I have nothing but respect for you -- and not much of that.
Groucho Marx
Related
I was always a fan of Groucho Marx as a kid.
MICHAEL FELDMAN The world would not be in such a snarl,/ had Marx been Groucho instead of Karl.
IRVING BERLIN The world would not be in such a snarl, had Marx been Groucho instead of Karl.
IRVING BERLIN Up there with my awards, I have a great big statue of Groucho Marx, just to put everything in perspe...
JOHN LITHGOW The only real laughter comes from despair.
GROUCHO MARX I’ll put off reading Lolita for six more years until she turns 18.
GROUCHO MARX The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made. Life is a ...
GROUCHO MARX We have nothing now between us, save - respect, perhaps. And I think that respect has maybe room for...
DIANA GABALDON I am sure that, on the one hand, the Rothschilds appreciate the merits of Marx, and that on the othe...
MIKHAIL BAKUNIN The real achievement of Woody Allen was that he was making movies that felt very personal, and for a...
NOAH BAUMBACH When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell...
LINDA KAGE Throughout my life, there are four people I've met who were truly original people. The other thr...
ALICE COOPER I could dance with you till the cows come home. Better still, I'll dance with the cows and you come ...
GROUCHO MARX There are things that I canna tell you, at least not yet. And I'll ask nothing of ye that ye canna g...
DIANA GABALDON I was changing a light bulb over Groucho Marx's bed, so I took my shoes off, got on his bed and ...
ELLIOTT GOULD I have nothing but respect for 1D. They are great lads.
JAMES ARTHUR I have nothing against Dylan O'Brien! He's one of my favorite people. I have so much respect...
KATHERINE MCNAMARA Don't look now, but there's one too many in this room and I think it's you
GROUCHO MARX You have to do something in this league to attain stature. And then, with that, comes respect. Respe...
DAVE MCGINNIS People who pretend to be your friend lead you up a garden path by saying everything that you want to...
GARY F EVANS... I have nothing but respect for the Lakers. So many of their legends shaped who I am as a person and ...
BILL WALTON I'm a huge Groucho fan. There were some great comic minds that would transfer into any generatio...
JOE ROGAN I like to exhilarate the audience like Groucho Marx exhilarated me when I was a kid. Also, I enjoy d...
FRANK FERRANTE As I grow older, I become more and more of a Marxist - Groucho, that is. When you have lived two-thi...
KAREN DECROW According to the wire, you are resting well and are being taken care of by a nurse. I hope she is be...
GROUCHO MARX The only power they have is by the respect that the people have for them, and if people lose that re...
INGRID SEWARD Please tell me of your love and respect for Yahweh, Allah, Jesus, or even Marx. Just don’t force i...
RADIKALMODERATE He put Edison on the map because a long time ago teams had no respect for Edison. I have nothing but...
CIP SANCHEZ I see similarities between the two and it's not just that they both won't curse or scream or yell. B...
CHRIS CAPUTO I am very proud to say that America is my home! I have so much respect for this country and the peop...
CAMILA ALVES I have so much respect for policy makers and diplomats, but I could never be a politician because of...
AZITA GHANIZADA I suppose that I have not many months to live: but of course I know nothing about it. I may add that...
HENRY DAVID THOREAU Fresno battled and battled, and you want to have a rival like that. I have so much respect for them....
GREG PATTON I respect you as my king, and I respect you as my father, but I do not respect you as a man!
REBECCA MCKINSEY He's such a good actor and he loves the Groucho character so much he made a study of him.
ARTHUR MARX I have so much respect for directors. It's a tremendous amount of pressure; you have to keep ste...
ROBERT DE NIRO Like I said, I've got too much respect for women to marry them, but that doesn't mean you can't supp...
SYLVESTER STALLONE The genius of the Marx Brothers is for parody. They never are themselves. They exist too abundantly ...
MARK VAN DOREN I am a Marxist... of the Groucho tendency.
SOURCE UNKNOWN I am a Marxist--of the Groucho tendency.
ANONYMOUS But they can play. We respect them very much. You have to.
JOE ROSS You buy so little and ask for even less, which makes me want to spoil you. That’s not how I grew u...
N.D. JONES You can't be that or that or that... but you can try to behave as that...
So, what next!?...
DEYTH BANGER They told us, ‘You don't have the capacity, you lack the technical ability and the moral fiber...
CHARLES MCGEE They told us, ‘You don't have the capacity, you lack the technical ability and the moral fiber' .....
CHARLES MCGEE She inspires us. I have so much respect for her.
KAITLIN SOWINSKI I have enormous friendship and respect with Tom Daschle. Always have had and always will have. And I...
