Related
My favorite comedians were Jimmy Durante, George Burns, senior citizens.
JOSEPH BOLOGNA Nothing is a joke with me. It just all comes out like one.
LORRIE MOORE![]()
Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and their politicians as jokes.
WILL ROGERS Everybody tells us North Carolina is where you need to be.
GREG VAUGHT![]()
I still feel threatened by academics, but my books have a lot of academic in-jokes and everybody ass...
JASPER FFORDE I believe we are getting closer to Scotland, Wales and Ireland. But England and France are still som...
MARCO BORTOLAMI Times change. The farmer's daughter now tells jokes about the traveling salesman.
CAREY WILLIAMS Times change. The farmer's daughter now tells jokes about the traveling salesman.
CAREY WILLIAMS![]()
Always laugh heartily at the jokes your boss tells, it maybe a loyalty test.
SOURCE UNKNOWN I worked with Eddie Cantor, Ed Wynn - one of the greatest comedians and actors that ever lived - and...
DONALD O'CONNOR![]()
Comedians get jokes offered to them, rock stars get women and underwear thrown onstage, and I get gu...
LES CLAYPOOL Comedians are always hitting the topical notes that are on everybody's minds.
YAKOV SMIRNOFF Everybody tells me that I am being lied to. But I don't care.
BROOKE BALDWIN If you see a blatant error or misconception about yourself, you really want to set it straight.
JIMMY WALES Most people assume the fights are going to be the left versus the right, but it always is the reason...
JIMMY WALES We've seen how grassroots journalism by blogs has had an impact at various points politically, a...
JIMMY WALES I have always liked the idea of going to print because a big part of what we are about is to dissemi...
JIMMY WALES To create and distribute a free encyclopedia of the highest possible quality to every single person ...
JIMMY WALES Wikipedia is a non-profit. It was either the dumbest thing I ever did or the smartest thing I ever d...
JIMMY WALES Most people are good. They may not be saints, but they are good.
JIMMY WALES We delete things that are not good. They're taken down for good reasons.
JIMMY WALES Imagine a world in which every single person on the planet is given free access to the sum of all hu...
JIMMY WALES Free speech includes the right to not speak.
JIMMY WALES One of the ways that Microsoft beat Apple way back in the day was that they were a lot more open; to...
JIMMY WALES I'm a big advocate of freedom: freedom of speech, freedom of expression, freedom of thought.
JIMMY WALES People take issue with individual aspects of Wikipedia all the time. But it's kind of hard to ha...
JIMMY WALES My original concept was to provide a free encyclopedia for every single person in the world.
JIMMY WALES The goal is to give people a free encyclopedia to every person in the world, in their own language. ...
JIMMY WALES Things work well when a group of people know each other, and things break down when it's a bunch...
JIMMY WALES We are growing from a cheerful small town where everyone waves off their front porch to the subway o...
JIMMY WALES Love. It isn't very popular in technical circles to say a lot of mushy stuff about love, but frankly...
JIMMY WALES The bigger it gets and the more people stumble across it, the more people are interested in voluntee...
JIMMY WALES I'm learning German, ... You couldn't learn German just from a textbook...So I'm learning from audio...
JIMMY WALES I joke a lot that (choosing to be a nonprofit) was either the best thing or the worst thing I've eve...
JIMMY WALES Our growth rate continues to be staggering.
JIMMY WALES My view is that good community management is like having good municipal government: You should be ab...
JIMMY WALES There's a big tendency to gravitate toward a closed and proprietary approach too easily.
JIMMY WALES Almost anything is better than three network TV outlets completely controlling the national discours...
JIMMY WALES I have always viewed the mission of Wikipedia to be much bigger than just creating a killer website....
JIMMY WALES The core of Wikipedia is something people really believe in. That is too valuable for the world to s...
JIMMY WALES If I had some information, the last thing I would ever do with it is send it to Wikileaks.
JIMMY WALES While I'm optimistic about the direction the world is headed, generally, I think there is a need...
JIMMY WALES The mainland Chinese tend to take a Chinese mainland point of view on controversial issues, and the ...
JIMMY WALES Everybody in Wales knows the final is here, we know they appreciate the game and I'm very confident ...
DEREK MCGRATH![]()
Fart jokes still work for me.
NIKOLAJ COSTER-WALDAU I loved Omar Vizquel. He tells some really long jokes, and he has his own way of telling them, but h...
STEVE FINLEY Fortunately, as we all know, it's impossible for anybody but Jimmy Smith to really sound like Jimmy ...
BENMONT TENCH Everybody jokes about that old story about the world only needing five computers, but when you think...
MATT MULLENWEG![]()
Comedians are the monkeys of acting. When you go to the zoo, everybody loves the monkey exhibit.
TRACY MORGAN Fortunately, as we all know, it's impossible for anybody but Jimmy Smith to really sound like Ji...
BENMONT TENCH Everyone I know is fervently proud to be Welsh but you try not to be preachy about it. It's diff...
GARY SPEED That tells me we need enforceable rules to protect consumers.
DIAN GRUENEICH Coach always tells us everybody wants to take the top dog down. I'm kind of surprised we're undefeat...
