The thing that I think is the most important is taking moments to express your appreciation to your ...
MICHAEL IAN BLACK Wish I could, through my own financial prestidigitation, transform a dollar bill into two, or two mi...
MICHAEL IAN BLACK My first real break was when my college sketch troupe, The State, was asked to contribute pieces for...
MICHAEL IAN BLACK I actually don't know anyone who wants to be famous for fame's sake, at least not anyone I r...
MICHAEL IAN BLACK I take it for what it is, and sometimes the criticism is actually useful and constructive and actual...
MICHAEL IAN BLACK Most of the time, you don't win anything on reality shows. You're booted off, or maybe you w...
MICHAEL IAN BLACK I don't think I was awake for much of my childhood. I did a lot of napping. This might have been...
MICHAEL IAN BLACK Well, I think my stand-up is often kind of visual. Not like Carrot Top visual, but visual.
MICHAEL IAN BLACK If you get an idea, you might as well stick with it until somebody calls you on it.
MICHAEL IAN BLACK People recognize me, but they don't know where from. Today I was in the elevator and somebody as...
MICHAEL IAN BLACK I am not a music snob. If anything, my musical taste is bad by any critical standards.
MICHAEL IAN BLACK At this point, I feel fairly comfortable in terms of performance. I think having a sketch background...
MICHAEL IAN BLACK Best strategy for a first date is to ask her questions. Just keeping asking her questions about hers...
MICHAEL IAN BLACK There is no word for feeling nostalgic about the future, but that's what a parent's tears of...
MICHAEL IAN BLACK Separation is the worst. There's no good way to deal with it, other than to get on the phone and...
MICHAEL IAN BLACK I don't watch that much comedy. I think it's professional jealousy. That and a lack of suppo...
MICHAEL IAN BLACK I honestly believe you can never tell if a relationship is going to last. In my own marriage, which ...
MICHAEL IAN BLACK Nothing is more satisfying to me than sitting in a dank room, hunched over a single flickering candl...
MICHAEL IAN BLACK Lordy, lordy, lordy do I love money. It is a character flaw, no doubt, one that springs from a panic...
MICHAEL IAN BLACK I am a poker player, but I am not a good poker player. My favorite game is seven card stud, but I...
MICHAEL IAN BLACK Your harshest critic is always going to be yourself. Don't ignore that critic but don't give...
MICHAEL IAN BLACK All the work that I do, whether or not it ends up being commercially successful or not, feels like t...
MICHAEL IAN BLACK I loved 'Dungeons & Dragons.' Actually, not so much the actual playing as the creation o...
MICHAEL IAN BLACK My tastes in all things lean towards the arty and boring. I like sports documentaries about Scrabble...
MICHAEL IAN BLACK My absolute favorite growing up was 'Super Friends.' The assemblage of so many mighty heroes...
MICHAEL IAN BLACK I think people hate me pretty much across the board, which is nice. I mean, it's a pretty evenha...
MICHAEL IAN BLACK I feel like my career has been a series of glowing obituaries.
MICHAEL IAN BLACK That's what you're supposed to do in real estate. It's a classic example of buying low and selling h...
IAN BLACK Basically I wake up in the morning and I think everything's going to be great. I'm really ki...
LEWIS BLACK There is no pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.
KAREN BLACK I love coloring books. I keep some by my bed.
KAREN BLACK I've been invited to do a trio with a fantastic jazz guitarist and a harmonica player.
KAREN BLACK If I turn on the television, am I to believe that that is America? I'm sorry, I don't believ...
KAREN BLACK If you didn't know that I am an actress, I don't think you could tell from my lifestyle. I c...
KAREN BLACK I dislike when people try to pigeonhole me, when all I want is to do good work.
KAREN BLACK I am the least intimidating person. I think I would have done better in my career if I were a little...
KAREN BLACK I love what I do, so it's not tiring. If I worked at a computer or drove a truck, I'd be dea...
