Real programmers don't work from 9 to 5. If any real programmers are around at 9am it's because they were up all night.


Tom Van Vleck

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In the beginning, there were Real Programmers.
ERIC S. RAYMOND
Real programmers can write assembly code in any language.
LARRY WALL
Real programmers don't write in PL/I. PL/I is for programmers who can't decide whether to write in C...
TOM VAN VLECK
Real programmers don't comment their code. If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand.
TOM VAN VLECK
Van Vleck is very proud of these young men and looks forward to them moving up to the varsity level ...
BOB LANTELME
All programmers are playwrights and all computers are lousy actors.
ANON.
All programmers are playwrights and all computers are lousy actors.
UNKNOWN
All programmers are playwrights and all computers are lousy actors.
ANONYMOUS
The way I see it, more people are wired with broadband from 9 to 5 during the day than watch TV at n...
MARK BURNETT
If code is law, then programmers rule.
LILY CHATTERJEE
Beyond basic mathematical aptitude, the difference between good programmers and great programmers is...
MARISSA MAYER
The standard library saves programmers from having to reinvent the wheel.
BJARNE STROUSTRUP
When are programmers happy? They're happy when they're not underutilized - when they're ...
ERIC S. RAYMOND
Programmers can be lazy.
LARRY WALL
Old programmers never die. They just can't C as well.
ANON.
Old programmers never die. They just branch out to a new address.
ANON.
Programmers have been wandering out and shooting a shotgun into the night sky and hoping they hit so...
RICK SMOLAN
Beware of programmers who carry screwdrivers.
LEONARD BRANDWEIN
... bright young men of disheveled appearance, often with
sunken glowing eyes, can be seen sitt...
JOSEPH WEIZENBAUM
It was proving difficult to find MONK programmers.
MARY RICH
There are no standards for computer programmers and no group to certify them.
DAVE PARNAS
Most good programmers do programming not because they expect to get paid or get adulation by the pub...
LINUS TORVALDS
Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
SHORT QUOTES
Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
LEONARD BRANDWEIN
Managing senior programmers is like herding cats
DAVE PLATT
It was an amazing experience to premiere in Cleveland. Not only are the festival programmers and sta...
LARRY GRIMALDI
I know blind programmers who work in C and Visual Basic in addition to mainframe languages, because ...
CURTIS CHONG
They all have good legs. Nolan Ryan? Real strong legs. Roger Clemens? Real strong legs. Tom Seaver? ...
JIM LEYLAND
Whether you're looking at manufacturing and the use of robotics or the knowledge industries, the...
ASA HUTCHINSON
If programmers deserve to be rewarded for creating innovative programs, by the same token they deser...
RICHARD STALLMAN
Tests are stories we tell the next generation of programmers on a project.
ROY OSHEROVE
We would work out requirements, and Brenda would communicate them with the offshore programmers. The...
NANCY SUDDUTH
It's a lot of single people who are new to town. People who work as programmers during the day and a...
AMY HUGHES
Any fool can write code that a computer can understand. Good programmers write code that humans can ...
MARTIN FOWLER
We have seven new programmers joining us this month.
DON SWARTHOUT
That's the thing about people who think they hate computers. What they really hate is lousy programm...
LARRY NIVEN
Digitisation will rather consolidate the broadcasting industry in India because once the cable is di...
SUBHASH CHANDRA
If builders built buildings the way programmers write programs, the first woodpecker to come along w...
UNKNOWN
It is a shame that homebrew development can't be officially sanctioned and supported, because it...
JOHN CARMACK
We laugh if its real. Its a joke if isn't real. I don't laugh much in jokes, because I know they are...
EPHDAN
Computers: he always fixed on computers when his mind wandered into the future--instruments he rever...
HOWARD FAST
America pays defense contractors to build aircraft carriers. Google pays brilliant programmers to do...
ROBIN SLOAN
Some teams assemble machines built by corporations but our kids do their own. That means we go up ag...