ADAM MORRIS When a guy that hot is still hitting sixth, it tells you all you need to know about their lineup.
JAKE WESTBROOK For comedians, we're all kind of tweeting our thoughts instead of spending time developing them....
NATASHA LEGGERO People said, 'You're going to do what? We got a lot of jokes about raising jackasses. We still do.
CINDY JOHNSON![]()
For some reason, comedians are still children. The social skills somehow never reach us, so we say e...
BOB NEWHART There are still parts of Wales where the only concession to gaiety is a striped shroud.
GWYN THOMAS We did the same thing to them. We went to (John Paxson) and 'Pax' was covered and Jimmy Dolan made t...
DIGGER PHELPS We're still okay, ... We never ran out before, but if everybody starts running on us, we could run o...
GARY KING Everybody tells me I need to be effective for this team to succeed. I've been working on my shot, an...
AYMAN ATIEH![]()
Without Jimmy Carter we might not have gotten Ronald Reagan, without Ronald Reagan there would proba...
NEWT GINGRICH Every serious incident obviously tells us that we need to be doing better,
GERARD KENNEDY I need wrong to get laughs. I need a normal world so that I can be abnormal, and that's my probl...
GALLAGHER![]()
Comedians haven't improved. Nothing has improved but taxes.
WILL ROGERS That's what comedians do. Comedians talk a lot.
ERICK DAMPIER Comedians still make fun of Bill's out-of-control appetites, but with Hillary, the mockery is ab...
RICH LOWRY For those who don't like Dave Letterman, there's Jay Leno; and for those who like neither, t...
TOM SHALES We need to involve everybody. We will need to use all of our resources.
MERLE WILLIAMS![]()
Comedians are not usually actors, but imitations of actors.
JOHANN GEORG ZIMMERMANN![]()
When I hit the scene, there was Billy Connolly and Max Boyce. It was all mother-in-law and Irish jok...
JASPER CARROTT Jimmy Garner is a very gracious guy, as he was then and he is still today.
TOM ATKINS Comedians are sometimes resentful of their writers. Probably because it's hard for giant egos to...
DICK CAVETT![]()
I am sick and tired of the process where everybody tells you that Indian companies don't have th...
BABA KALYANI People are attracted to entertainment, for sure, or jokes, excitement and romantically heightened st...
BENNETT MILLER I prefer league to union but have no regrets about my time in Wales. Unfortunately Cardiff were rebu...
IESTYN HARRIS![]()
It is not what they say, but the reaction that tells you everything you need to know.
SHANNON L. ALDER![]()
We still have a chance, and we'll keep battling until someone tells us, 'You're out of it,'
FRANK ROBINSON Everybody looks for John. Everybody respects John. I still depend on him today. When I need some inf...
LOUIE GOLDEN![]()
A humorist tells himself every morning, "I hope it's going to be a rough day." When things are goin...
ALAN COREN We just need everybody healthy, get everybody on the same page and in a rhythm and finish the season...
JAMES POSEY![]()
That's when everybody decided, 'We need to drain Florida,'
PAUL GRAY We are equally pleased because of his strong South Wales roots.
TOM WILLIAMS The title has still got to be our aim but we need consistency.
PADDY O'CONNOR Many people are surprised to hear that we have comedians in Russia, but they are there. They are dea...
YAKOV SMIRNOFF![]()
For Wales and Northern Ireland, it's a dream to beat England and we have to deal with that. It's lik...
SVEN GORAN ERIKSSON Comedians talk to other comedians the way jazz musicians can talk to each other.
DAVID STEINBERG The idea of taking this very modern 21st century story of tender love between two cowboys and puttin...
ROBERT THOMPSON While in prison, we had an excellent pianist named Jimmy Bunn, who also recorded with Bird. Jimmy wo...
FRANK MORGAN![]()
We need to lower tax rates for everybody, starting with the top corporate tax rate. We need to simpl...
HERMAN CAIN![]()
Everybody has a bad hair day, but us girls still like to be told we look nice even if we don't feel ...
CAT DEELEY All great comedians make me laugh, but people make me laugh more.
LOUIE ANDERSON I know there's a commitment there, and everybody says it's a good idea, but we really need to go fur...
DON DOBESH Jimmy is in the process of putting together a production deal in Hollywood. There's still a lot of u...
CAROLINE LELAND We are close, ... but I think everybody around here is tired of hearing the word 'close.' We just ne...
JAKE GROVE We're still looking at everybody. We haven't made any decisions yet.
DARRELL BEVELL This tells us we cannot rest on our laurels and we need to do all we can to ensure that all students...
JANE BURKE We don't need a superstar. We've got all the pieces we need. Everybody works together to find a win.
CESAR CUEVAS We need more from everybody, myself included. We need to make sure we're bringing it here down the s...
ALEX AULD Having Kelly back is huge. We have everybody we need to be successful.
JESSE CARMACK
JOSEPH BOLOGNA Nothing is a joke with me. It just all comes out like one.
LORRIE MOORE
Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and their politicians as jokes. WILL ROGERS Everybody tells us North Carolina is where you need to be.