RICHARD GEPHARDT I have granted you much that you asked: and yet you never cease
to ask of me. He who refuses noth...
MARCUS VALERIUS MARTIAL I'd always heard stories about how Harpo Marx was the most talkative of the Marx brothers. I fou...
HARMONY KORINE I have so much respect for him, and I don't even think he will mind.
ALEXANDER MCQUEEN We're not [a chemistry class]. We understand this. But [the students will] respect you if you respec...
JASON WANG I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it
GROUCHO MARX It's kind of hard to retain the feminine. I have so much respect for the feminine, but it's ...
LAUREN SOUTHERN I don't believe war is a way to solve problems. I think it's wrong. I don't have respect for the peo...
AVRIL LAVIGNE I do not have respect for you who takes advantage of the soul that is kind and giving, for it is you...
C.C. FRANKLIN I'd like to be for cinema what Shakespeare was for theatre, Marx for politics and Freud for psyc...
RAINER WERNER FASSBINDER I have given you your liberty, Lucius, is that not enough for you? But I have noticed that you and y...
J.K. ROWLING I may not be old but I’m too old to have this much nothing
JONATHAN TROPPER All that I did," she said, "everything I tried to do. All for nothing."
Nothing is done ...
NEIL GAIMAN When people criticize me for not having any respect for existing structures and institutions, I prot...
MYLES HORTON John is doing the best job that he possibly can do with the situation that he was dealt with. I have...
ISIAH THOMAS You have too much respect upon the world: They lose it that do buy it with much care. -The Merchant...
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE Bitterness and hatred do not reside here. I feel nothing but love for you. And throughout it all, no...
TIFFANY - ANGèLE EATON When you think that everyone around you is wrong and only you have the right answer, your arrogance ...
DR ANIL KUMAR SINHA I have nothing but confidence in you, and very little of that
GROUCHO MARX His attention means nothing if you don't have his respect.
STEPHAN LABOSSIERE Some photographers could vomit on a piece of paper and call it art, you know... Hang it in the Gugge...
PANSY SCHNEIDER-HORST You cannot live to please everyone else. You have to edify, educate and fulfill your own dreams and ...
OCTAVIA SPENCER I am not here to parade my religious sentiments, but I declare I have too much respect for the faith...
WILFRID LAURIER The thing that made Groucho special was the way he used his body parts. He also had a wicked tongue....
SIDNEY SHELDON Through the broad extent of country over which you have marched by your respect for the rights and p...
THOMAS STONEWALL JACKSON I need so much time for doing nothing that I have no time for work.
PIERRE REVERDY The most important ingredient we put into any relationship is not what we say or what we do, but wha...
STEPHEN R. COVEY I learned to give, not because I have much. But because I know exactly how it feels to have nothing.
OLASOT It is not desirable to cultivate a respect for law, so much as a respect for right.
HENRY DAVID THOREAU The greatest reward for your actions is not the respect you gain from others but the respect you gai...
T JAY TAYLOR The greatest reward for your actions is not the respect you gain from others but the respect you gai...
T JAY TAYLORLOR We have so much respect for each other.
JOSH PEAVEY I have too much respect for the idea of God to make it responsible for such an absurd world.
GEORGES DUHAMEL There is no person who is happier for me, ... He's been nothing but supportive and we have such a mu...
GARRETT WOLFE Money is not respect. Neither is power. And if people respect you for your money or your power, it i...
CHRISTINA ENGELA It's not so much what's expected of you, because you always shoot for the moon, and if you miss, you...
WARREN SAPP You can have a certain arrogance, and I think that's fine, but what you should never lose is the...
STEFFI GRAF We respect the result of the election, and we respect the people and the government, but this doesn'...
ABU HASSAN Believe nothing merely because you have been told it. Do not believe what your teacher tells you mer...
BUDDHA Believe nothing merely because you have been told it. Do not believe what your teacher tells you mer...
BUDDHA He's very gracious to a young coach, as far as even knowing who somebody like me is. I have nothing ...
MICK CRONIN I would have given him a lesser fine if it were not for that, but I stopped short of banning him for...
CLIVE LLOYD It is not the opinion of the common man that matters, but the opinion of men for whom you admire and...
BOHDI SANDERS I surely want to win this game, but I have a lot of respect for those seniors at that school and the...
LARRY THOMPSON Do not be too moral. You may cheat yourself out of much life so.
Aim above morality.
Be not si...
HENRY DAVID THOREAU They have that kind of edge to them. I sat them down and talked about not saying too much. Just come...
ERIC KIESAU I was never much of a musical theater guy, but I have so much more respect for the art form, the phy...
