FastSaying

Anoint, v.: To grease a king or other great functionary already sufficiently slippery.


Ambrose Bierce

  Email Quote to Friends   Link to Quote   Create Short URL  Publish Text About This Quote   Share on Facebook, Twitter, and more
  See Recommended Quotes For You

Related

ANOINT, v.t. To grease a king or other great functionary already sufficiently slippery.As sovereigns...
AMBROSE BIERCE There are four kinds of homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy.” ~ Ambrose ...
J.J. MCAVOY No formal course in fiction-writing can equal a close and observant perusal of the stories of Edgar ...
H. P. LOVECRAFT Under which king, Bezonian? speak, or die! -King Henry IV. Part II. Act v. Sc. 3.
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE If he be not fellow with the best king, thou shalt find the best king of good fellows. -King Henry ...
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE And the bramble said unto the trees, If in truth ye anoint me king over you, then come and put your ...
BIBLE All hell shall stir for this. -King Henry V. Act v. Sc. 1.
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE That sordid, slippery little Snake looked us in the eyes and dared us to sire a king. And tonight, t...
SOMAN CHAINANI RECONSIDER, v. To seek a justification for a decision already made.
AMBROSE BIERCE There is occasions and causes why and wherefore in all things. -King Henry V. Act v. Sc. 1.
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE The American people would not want to know of any misquotes that Dan Quayle may or may not make. �...
VICE PRESIDENT DAN QUAYLE 'T is a cruelty To load a falling man. -King Henry VIII. Act v. Sc. 3.
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE A thing devised by the enemy. -King Richard III. Act v. Sc. 3.
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE An arrant traitor as any is in the universal world, or in France, or in England! -King Henry V. Act...
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE By this leek, I will most horribly revenge: I eat and eat, I swear. -King Henry V. Act v. Sc. 1.
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE To dance attendance on their lordships' pleasures. -King Henry VIII. Act v. Sc. 2.
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE A horse! a horse! my kingdom for a horse! -King Richard III. Act v. Sc. 4.
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE The king's name is a tower of strength. -King Richard III. Act v. Sc. 3.
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE Now my soul hath elbow-room. -King John. Act v. Sc. 7.
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE As cold as any stone. -King Henry V. Act ii. Sc. 3.
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE I have a spiritual journey on earth.
Lord anoint and empower me to accomplish my great task on ...
LAILAH GIFTY AKITA Mocking the air with colours idly spread. -King John. Act v. Sc. 1.
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE Base is the slave that pays. -King Henry V. Act ii. Sc. 1.
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE As for a camel To thread the postern of a small needle's eye. -King Richard II. Act v. Sc. 5.
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE A Ritual to Read to Each Other


If you don’t know the kind of person I am
and...
WILLIAM STAFFORD I could have better spared a better man. -King Henry IV. Part I. Act v. Sc. 4.
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE That 's a perilous shot out of an elder-gun. -King Henry V. Act iv. Sc. 1.
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE Even at the turning o' the tide. -King Henry V. Act ii. Sc. 3.
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE And he that stands upon a slippery place Makes nice of no vile hold to stay him up. -King John. Act...
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE The only man a girl can depend on is her daddy.
Find your sugar daddy
>>>>>...
GREASE O for a Muse of fire, that would ascend The brightest heaven of invention! -King Henry V. Prologue.
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE O coward conscience, how dost thou afflict me! -King Richard III. Act v. Sc. 3.
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE Give me another horse: bind up my wounds. -King Richard III. Act v. Sc. 3.
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE Men of few words are the best men. -King Henry V. Act iii. Sc. 2.
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE And sheathed their swords for lack of argument. -King Henry V. Act iii. Sc. 1.
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE His cares are now all ended. -King Henry IV. Part II. Act v. Sc. 2.
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE The early village cock Hath twice done salutation to the morn. -King Richard III. Act v. Sc. 3.
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE There isn't a King Lear for women, or a Henry V, or a Richard III. You reach a level where you c...