CHUCK GOSDZINSKI
Programmers have more than one channel and there are ties between them. In order to get decent price...
MARK REINHARDT
I'm not going to sacrifice love, real love, for any fuckin' whore or any friend, or any business, be...
JOHN LENNON
Programmers are in the enviable position of not only getting to do what they want to, but because th...
LINUS TORVALDS
LISP programmers know the value of everything and the cost of nothing.
ALAN PERLIS
If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came ...
HARRY WEINBERGER
XM is unique because we have hundreds of programmers delivering millions of songs plus live news, li...
CHANCE PATTERSON
Programmers work in bursts of productivity. Then, they let the brain rest and get back into it. A lo...
MARCO ARMENT
Finding a technical cofounder would have been difficult for me. I was an English major and didn'...
JESSICA LIVINGSTON
They were real nice people. They hooked me up with FEMA. From the time that I got here it was beauti...
ROBERT BROWN
In our daily lives as programmers, we process text strings a lot. So I tried to work hard on text pr...
YUKIHIRO MATSUMOTO
The Horizon project remains on track. To date we have achieved our critical milestones and advanced ...
REAL DOUCET
i believe in love. lust. sex. romance. i don't want everything to add up to the perfect equation...i...
NOT REAL
Boys do not long for fathers who will usher them through the gauntlet of psychological disconnect. T...
T. REAL
The rule that surpasses all rules is that you must be connected, willing to see what's in front of y...
TERRENCE REAL
I won't forget when I couldn't go to bed with the lights off
When I heard that voice call me in...
REAL FRIENDS
You'll spend every Saturday night on the bathroom floor with no recollection of the night before REAL FRIENDS Let's face it — programmers want to program, they don't want to do their laundry. We make it easy ...
ERIC SCHMIDT
Let's face it — programmers want to program, they don't want to do their laundry. We make it easy f...
ERIC SCHMIDT
It is practically impossible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to...
EDSGER DIJKSTRA
It is practically impossible to teach good programming style to students that have had prior exposur...
E. W. DIJKSTRA
Magicians are typically introverted; they don't tend to work with others, but I work with softwa...
MARCO TEMPEST
In real life, there are names that surprise us because they don't seem to suit the person at all.
KRZYSZTOF KIESLOWSKI
Do whatever you like because life is short
SUJANā
They were real solid up front.
MARSHAWN LYNCH
Programmers are isolated. They sit in their cubicle; they don't think about the larger picture. To m...
PHILIP GREENSPUN
All programmers are optimists. Perhaps this modern sorcery especially attracts those who believe in ...
FREDERICK BROOKS
I'll be real surprised if we have any Notre Dame tickets left Tuesday night.
JAY COOPERIDER
The tastes of country music fans are not limited to the narrow range defined by consultants and prog...
CHARLEY PRIDE
'Forensic Files' is amazing! I love it! There were marathons happening all the time in colle...
CORY MICHAEL SMITH
hate perfect people because they are not real. I love real people because they TRY to be perfect.
MITTA XININDLU
You might not think that programmers are artists, but programming is an extremely creative professio...
JOHN ROMERO
How can you tell which is a real fishing boat and which is not from up in the sky at night?
ALAN CHAN
Amazon is holding its own because the service it provides - offering millions of books and other ite...
ADAM COHEN
Creativity and innovation will end up moving offshore where programmers outside the U.S. can develop...
KURT OPSAHL
Brandywine's a good team. They have a real good player in [5-foot-9 sophomore] Michelle Baker and it...
JOHN ARMSTRONG
The Internet's a driving force in the change from mass media to 'my media,' in which con...
JERRY YANG
In real life, there are names that surprise us because they don't seem to suit the person at all...
KRZYSZTOF KIESLOWSKI
People think that they are untouchable, but you will probably find that there lives are built around...
GARY F EVANS...
Liz is a great all-around player. She's only 5-9 but she plays like she's 6-5 with a lot of heart.