KAREN BLACK I love playing strong women, even if they're nuts.
KAREN BLACK If you can write it, I can be it.
KAREN BLACK Back in the '70s, like one of my favorite movies ever was 'The Bad News Bears', and that...
JACK BLACK Let's face it, the great comedians now that are handicapped in the looks department are tremendo...
JACK BLACK I think of myself as an entertainment arsenal. Like I have my acting bazooka and my music machete. A...
JACK BLACK I just remember the early days of Tenacious D. There was no talk or thought about doing a TV show or...
JACK BLACK I like being married. I'm at home with my wife and kids all the time now. I don't go out for...
JACK BLACK My parents were very supportive of me and my artistic endeavours. My father and mother came to every...
JACK BLACK When it's a bad movie you want to release it quietly. You try to keep it a secret like an STD.
JACK BLACK The movie Spinal Tap rocked my world. It's for rock what The Sound of Music was for hills. They ...
JACK BLACK It's a tough transition really for theater actors to adjust to television or film, and all of th...
JACK BLACK I'd just like to be in films that I would like to see.
JACK BLACK There's something about a divorce in that even if your parents still love you, the fact that the...
JACK BLACK There's nothing you can really do to prepare to rock. Do you prepare to eat a delicious meal? Ar...
JACK BLACK We're in the dark ages if J-Lo can have a music career because of her ass. And let's face it...
JACK BLACK I played, like, a year of piano until I learned the 'Pink Panther' theme. That was my goal. ...
JACK BLACK Push-ups, sit-ups, and a strict diet of raisins. That's my plan.
JACK BLACK The real challenge is if you don't look super sexy, like a Brad Pitt, you're going to have t...
JACK BLACK I'd rather be the king of kids, than the prince of fools.
JACK BLACK With the acting, it's somebody else's brainchild, and I'm just sort of helping flesh it ...
JACK BLACK When you think about rock at its origin, and you think of the Beatles and millions of kids screaming...
JACK BLACK I don't have any real spirituality in my life - I'm kind of an atheist - but when music can ...
JACK BLACK When I was a kid, I thought I was the strongest man in the world. Then, the fastest runner and then ...
JACK BLACK My children are magical creatures and I love them to death.
JACK BLACK My idea of baking is buying a ready-make cake mix and throwing in an egg.
CILLA BLACK All emphasis in American prisons is on punishment, retribution, and disparagement, and almost none i...
CONRAD BLACK I really love the idea of the poetically mad - the character that is imbued with the romantic madnes...
HOLLY BLACK My father, a mining engineer and colliery manager, gave his brood many advantages, not least of whic...
JAMES BLACK What you don't do, if you're an adult, is decide that you're going to budget things thro...
LEWIS BLACK Whenever I tour my district and I ask small businesspeople 'what can I do to help?,' they te...
DIANE BLACK I drive a lot. Just for pleasure. Sometimes I'll get in the Cadillac and drive around the city o...
FRANK BLACK In addition to being a nurse, I'm also a small business owner and I taught at a local community ...
DIANE BLACK We're here tonight to remember one of the heroes of the Scottish culture, ... Cmdr. Montgomery Scott...
ALAN BLACK We rebounded really well and rebounding is the key if you are going to run,
ALAN BLACK He made me the man I am today: proud of being Scottish, proud to be the fixer, proud to save the cap...
ALAN BLACK Just because Scotty never got the girl, it did not mean he couldn't get a girlfriend, ... He was jus...
ALAN BLACK This is definitely a reality check for us, we've just got to learn from this and move on.
ALAN BLACK He is up there with the greatest the competition has seen. He is all over people with great foot spe...
ALAN BLACK He was a little down afterwards,
ALAN BLACK It was a very tough region, very tough competition and a very good golf course.
ALAN BLACK This is great, this is a step in the right direction, but as we all know in every other sport, distr...
ALAN BLACK It feels real good to see the kids do what they've done this season. They went undefeated (11-0 in t...