HELEN MIRREN 511I love you. And I'm going to keep loving you even after you don't know I exist.
J.R. WARD The better part of valour is discretion. -King Henry IV. Part I. Act v. Sc. 4.
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE We few, we happy few, we band of brothers. -King Henry V. Act iv. Sc. 3.
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE Winding up days with toil and nights with sleep. -King Henry V. Act iv. Sc. 1.
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE Other nations of different habits are not enemies: they are godsends. Men require of their neighbour...
ALFRED NORTH WHITEHEAD His nose was as sharp as a pen, and a' babbled of green fields. -King Henry V. Act ii. Sc. 3.
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE I would give all my fame for a pot of ale and safety. -King Henry V. Act iii. Sc. 2.
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE Self-love, my liege, is not so vile a sin As self-neglecting. -King Henry V. Act ii. Sc. 4.
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE 'Henry V' is a great deal more than almost any other hell-bent-for-armor movie that you'...
MANNY FARBER But if it be a sin to covet honour, I am the most offending soul alive. -King Henry V. Act iv. Sc. ...
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE Who with a body filled and vacant mind Gets him to rest, crammed with distressful bread. -King Henr...
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE Full bravely hast thou fleshed Thy maiden sword. -King Henry IV. Part I. Act v. Sc. 4.
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE This England never did, nor never shall, Lie at the proud foot of a conqueror. -King John. Act v. S...
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE A most unspotted lily shall she pass To the ground, and all the world shall mourn her. -King Henry ...
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE She 's beautiful, and therefore to be wooed; She is a woman, therefore to be won. -King Henry VI. P...
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE The selfsame heaven That frowns on me looks sadly upon him. -King Richard III. Act v. Sc. 3.
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE I 'll purge, and leave sack, and live cleanly. -King Henry IV. Part I. Act v. Sc. 4.
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE Two stars keep not their motion in one sphere. -King Henry IV. Part I. Act v. Sc. 4.
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE I would 't were bedtime, Hal, and all well. -King Henry IV. Part I. Act v. Sc. 1.
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE If you can sell that you're the King of Scotland, or Henry V on a tiny stage in a studio theater...
DAVID TENNANT There is no passion like that of a functionary for his function.
GEORGES CLEMENCEAU This earth that bears thee dead Bears not alive so stout a gentleman. -King Henry IV. Part I. Act v...
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE Well, Valek, any new promotions?” the Commander asked
“No. But Maren shows promise. Unfortu...
MARIA V. SNYDER I thought upon one pair of English legs Did march three Frenchmen. -King Henry V. Act iii. Sc. 6.
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE Every subject's duty is the king's; but every subject's soul is his own. -King Henry V. Act iv. Sc....
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE I see you stand like greyhounds in the slips, Straining upon the start. -King Henry V. Act iii. Sc....
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE Consideration, like an angel, came And whipped the offending Adam out of him. -King Henry V. Act i....
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE A foutre for the world and worldlings base! I speak of Africa and golden joys. -King Henry IV. Part...
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE It?s a slippery snow - more slippery than usual.
CAPT. DAVID FERLAND As an end user, I see the results of the pads from the other side. There's no pool of grease at the ...
JOHN BOYER I am sufficiently convinced already that the members of a profession know their own calling better t...
ASA GRAY Thus far into the bowels of the land Have we marched on without impediment. -King Richard III. Act ...
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE As a lyricist, you love to hear other great lyrics or other great concepts.
ALICIA KEYS There is some soul of goodness in things evil, Would men observingly distil it out. -King Henry V. ...
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE How about this?' Simmon asked me. "Which is worse, stealing a pie or killing Ambrose?"
I gave i...
PATRICK ROTHFUSS We should not go down the slippery slope of what other countries might do to terrorize detainees.
TIMOTHY J. ROEMER There is a river in Macedon; and there is also moreover a river at Monmouth;… and there is salmons...
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE You may as well say, that 's a valiant flea that dare eat his breakfast on the lip of a lion. -King...