CHRIS PINE You and I may have never met, but I already know so much of what you want: to be happy and feel valu...
SUSAN C. YOUNG Having difficulties in life is nothing but only a matter of choice.
VIKRANT PARSAI Mama says that satisfaction isn't what I should search for. Respect is. Respect?
I detest that ...
MELINA MARCHETTA I just think it's better for the team to know they have to look at one person on the floor. I have t...
MUFFET MCGRAW I have a great love and respect for religion, great love and respect for atheism. What I hate is agn...
ORSON WELLES I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.
GROUCHO MARX The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
GROUCHO MARX
More Groucho Marx
I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.
GROUCHO MARX The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
GROUCHO MARX Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
GROUCHO MARX I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west ...
GROUCHO MARX I intend to live forever, or die trying.
GROUCHO MARX I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?
GROUCHO MARX Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men--the other 999 follow women.
GROUCHO MARX Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.
GROUCHO MARX One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife.
GROUCHO MARX Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
GROUCHO MARX No man goes before his time -- unless the boss leaves early.
GROUCHO MARX Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.
GROUCHO MARX The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can't fool around. If you write about som...
GROUCHO MARX Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.
GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day...
GROUCHO MARX The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open
GROUCHO MARX Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman. Then if you can get the dog to go...
GROUCHO MARX I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and...
GROUCHO MARX I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yes...
GROUCHO MARX I am so broke, I can't even afford to fill up my bicycle.
GROUCHO MARX How does the healthy dog bark? Ruff Ruff.
How does the cold dog bark ? Scarf Scarf.
How...
GROUCHO MARX I think it is good that books still exist, but they do make me sleepy.
GROUCHO MARX I have a new philosophy. I'm only going to dread one day at a time.
GROUCHO MARX Insurance is like marriage. You pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back.
GROUCHO MARX Friends are chocolate chips in the cookie of life!
GROUCHO MARX What did the dog say after walking in the desert for hours? If I don't find a tree soon I'm gonna p...
GROUCHO MARX I'm a Nillionaire. I have little to no money!
GROUCHO MARX One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.
GROUCHO MARX If aliens saw us walking our dogs and picking up their poop, who would they think is in charge?
GROUCHO MARX A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
GROUCHO MARX I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell...
GROUCHO MARX Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
GROUCHO MARX Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
GROUCHO MARX I worked myself up from nothing to extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX Look at me. I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.
GROUCHO MARX Although it is generally known, I think it's about time to announce that I was born at a very early ...
GROUCHO MARX I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX There is one way to find out if a man is honest; ask him! If he says yes you know he's crooked.
GROUCHO MARX There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of ones fellow man.
GROUCHO MARX I eat like a vulture. Unfortunately the resemblance doesn't end there.
GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
GROUCHO MARX I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. The recipes were to be the routine ones: how to make d...
GROUCHO MARX A clown is like aspirin, only he works twice as fast.
GROUCHO MARX I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.
GROUCHO MARX My mother loved children--she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX Whoever named it necking is a poor judge of anatomy.
GROUCHO MARX No man goes before his time / unless the boss leaves early.
GROUCHO MARX The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made. Life is a ...
GROUCHO MARX Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it, and then misapplying the w...
GROUCHO MARX No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
GROUCHO MARX While money can't buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
GROUCHO MARX I find television very educational. Every time someone switches it on I go into another room and rea...
GROUCHO MARX If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.
GROUCHO MARX The first thing which I can record concerning myself is, that I was born. These are wonderful words....
GROUCHO MARX Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
GROUCHO MARX I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
GROUCHO MARX Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
GROUCHO MARX Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
GROUCHO MARX Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
GROUCHO MARX In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom.
GROUCHO MARX I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
GROUCHO MARX I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.
GROUCHO MARX She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course.
GROUCHO MARX A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
GROUCHO MARX Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
GROUCHO MARX All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats.
GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I...
GROUCHO MARX I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX Before I speak, I have something important to say.
GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.
GROUCHO MARX Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
GROUCHO MARX Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
GROUCHO MARX A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
GROUCHO MARX I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.
GROUCHO MARX I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.
GROUCHO MARX Humor is reason gone mad.
GROUCHO MARX One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.
GROUCHO MARX Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
GROUCHO MARX I wish to be cremated. One tenth of my ashes shall be given to my agent, as written in our contract.
GROUCHO MARX I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX I've got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.
GROUCHO MARX He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
GROUCHO MARX I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
GROUCHO MARX I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yes...
GROUCHO MARX Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and app...
GROUCHO MARX I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to be rid of it.
GROUCHO MARX Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.
