FastSaying

Do things that make you happy within the confines of the legal system.

Ellen DeGeneres

Ellen DeGeneres

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Accept who you are. Unless you're a serial killer.
— Ellen DeGeneres
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Haiku sounds like I'm
Saying hi to someone named
Ku. Hi, Ku. Hello.
— Ellen DeGeneres
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Answers to Frequently Asked Questions:
Yes.
Yes.
No.
One time in high school.
Three times in my twenties.
Rocks no salt.
Yes.
Four.
Never. And how dare you!
I will take no further questions.
— Ellen DeGeneres
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People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant.
— Ellen DeGeneres
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Leaning forward in your chair when someone is trying to squeeze behind you isn't enough. You also have to move the chair.
— Ellen DeGeneres
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