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE Suspicion always haunts the guilty mind; The thief doth fear each bush an officer. -King Henry VI. ...
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE Thy ignominy sleep with thee in the grave, But not remember'd in thy epitaph! -King Henry IV. Part ...
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE Offer a wise man to be the king of the world, he will refuse it because wisdom is already a kingdom ...
MEHMET MURAT ILDAN To be, or not to be, that is the question.
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE I thought I stayed with the program and with the character, and the audience was great, ... Grease.
EVAN LYSACEK True hope is swift, and flies with swallow's wings; Kings it makes gods, and meaner creatures kings....
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE My conscience hath a thousand several tongues, And every tongue brings in a several tale, And every ...
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE Grease.
OLIVIA NEWTON-JOHN Once a king or queen of Narnia, always a king or queen of Narnia.
C.S. LEWIS Then shall our names, Familiar in his mouth as household words,— Harry the King, Bedford and Exete...
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE Destiny: A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure.
AMBROSE BIERCE Belladonna, n.: In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the e...
AMBROSE BIERCE Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.
AMBROSE BIERCE Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate.
AMBROSE BIERCE Immortality: A toy which people cry for, And on their knees apply for, Dispute, contend and lie for,...
AMBROSE BIERCE Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
AMBROSE BIERCE Suffrage, noun. Expression of opinion by means of a ballot. The right of suffrage (which is held to ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Laziness. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree.
AMBROSE BIERCE Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
AMBROSE BIERCE Doubt is the father of invention.
AMBROSE BIERCE Life - a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
AMBROSE BIERCE Men become civilized, not in proportion to their willingness to believe, but in proportion to their ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Cabbage: a familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.
AMBROSE BIERCE Photograph: a picture painted by the sun without instruction in art.
AMBROSE BIERCE

More Ambrose Bierce

Destiny: A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure.
AMBROSE BIERCE Belladonna, n.: In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the e...
AMBROSE BIERCE Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.
AMBROSE BIERCE Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate.
AMBROSE BIERCE Immortality: A toy which people cry for, And on their knees apply for, Dispute, contend and lie for,...
AMBROSE BIERCE Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
AMBROSE BIERCE Suffrage, noun. Expression of opinion by means of a ballot. The right of suffrage (which is held to ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Laziness. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree.
AMBROSE BIERCE Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
AMBROSE BIERCE Doubt is the father of invention.
AMBROSE BIERCE Life - a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
AMBROSE BIERCE Men become civilized, not in proportion to their willingness to believe, but in proportion to their ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Cabbage: a familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.
AMBROSE BIERCE Photograph: a picture painted by the sun without instruction in art.
AMBROSE BIERCE Cynic, n: a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be.
AMBROSE BIERCE Deliberation, n.: The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on.
AMBROSE BIERCE Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Liberty:one of imaginations most precious possessions.
AMBROSE BIERCE Quoting: the act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
AMBROSE BIERCE Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.
AMBROSE BIERCE Success is the one unpardonable sin against our fellows.
AMBROSE BIERCE Optimist: a proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
AMBROSE BIERCE Litigant: a person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bone.
AMBROSE BIERCE Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.
AMBROSE BIERCE Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.
AMBROSE BIERCE OCEAN, n. A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man -- who has no gills.
AMBROSE BIERCE ZEAL, n. A certain nervous disorder afflicting the young and inexperienced. A passion that goeth b...
AMBROSE BIERCE For every man there is something in the vocabulary that would stick to him like a second skin. His e...
AMBROSE BIERCE Education, n.: That which discloses the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understand...
AMBROSE BIERCE Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
AMBROSE BIERCE Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
AMBROSE BIERCE Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
AMBROSE BIERCE You don't have to be stupid to be a Christian, ... but it probably helps.
AMBROSE BIERCE Ocean, n. A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man — who has no g...
AMBROSE BIERCE Fidelity. A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
AMBROSE BIERCE Incompatibility. In matrimony a similarity of tastes, particularly the taste for domination.
