I don't know why my brain has kept all the words to the Gilligan's Island theme song and has deleted everything about triangles.

Jeff Foxworthy's Redneck Dictionary: Words You Knew the Meaning Of

My father-in-law gets up at 5 o'clock in the morning and watches the Discovery Channel. I don't know why there's this big rush to do this.

When you get to your third millionth frequent flyer mile, I think something snaps in your brain.

When I first started out, being from the South and going to New York or Chicago, people kept telling me to get voice lessons and 'lose that stupid accent you got.' And I'm like, 'Well, where I come from, you have the stupid accent.'

Country music is about new love and it's about old love.