything to do with me.'

Ellen: 'No, not unless y...
ELLEN DEGENERES My aunt has lost everything, she has nothing. She grabbed four pictures out of her house. She's lost...
ELLEN DEGENERES My dad is still Christian Scientist. My mom's not, and I'm not. But I believe in God, and th...
ELLEN DEGENERES Procrastinate now, don't put it off.
ELLEN DEGENERES "I feel like I have a hangover, without all the happy memories and mystery bruises." ELLEN DEGENERES "I think people talk too much anyway. Sometimes people are talking to me and in my mind I'm just lik...
ELLEN DEGENERES I'm probably the most honest person you'll ever meet - to a fault, like, I-will-hurt-your-fe...
ELLEN DEGENERES Hosting the Oscars is pretty much the scariest thing you can do. To me, this is right up there with ...
ELLEN DEGENERES I would say 'no'! It's such a thankless job. If you do great, nobody mentions it. If you don't, ever...
ELLEN DEGENERES I think I let go of the need for approval,
ELLEN DEGENERES I think I let go of the need for approval, ... It certainly feels good when you get it, but I used t...
ELLEN DEGENERES But seriously, I think overall in the scheme of things winning an Emmy is not important. Let's get o...
ELLEN DEGENERES "I see those picketers, and I think you know, if I weren't a loving, non-violent, spiritual person, ...
ELLEN DEGENERES The sixties were when hallucinogenic drugs were really, really big. And I don't think it's a coincid...
ELLEN DEGENERES "I swear if Colgate comes out with one more type of toothepaste. I just want clean teeth that's all ...
ELLEN DEGENERES Why is it that when you wipe up dust its called dusting but when you wipe up a spill its not called ...
ELLEN DEGENERES You should never assume. You know what happens when you assume. You make an ass out of you and me be...
ELLEN DEGENERES The problem with labels is that they lead to stereotypes and stereotypes lead to generalizations and...
ELLEN DEGENERES I was coming home from kindergarten - well they told me it was kindergarten. I found out later I had...
ELLEN DEGENERES Don't hold onto things, it will only bring you pain.
ELLEN DEGENERES That's what life is all about. There's a lot of crying. So you'd better cry now and get used to it.
ELLEN DEGENERES The only way a no-legged leopard could hurt you is if it fell out of a tree onto your head.
ELLEN DEGENERES I still get scared at night. Every tiny creak, every little noise, I open my eyes real wide and list...
ELLEN DEGENERES [• Ellen DeGeneres , who was praised for her graceful performance as host of the Emmy Awards that ...
ELLEN DEGENERES We'll go see some theater, and we'll hang out and do some stuff there. We'll go to clubs, ... Ellen ...
ELLEN DEGENERES I was doing stand-up at a restaurant and there was a chalkboard on the street out front. It said, ''...
ELLEN DEGENERES I feel sorry for the newscasters you know? We can turn it off. But that's their job and they have to...
ELLEN DEGENERES "I'm feeling so good. I feel like a million bucks. I'm focused, I'm alert, I'm zippy and top of my g...
ELLEN DEGENERES Come on, if you don't win tonight it doesn't mean you're not a good person, it just means you're not...
ELLEN DEGENERES You know me. Any excuse to put on a dress.
ELLEN DEGENERES "I feel like I have a hangover, without all the happy memories and mystery bruises."
ELLEN DEGENERES I'm on the patch right now. Where it releases small dosages of approval until I no longer crave it, ...
ELLEN DEGENERES Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that...
ELLEN DEGENERES Hello?..Oh, hi Tom. Ooh, I've been dying to see that movie...Mmm no, I just opened up some yogurt. I...
ELLEN DEGENERES It's definitely a heterosexual feeling, but it's directed at you.
ELLEN DEGENERES Yeah [I'm thirty-six], but on the show I'm thirty-two. Nobody wants to watch a thirty-six year old w...
ELLEN DEGENERES I was raised around heterosexuals, as all heterosexuals are, that's where us gay people come from......
ELLEN DEGENERES Trying to get the talk show, looking back on it, we had to beg a lot of station managers to pick up ...
ELLEN DEGENERES The first house I bought was a little Spanish bungalow on Clinton Street in West Hollywood, right be...
ELLEN DEGENERES I'm on the patch right now. Where it releases small dosages of approval until I no longer crave ...
ELLEN DEGENERES It's not like I grew up playing pranks on people, and I was not that girl in school.
ELLEN DEGENERES I just like observing people - it's something I've done ever since I was a kid, and I got re...
ELLEN DEGENERES Yeah I'm thirty-six, but on the show I'm thirty-two. Nobody wants to watch a thirty-six year...
ELLEN DEGENERES Anne wrote it for me and directed, so I was stuck with it, ... We always got along. It's almost gros...
ELLEN DEGENERES New Orleans is my hometown, and our thoughts and prayers go out to everyone affected.
ELLEN DEGENERES I've been trying to find women writers for my staff for a while now and I have three women on my...
ELLEN DEGENERES In the beginning there was nothing. God said, ‘Let there be light!’ And there was light. There w...
ELLEN DEGENERES I get bored easily, so I need to do a lot. I've started a record label, so I get to nurture new ...
ELLEN DEGENERES I enjoy growing older and wiser and learning from my mistakes every single day.
ELLEN DEGENERES I've moved about 10 times over the past 15 years. I don't move for the sole purpose of getti...
ELLEN DEGENERES The first time probably people really were aware of me, I unfortunately had the title of Showtime...
ELLEN DEGENERES Stuffed deer heads on walls are bad enough, but it’s worse when you see them wearing dark glasses,...
ELLEN DEGENERES Procrastination is not the problem. It is the solution. It is the universe's way of saying stop, slo...
ELLEN DEGENERES Life is short. If you doubt me, ask a butterfly. Their average life span is a mere five to fourteen ...
ELLEN DEGENERES Our attention span is shot. We've all got Attention Deficit Disorder or ADD or OCD or one of these d...
ELLEN DEGENERES You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She...
ELLEN DEGENERES I would love to have the same rights as everybody else. I would love, I don't care if it's c...
ELLEN DEGENERES I'm grateful for everything. I'm grateful for my health, and I'm so grateful for the lov...
ELLEN DEGENERES I say always follow your passion, no matter what, because even if it's not the same financial su...
ELLEN DEGENERES There would be nothing to get me to run for president. I don't even understand how anyone would ...
ELLEN DEGENERES