AMBROSE BIERCE The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity.
AMBROSE BIERCE Marriage. The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress and two slaves, m...
AMBROSE BIERCE Bride. A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
AMBROSE BIERCE What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republi...
AMBROSE BIERCE Nominee. A modest gentleman shrinking from the distinction of private life and diligently seeking th...
AMBROSE BIERCE Learning. The kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious.
AMBROSE BIERCE Consult. To seek another's approval of a course already decided on.
AMBROSE BIERCE Happiness is an agreeable sensation, arising from contemplating the misery of others.
AMBROSE BIERCE Life. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
AMBROSE BIERCE Acquaintance: a degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor or obscure, and intimate ...
AMBROSE BIERCE An acquaintance is someone we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.
AMBROSE BIERCE A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
AMBROSE BIERCE Beauty. The power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.
AMBROSE BIERCE Let me tell you what a writer is. A writer takes comprehensive views, holds large convictions, makes...
AMBROSE BIERCE Corporation. An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility.
AMBROSE BIERCE Don't steal; thou it never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.
AMBROSE BIERCE Philanthropist. A rich (and usually bald) old gentleman who has trained himself to grin while his co...
AMBROSE BIERCE Age. That period of life in which we compound for the vices that remain by reviling those we have no...
AMBROSE BIERCE Success is the one unpardonable sin against one's fellows.
AMBROSE BIERCE Education is that which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understan...
AMBROSE BIERCE Destiny. A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure.
AMBROSE BIERCE Edible. Good to eat and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pi...
AMBROSE BIERCE Knowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify.
AMBROSE BIERCE Erudition. Dust shaken out of a book into an empty skull.
AMBROSE BIERCE Saint. A dead sinner revised and edited.
AMBROSE BIERCE Insurrection. An unsuccessful revolution; disaffection's failure to substitute misrule for bad gover...
AMBROSE BIERCE Revolution is an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment.
AMBROSE BIERCE Impiety. Your irreverence toward my deity.
AMBROSE BIERCE Deliberation. The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on.
AMBROSE BIERCE Take not God's name in vain; select a time when it will have effect.
AMBROSE BIERCE A prejudice is a vagrant opinion without visible means of support.
AMBROSE BIERCE Bigot, one who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain.
AMBROSE BIERCE Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly un...
AMBROSE BIERCE Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration t...
AMBROSE BIERCE Admiration; is our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.
AMBROSE BIERCE To bother about the best method of accomplishing an accidental result.
AMBROSE BIERCE A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
AMBROSE BIERCE All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
AMBROSE BIERCE A lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves a glorious success.
AMBROSE BIERCE Peace, in international affairs, is a period of cheating between two periods of fighting.
AMBROSE BIERCE Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
AMBROSE BIERCE Optimism. The doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
AMBROSE BIERCE An optimist is a proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
AMBROSE BIERCE They say that hens do cackle loudest when there is nothing vital in the eggs they have laid.
AMBROSE BIERCE Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
AMBROSE BIERCE Heaven lies about us in our infancy and the world begins lying about us pretty soon afterward.
AMBROSE BIERCE As records of courts and justice are admissible, it can easily be proved that powerful and malevolen...
AMBROSE BIERCE Before undergoing a surgical operation, arrange your temporal affairs. You may live.
AMBROSE BIERCE Politeness -- The most acceptable hypocrisy.
AMBROSE BIERCE A man is known by the company he organizes.
AMBROSE BIERCE Logic, n. The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapaciti...
AMBROSE BIERCE Enthusiasm. A distemper of youth, curable by small doses of repentance in connection with outward ap...
AMBROSE BIERCE Egotist. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than me.
AMBROSE BIERCE An egotist is a person interested in himself than in me!
AMBROSE BIERCE Duty. That which sternly impels us in the direction of profit, along the line of desire.
AMBROSE BIERCE Opiate. An unlocked door in the prison of Identity. It leads into the jail yard.
