One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.

If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.

I'm not a vegetarian, but I eat animals who are

Don't look now, but there's one too many in this room and I think it's you

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend on reading it.

Marriage is a great institution, but who wants to live in an institution?