ALAN BLACK Being a playwright is like the equivalent of doing a jigsaw puzzle that has 1,500 pieces, and it'...
LEWIS BLACK To me I'm just a regular person going to the mall with friends, and now I'm in Forever 21 an...
REBECCA BLACK Clever as the Devil and twice as pretty.
HOLLY BLACK The real enemy" is the totality of physical and mental constraints by which capital, or class societ...
BOB BLACK You are what you do. If you do boring, stupid monotonous work, chances are you'll end up boring, stu...
BOB BLACK The first peace, which is the most important, is that which comes within the souls of people when th...
BLACK ELK If you're going to exude naivete, you can't really... walk out there like it's a Sting s...
FRANK BLACK And when I breathed, my breath was lightning.
BLACK ELK I read French much better than I speak.
CARA BLACK One of my assets is my fitness. My fitness around the net and my movement: that's my defense to ...
CARA BLACK Sport's always a good thing - it's healthy, and it takes your mind off other things.
CARA BLACK What makes it difficult for people trying to follow a dream is that the whole time you feel like you...
LEWIS BLACK I need you to be happy. I need one of us to be happy.
HOLLY BLACK I can learn to live with guilt. I don't care about being good.
HOLLY BLACK I think there are a lot of really positive aspects to social media for novelists. Even though our wo...
HOLLY BLACK They wore their strange beauty like war paint.
HOLLY BLACK If curiosity killed the cat, it was satisfaction that brought it back.
HOLLY BLACK Each of us is full of shit in our own special way. We are all shitty little snowflakes dancing in th...
LEWIS BLACK So you'll teach me?" Val asked.

Ravus nodded agin. "I will make you as terrible as you de...
HOLLY BLACK I got bored," he says. "Besides, you know what's creepier than walking around your dead brothers' ap...
HOLLY BLACK She loves the serene brutality of the ocean, loves the electric power she felt with each breath of w...
HOLLY BLACK It is the paradox of life that the way to miss pleasure is to seek it first. The very first conditio...
HUGO BLACK Big egos are big shields for lots of empty space.
DIANA BLACK A republican stands up in congress and says 'I GOT A REALLY BAD IDEA!!' and the democrat stands up a...
LEWIS BLACK Crippled things are always more beautiful. It's the flaw that brings out beauty.
HOLLY BLACK Baby," she says in a harsh whisper, "in this world, lots of people will try to grind you down. They ...
HOLLY BLACK Let me be serious: divorce is a sacred institution between a man and a woman who hate each other. Go...
LEWIS BLACK I once rode a motorcycle across Tunisia, Algeria and Morocco!
CARA BLACK I loved everything about show business, meeting the stars, the whole ambience. I was living every yo...
CILLA BLACK There's never really been a time when vampires weren't so over that you would be crazy to wr...
HOLLY BLACK In my lifetime, we've gone from Eisenhower to George W. Bush. We've gone from John F. Kenned...
LEWIS BLACK I've got stuff about airline mergers, which just shows that my stand-up is getting more insane b...
LEWIS BLACK Any time anyone fires bullets in an action movie that don't hit the target it immediately underm...
SHANE BLACK An action film can have too much action; picture an equaliser on a stereo, with all the knobs pegged...
SHANE BLACK I've had a blessed life. I've pulled back from trying to control my destiny and gone back to...
CILLA BLACK I never ask for mercy and seek no one's sympathy.
CONRAD BLACK When I was 40, my doctor advised me that a man in his 40s shouldn't play tennis. I heeded his ad...
HUGO BLACK The soldiers did go away and their towns were torn down; and in the Moon of Falling Leaves (November...
BLACK ELK And I say the sacred hoop of my people was one of the many hoops that made one circle, wide as dayli...
BLACK ELK When people come to my act any time after Thanksgiving, I usually say, You shouldn't be here. Yo...