AMBROSE BIERCE Insurance: An ingenious modern game of chance in which the player is permitted to enjoy the comforta...
AMBROSE BIERCE Backbite. To speak of a man as you find him when he can't find you.
AMBROSE BIERCE Alien. An American sovereign in his probationary state.
AMBROSE BIERCE Miss: A title with which we brand unmarried women to indicate that they are in the market. Miss, Mis...
AMBROSE BIERCE Witticism. A sharp and clever remark, usually quoted and seldom noted; what the Philistine is please...
AMBROSE BIERCE Wit. The salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out.
AMBROSE BIERCE A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man, who has no gills.
AMBROSE BIERCE Impartial. Unable to perceive any promise of personal advantage from espousing either side of a cont...
AMBROSE BIERCE Dog. A kind of additional or subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the worl...
AMBROSE BIERCE Physician -- One upon whom we set our hopes when ill and our dogs when well.
AMBROSE BIERCE Divorce. A resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.
AMBROSE BIERCE Consul. In American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is give...
AMBROSE BIERCE Forgetfulness. A gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscien...
AMBROSE BIERCE A cynic is a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, and not as they ought to be.
AMBROSE BIERCE Confidante. One entrusted by A with the secrets of B confided to herself by C.
AMBROSE BIERCE The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.
AMBROSE BIERCE Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is ...
AMBROSE BIERCE A funeral is a pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker.
AMBROSE BIERCE An accident is an inevitable occurrence due to the actions of immutable natural laws.
AMBROSE BIERCE To apologize is to lay the foundation for a future offense.
AMBROSE BIERCE An account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly k...
AMBROSE BIERCE Historian. A broad -- gauge gossip.
AMBROSE BIERCE Habit is a shackle for the free.
AMBROSE BIERCE Laughter -- An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarti...
AMBROSE BIERCE Litigant. A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones.
AMBROSE BIERCE Appeal. In law, to put the dice into the box for another throw.
AMBROSE BIERCE Trial. A formal inquiry designed to prove and put upon record the blameless characters of judges, ad...
AMBROSE BIERCE Experience is a revelation in the light of which we renounce our errors of youth for those of age.
AMBROSE BIERCE Experience. The wisdom that enables us to recognize in an undesirable old acquaintance the folly tha...
AMBROSE BIERCE The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
AMBROSE BIERCE PROPHECY, n. The art and practice of selling one's credibility for future delivery.
AMBROSE BIERCE When in Rome, do as Rome does.
AMBROSE BIERCE To be positive: to be mistaken at the top of one's voice.
AMBROSE BIERCE Censor, n. An officer of certain governments, employed to supress the works of genius. Among the Rom...
AMBROSE BIERCE Bore -- a person who talks when you wish him to listen.
AMBROSE BIERCE Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by frie...
AMBROSE BIERCE Irreligion. The principal one of the great faiths of the world.
AMBROSE BIERCE Faith: Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things withou...
AMBROSE BIERCE Architect. One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.
AMBROSE BIERCE Genealogy. An account of one's descent from an ancestor who did not particularly care to trace his o...
AMBROSE BIERCE Absurdity. A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.
AMBROSE BIERCE Abstainer. A weak man who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
AMBROSE BIERCE Woman absent is woman dead.
AMBROSE BIERCE The covers of this book are too far apart.
AMBROSE BIERCE Abscond. To move in a mysterious way, commonly with the property of another.
AMBROSE BIERCE Creditor. One of a tribe of savages dwelling beyond the Financial Straits and dreaded for their deso...
AMBROSE BIERCE A coward is one who in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs.
AMBROSE BIERCE Conservative. A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from a Liberal, who wi...
AMBROSE BIERCE The Senate is a body of old men charged with high duties and misdemeanors.
AMBROSE BIERCE Compromise. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction of ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Alliance. In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserte...
AMBROSE BIERCE ALLIANCE, n. In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply in...
AMBROSE BIERCE Acquaintance is a degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor and obscure, and intima...
