I'm not a vegetarian, but I eat animals who are

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend on reading it.

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.

What did the dog say after walking in the desert for hours? If I don't find a tree soon I'm gonna pee on myself.

If aliens saw us walking our dogs and picking up their poop, who would they think is in charge?