LEWIS BLACK It's hard to watch your life unfold, and sad. Life changes.
CILLA BLACK Our Constitution was not written in the sands to be washed away by each wave of new judges blown in ...
HUGO BLACK I like indoor Christmas trees. And I like people who decorate their homes with lights and all that c...
LEWIS BLACK Illiteracy is rampant. People are out of communication.
KAREN BLACK 'Friday' is about hanging out with friends, having fun. I felt like it was my personality in...
REBECCA BLACK Sometimes dreams are wiser than waking.
BLACK ELK I make a mean peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
JACK BLACK You must never underestimate the power of the eyebrow.
JACK BLACK She looks honestly upset, but then, I’ve learned that I can’t read her. The problem with a reall...
HOLLY BLACK If we're not going to tax the rich anymore, we're going to create class warfare.
LEWIS BLACK Misogynist is a word used by women about men who are able to describe women directly and accurately ...
ROBERT BLACK People said that video games were bad because they made you numb to death, made you register entrail...
HOLLY BLACK I once thought that I was the only man that persevered to be the friend of the white man, but since ...
BLACK KETTLE When a country wants television more than they want clean water, they've lost their grip.
LEWIS BLACK I promise I will repay you.”
“Oh yeah?” she asked, looking at him, with his bare feet an...
HOLLY BLACK We sent Lifeline of Ohio a photograph of Bill a few years ago. But we had never been able to see the...
BILL BLACK The final package is not yet decided. Neither of these institutions is out of cash. As we get to the...
BILL BLACK The biggest stumbling block is that the owner's identity is tied to the company. A lot of our work i...
BILL BLACK We're replacing two vans about 10 years old and (with) a ton of mileage, and one or the other has be...
BILL BLACK If you had a one person, one vote situation and if a Metro candidate was to win, there's a real risk...
BILL BLACK From a pure economic standpoint, I understand that this is a worldwide economic matter, but that sho...
BILL BLACK From a pure economic standpoint, I understand that this is a worldwide economic matter, but that sho...
BILL BLACK A special session may be premature, ... Do we have enough votes to do some of this? Is the governor ...
BILL BLACK They need to perform at a higher level than their competitors. They need to solidify and diversify t...
BILL BLACK Five years ago, he would have sold in a minute. Now selling is just one option.
BILL BLACK Back when I was helping put the swing into the swinging '60s, I used to hang out with Cathy McGo...
CILLA BLACK It's likely these new-to-wireless people might be lower income, and pre-paid might actually be perfe...
ANDREW BLACK There's an awful lot of people that still haven't gotten into the category and we ask ourselves the ...
ANDREW BLACK There was a lot of really useful stuff here. I'm planning on coming back next year.
ANDREW BLACK It appears that due to the sound and the noise, (the co-pilot) was unable to understand what the pas...
ANDREW BLACK We've ruled out foul play on behalf of any of the passengers. We're looking at it strictly as a poss...
ANDREW BLACK It's been slightly busier, and it was busy yesterday but nothing exceptional.
ANDREW BLACK I don't know if you've noticed, but our two-party system is a bowl of shit looking at itself in the ...
LEWIS BLACK We got it." Val grinned and lifted her fist. "Wonder twin powers activate!"
Ruth grinned back,...
HOLLY BLACK I would remain nearer you for what time there is."

"Gone in one faerie sigh," she quoted....
HOLLY BLACK All food is comfort food. Maybe I just like to chew.
LEWIS BLACK If you really think there's a Santa, why don't you sit on the front steps all night in the freezing ...
LEWIS BLACK No," said Luis, "You can't date the Lord of the Night Court."
"Well, I'm not, he dumped me." HOLLY BLACK Curiosity could be almost as powerful as desire.
SHAYLA BLACK I want you to give all these chiefs of the soldiers here to understand that we are for peace, and th...
BLACK KETTLE We all wind up drawn to what we're afraid of, drawn to try to find a way to make ourselves safe from...