AMBROSE BIERCE ARSENIC, n. A kind of cosmetic greatly affected by the ladies, whom it greatly affects in turn."Eat ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Compromise. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction o...
AMBROSE BIERCE Convent. A place of retirement for women who wish for leisure to meditate upon the sin of idleness.
AMBROSE BIERCE Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.
AMBROSE BIERCE International arbitration may be defined as the substitution of many burning questions for a smoulde...
AMBROSE BIERCE DIPLOMACY, n. Lying in state, or the patriotic art of lying for one's country.
AMBROSE BIERCE Calamities are of two kinds. Misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
AMBROSE BIERCE Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
AMBROSE BIERCE A bride is a woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
AMBROSE BIERCE Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic.
AMBROSE BIERCE There are 4 kinds of Homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy.
AMBROSE BIERCE FIDELITY, n. A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
AMBROSE BIERCE ZOOLOGY, n. The science and history of the animal kingdom, including its king, the House Fly ("Mus...
AMBROSE BIERCE HIPPOGRIFF, n. An animal (now extinct) which was half horse and half griffin. The griffin was a com...
AMBROSE BIERCE ZENITH, n. The point in the heavens directly overhead to a man standing or a growing cabbage. A m...
AMBROSE BIERCE YANKEE, n. In Europe, an American. In the Northern States of our Union, a New Englander. In the So...
AMBROSE BIERCE Hypocrisy: prejudice with a halo
AMBROSE BIERCE Forgetfulness. A gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscie...
AMBROSE BIERCE One who is in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs.
AMBROSE BIERCE OBSESSED, p.p. Vexed by an evil spirit, like the Gadarene swine and other critics. Obsession was onc...
AMBROSE BIERCE Optimism. The doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
AMBROSE BIERCE Women and foxes, being weak, are distinguished by superior tact.
AMBROSE BIERCE Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited.
AMBROSE BIERCE QUEEN, n. A woman by whom the realm is ruled when there is a king, and through whom it is ruled wh...
AMBROSE BIERCE When you are ill make haste to forgive your enemies, for you may recover.
AMBROSE BIERCE Electricity seems destined to play a most important part in the arts and industries. The question of...
AMBROSE BIERCE Electricity is the power that causes all natural phenomena not known to be caused by something else.
AMBROSE BIERCE ECCENTRICITY, n. A method of distinction so cheap that fools employ it to accentuate their incapaci...
AMBROSE BIERCE LAND, n. A part of the earth's surface, considered as property. The theory that land is property s...
AMBROSE BIERCE The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.
AMBROSE BIERCE Birth: The first and direst of all disasters.
AMBROSE BIERCE Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.
AMBROSE BIERCE Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affai...
AMBROSE BIERCE Amnesty, n. The state's magnanimity to those offenders whom it would be too expensive to punish.
AMBROSE BIERCE Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.
AMBROSE BIERCE Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.
AMBROSE BIERCE Famous, adj.: Conspicuously miserable.
AMBROSE BIERCE Positive, adj.: Mistaken at the top of one's voice.
AMBROSE BIERCE Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
AMBROSE BIERCE Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth ke...
AMBROSE BIERCE Dog - a kind of additional or subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the wor...
AMBROSE BIERCE Acquaintance. A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.
AMBROSE BIERCE Perseverance - a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.
AMBROSE BIERCE Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Prescription: A physician's guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the...
AMBROSE BIERCE Lawsuit: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
AMBROSE BIERCE Compromise, n. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction ...
AMBROSE BIERCE The best thing to do with the best things in life is to give them up.
AMBROSE BIERCE TELEPHONE n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeab...
AMBROSE BIERCE Egotist, n. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me.
AMBROSE BIERCE Positive, adj.: Mistaken at the top of one's voice.
AMBROSE BIERCE Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.
AMBROSE BIERCE Sweater, n. Garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
AMBROSE BIERCE Sabbath - a weekly festival having its origin in the fact that God made the world in six days and wa...
AMBROSE BIERCE