ALEXIS RANSTROM
This is how many people become artists, musicians, writers, computer programmers, record-holding ath...
MEG CABOT
It's hard for a filter to block out every single site, because your programmers out there always hav...
ANDY MELIN
Take it from me, whenever you see a bunch of buggers puttering around talking about truth and beauty...
TERRY PRATCHETT
As financial services companies step up spending on security to meet rising threat levels, IT securi...
ANN SWAIN
They were a team. And it wasn't eight hours a day, either, from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. It was more like 12...
GERRY GERLACH
Actors speak of things imaginary as if they were real, while your preachers too often speak of thing...
THOMAS BETTERTON
Any gifted child can potentially get in real trouble because of the way they are handled.
ITZHAK PERLMAN
I found out that most programmers don't like to test their software as intensely as I do.
KENT BECK
There is no real direction here, neither lines of power nor cooperation. Decisions are never really ...
THOMAS PYNCHON
Tom Snyder was big enough to fill the night with talk and his own persona. The Snyder we saw on TV w...
TOM SHALES
If you're trying to get your customers to move to a new wave of development, you don't want them to ...
KATHY QUIRK
The characters that I play are real. They are real so they have as much right to be portrayed as any...
ROBERT DE NIRO
We haven't made any cuts. We never intended to make any cuts until the final minutes. We were going ...
BRUCE ALLEN
There's a popular saying that the Internet interprets censorship as damage and routes around it....
VIRGINIA POSTREL
[The Supreme Court's 5-4 decision rejected Congress' findings and its] method of reasoning, ... Is t...
ARLEN SPECTER
They were right up there at the top. Their tumbling was phenomenal. They hit every stunt. There's al...
BRANDY WESTOM
We had very few programmers and limited funding, yet we had to do a lot before our competitors did. ...
MITCH PIRTLE
One of her secret fantasies had been that, as a girl who could code, she would work in the one place...
MAUREEN F. MCHUGH

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has truly recognized and received my deep love and lifetime devotion.
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What the United States needs to do at this point is reaffirm our commitment that Assad must go and t...
TOM COTTON
So rather than face the bitter truth, China has placed severe restrictions on the Internet and enlis...
TOM LANTOS
I think these movies are definitely comedies. It's quite difficult to take a superhero movie ser...
TOM HOLLAND
Every chef has his treats. By that, I mean bits and pieces from things you're working on - crust...
TOM DOUGLAS
I've gotten very good at scheduling my life, scheduling the scene and preparing myself for knowi...
TOM CRUISE
I grew up watching 'Superman.' As a child, when I first learned to dive into a swimming pool...
TOM HIDDLESTON
Songs really are like a form of time travel because they really have moved forward in a bubble. Ever...
TOM WAITS
Catfish has a nice firm texture and mild flavor.
TOM DOUGLAS
You have to enable and empower people to make decisions independent of you. As I've learned, eac...
TOM RIDGE
America's health care system is in crisis precisely because we systematically neglect wellness a...
TOM HARKIN
My wife and I decided to try and kick start our kitchens to a $15 minimum wage for cooks. I've p...
TOM DOUGLAS
I think we're very uptight in America. You have to remember that we're descended from Purita...
TOM FORD
Everybody has something that chews them up and, for me, that thing was always loneliness. The cinema...
TOM HANKS
I have a weakness for watches. I have to stop myself buying more.
TOM JONES
We are set to make very bad history.
TOM WILSON
These days an income is something you can't live without - or within.
TOM WILSON
If I had a nickel for every time I said 'Why me?' I'd have probably said 'Why me?...
TOM WILSON
What this country needs is a credit card for charging things to experience.
TOM WILSON
The waist is a terrible thing to mind.
TOM WILSON
Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself.
TOM WILSON
If you spend all of your time racing ahead to the future, you're liable to discover you've l...
TOM WILSON
Many of us are more capable than some of us... but none of us is as capable as all of us!
TOM WILSON