HOLLY BLACK If you're working out in front of a mirror and watching your muscles grow, your ego has reached ...
LEWIS BLACK They told me I had been sick twelve days, lying like dead all the while, and that Whirlwind Chaser, ...
BLACK ELK You're yourself," Tana said, grinning. "More purely yourself than anyone I know. And if you can't se...
HOLLY BLACK No matter what we're trying to accomplish in life, or what career path we're trying to take,...
LUCAS BLACK Because they could not determine when they were going to be clear to land, it made no sense to conti...
ANTHONY BLACK I would attribute it back to a lack of strong demand.
ANTHONY BLACK From a Salt Lake standpoint right now, you guys have gotten a number of new flights over the past ca...
ANTHONY BLACK Delta has identified Orlando International Airport as an airport where we lease more space than is n...
ANTHONY BLACK Acts of God. That doesn't mean they won't, but they're not required to.
ANTHONY BLACK There will be no non-stop service to Cincinnati from Montgomery.
ANTHONY BLACK We should be back to normal operations from a Katrina standpoint sometime Thursday.
ANTHONY BLACK While Delta remains open to reaching consensual agreements to achieve its necessary pilot cost reduc...
ANTHONY BLACK It's part of our overall efforts to restructure our costs and to get them in line with our operation...
ANTHONY BLACK The worst thing about Halloween is, of course, candy corn. It's unbelievable to me. Candy corn i...
LEWIS BLACK It's still too early to be able to say when he's going to be back playing.
ALEX BLACK We've had quite a few discover the wonderful reality to why shaving helps so much. It not just for t...
ALEX BLACK He is not letting the situation get him down and he is already determined to get back on the pitch a...
ALEX BLACK I think Alan just wants to say that the treatment from Liverpool and all the Manchester United staff...
ALEX BLACK Alan said when you look down and see your foot in that sort of condition your priorities suddenly go...
ALEX BLACK Grandfather, Great Spirit, once more behold me on earth and lean to hear my feeble voice.
BLACK ELK It's a big thing now: A lot of people want to be assistants to celebrities. If you're pursui...
LEWIS BLACK I love books and the latest autobiographies. I'm a Gemini and love being with people, but then a...
CILLA BLACK I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake.
LEWIS BLACK Perhaps the gravest under-publicized atrocity in the world is the persecution of Christians.
CONRAD BLACK I was one of those little girls who practiced signing autographs since I was 5 years old.
REBECCA BLACK Anybody who likes writing a book is an idiot. Because it's impossible; it's like having a ho...
LEWIS BLACK I humbly apologise for reality Television.
CILLA BLACK I'm apolitical. Where all that Conservative business came along from, I don't know.
CILLA BLACK I am falling apart. My hand is falling apart. I can't shake hands. I had arthritis, and I had an...
CILLA BLACK You can never put too much pork in your mouth as far as I'm concerned.
LEWIS BLACK Someday I would like to be the kind of writer who barrels through a draft, but I can't even seem...
HOLLY BLACK The Founding Fathers gave the free press the protection it must have to bare the secrets of governme...
HUGO BLACK I think that many things that go on in an art school have a tendency to undermine confidence, and th...
LEWIS BLACK Republicans have nothing but bad ideas and Democrats have no ideas.
LEWIS BLACK People would be a lot better off if they'd enjoy being single.
LEWIS BLACK One thing I know about the rich, being rich, is that you can take money from me and tomorrow, I'...
LEWIS BLACK If Beethoven and Bach hooked up with Mozart and made a band, they could be a distant runner up to Th...
JACK BLACK Men are dark animals. Women are the same. But if the females wish to survive, they need to mate with...
ROBERT BLACK I'm fairly certain that YOLO is just Carpe Diem for stupid people.
JACK BLACK Big don't mean ugly, and thin sho don't mean pretty. If a person wants to be pretty, they gotta walk...
DANIEL BLACK