GROUCHO MARX Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
GROUCHO MARX Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
GROUCHO MARX All geniuses die young.
GROUCHO MARX There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, 'Yes,' you know he...
GROUCHO MARX I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every...
GROUCHO MARX We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her sta...
GROUCHO MARX I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a ...
GROUCHO MARX She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
GROUCHO MARX I do not care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
GROUCHO MARX No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
GROUCHO MARX My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of one's fellow man.
GROUCHO MARX She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the live of the party.
GROUCHO MARX I'd horsewhip you if I had a horse.
GROUCHO MARX In America you can go on the air and kid the politicians, and the politicians can go on the air and ...
GROUCHO MARX Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book -and does
GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I...
GROUCHO MARX Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
GROUCHO MARX Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
GROUCHO MARX There's one way to find out if a man is honest-ask him. If he says, "Yes," you know he is a crook.
GROUCHO MARX She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is han...
GROUCHO MARX Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
GROUCHO MARX It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.
GROUCHO MARX I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX I sent the club a wire stating, PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THA...
GROUCHO MARX I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX I could dance with you until the cows come home. On second thought I'd rather dance with the cows ...
GROUCHO MARX Go, and never darken my towels again.
GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day ...
GROUCHO MARX Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long e...
GROUCHO MARX My mother loved children -- she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
GROUCHO MARX We dont like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out. Well, art is art, isnt it? Still, on t...
GROUCHO MARX I don't have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They're upstairs in my socks.
GROUCHO MARX Women should be obscene and not heard.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't want to belong to any club
that will accept me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough
GROUCHO MARX I was going to thrash them within an inch of their lives, but I didn't have a tape measure
GROUCHO MARX The secret of success is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake those, you’ve got it made.”
GROUCHO MARX Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?
GROUCHO MARX My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you ...
GROUCHO MARX My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually te...
GROUCHO MARX Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
GROUCHO MARX If income tax is the price you have to pay to keep the government on its feet, alimony is the price ...
GROUCHO MARX Don’t ever underestimate the importance of money. I know it’s often been said that money won’t...
GROUCHO MARX I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library ...
GROUCHO MARX You've got the brain of a four-year-old boy, and I bet he was glad to get rid of it
GROUCHO MARX Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX [When Judy Garland lost the 1954 best actress Oscar to Grace Kelly in] The Country Girl, ... Dear Ju...
GROUCHO MARX I was so long writing my review that I never got around to reading the book.
GROUCHO MARX Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does
GROUCHO MARX Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana
GROUCHO MARX Money will not make you happy, and happy will not make you money
GROUCHO MARX Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men, the other 999 follow women
GROUCHO MARX A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
GROUCHO MARX Here's to our wives and girlfriends...may they never meet!
GROUCHO MARX Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have...
GROUCHO MARX If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
GROUCHO MARX Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, and I'm going to be happy in it...
GROUCHO MARX I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.
GROUCHO MARX If you're not having fun, you're doing something wrong.
GROUCHO MARX One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I'll never know.
GROUCHO MARX Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.
GROUCHO MARX Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I...
GROUCHO MARX It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member
GROUCHO MARX I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. . . . I think a lot of people who hate literature but ...
GROUCHO MARX Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.
GROUCHO MARX I'm giving you 30 days to live.
GROUCHO MARX She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the life of the party
GROUCHO MARX Believe me, you have to get up early if you want to get out of bed
GROUCHO MARX A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
GROUCHO MARX And I want to thank you for all the enjoyment you've taken out of it.
GROUCHO MARX Remember, we're fighting for this woman's honor, which is probably far more than she's ever done!
GROUCHO MARX Hey, when I said work fast, I didn't mean your friend, I meant the maid.
GROUCHO MARX Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?
GROUCHO MARX I have nothing but confidence in you, and very little of that
GROUCHO MARX A man's only as old as the woman he feels.
GROUCHO MARX Blood's not thicker than money
GROUCHO MARX I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.
GROUCHO MARX Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!
GROUCHO MARX The only real laughter comes from despair.
GROUCHO MARX Q: What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic?
A: Someone who stay...
GROUCHO MARX Either this man is dead
or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a man's best friend is a book. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child. I...
GROUCHO MARX I cannot say that I do not disagree with you
GROUCHO MARX I would never belong to a group that would accept someone like me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX Years ago, I tried to top everybody, but I don't anymore, I realized it was killing conversation. Wh...
GROUCHO MARX Remember men, we're fighting for this woman's honor; which is probably more than she ever did.
GROUCHO MARX I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member
GROUCHO MARX Did I ever tell you how I shot a wild elephant in my pyjamas? How he got into my pyjamas I'll never ...
GROUCHO MARX