GREG VAUGHT
I still feel threatened by academics, but my books have a lot of academic in-jokes and everybody ass... JASPER FFORDE I believe we are getting closer to Scotland, Wales and Ireland. But England and France are still som...
MARCO BORTOLAMI Times change. The farmer's daughter now tells jokes about the traveling salesman.
CAREY WILLIAMS Times change. The farmer's daughter now tells jokes about the traveling salesman.
CAREY WILLIAMS
Always laugh heartily at the jokes your boss tells, it maybe a loyalty test. SOURCE UNKNOWN I worked with Eddie Cantor, Ed Wynn - one of the greatest comedians and actors that ever lived - and...
DONALD O'CONNOR
Comedians get jokes offered to them, rock stars get women and underwear thrown onstage, and I get gu... LES CLAYPOOL Comedians are always hitting the topical notes that are on everybody's minds.
YAKOV SMIRNOFF Everybody tells me that I am being lied to. But I don't care.
BROOKE BALDWIN If you see a blatant error or misconception about yourself, you really want to set it straight.
JIMMY WALES Most people assume the fights are going to be the left versus the right, but it always is the reason...
JIMMY WALES We've seen how grassroots journalism by blogs has had an impact at various points politically, a...
JIMMY WALES I have always liked the idea of going to print because a big part of what we are about is to dissemi...
JIMMY WALES To create and distribute a free encyclopedia of the highest possible quality to every single person ...
JIMMY WALES Wikipedia is a non-profit. It was either the dumbest thing I ever did or the smartest thing I ever d...
JIMMY WALES Most people are good. They may not be saints, but they are good.
JIMMY WALES We delete things that are not good. They're taken down for good reasons.
JIMMY WALES Imagine a world in which every single person on the planet is given free access to the sum of all hu...
JIMMY WALES Free speech includes the right to not speak.
JIMMY WALES One of the ways that Microsoft beat Apple way back in the day was that they were a lot more open; to...
JIMMY WALES I'm a big advocate of freedom: freedom of speech, freedom of expression, freedom of thought.
JIMMY WALES People take issue with individual aspects of Wikipedia all the time. But it's kind of hard to ha...
JIMMY WALES My original concept was to provide a free encyclopedia for every single person in the world.
JIMMY WALES The goal is to give people a free encyclopedia to every person in the world, in their own language. ...
JIMMY WALES Things work well when a group of people know each other, and things break down when it's a bunch...
JIMMY WALES We are growing from a cheerful small town where everyone waves off their front porch to the subway o...
JIMMY WALES Love. It isn't very popular in technical circles to say a lot of mushy stuff about love, but frankly...
JIMMY WALES The bigger it gets and the more people stumble across it, the more people are interested in voluntee...
JIMMY WALES I'm learning German, ... You couldn't learn German just from a textbook...So I'm learning from audio...
JIMMY WALES I joke a lot that (choosing to be a nonprofit) was either the best thing or the worst thing I've eve...
JIMMY WALES Our growth rate continues to be staggering.
JIMMY WALES My view is that good community management is like having good municipal government: You should be ab...
JIMMY WALES There's a big tendency to gravitate toward a closed and proprietary approach too easily.
JIMMY WALES Almost anything is better than three network TV outlets completely controlling the national discours...
JIMMY WALES I have always viewed the mission of Wikipedia to be much bigger than just creating a killer website....
JIMMY WALES The core of Wikipedia is something people really believe in. That is too valuable for the world to s...
JIMMY WALES If I had some information, the last thing I would ever do with it is send it to Wikileaks.
JIMMY WALES While I'm optimistic about the direction the world is headed, generally, I think there is a need...
JIMMY WALES The mainland Chinese tend to take a Chinese mainland point of view on controversial issues, and the ...
JIMMY WALES Everybody in Wales knows the final is here, we know they appreciate the game and I'm very confident ...
DEREK MCGRATH
Fart jokes still work for me. NIKOLAJ COSTER-WALDAU I loved Omar Vizquel. He tells some really long jokes, and he has his own way of telling them, but h...
STEVE FINLEY Fortunately, as we all know, it's impossible for anybody but Jimmy Smith to really sound like Jimmy ...
BENMONT TENCH Everybody jokes about that old story about the world only needing five computers, but when you think...
MATT MULLENWEG
Comedians are the monkeys of acting. When you go to the zoo, everybody loves the monkey exhibit. TRACY MORGAN Fortunately, as we all know, it's impossible for anybody but Jimmy Smith to really sound like Ji...
BENMONT TENCH Everyone I know is fervently proud to be Welsh but you try not to be preachy about it. It's diff...
GARY SPEED That tells me we need enforceable rules to protect consumers.
DIAN GRUENEICH Coach always tells us everybody wants to take the top dog down. I'm kind of surprised we're undefeat...
ADAM MORRIS When a guy that hot is still hitting sixth, it tells you all you need to know about their lineup.
JAKE WESTBROOK For comedians, we're all kind of tweeting our thoughts instead of spending time developing them....
NATASHA LEGGERO People said, 'You're going to do what? We got a lot of jokes about raising jackasses. We still do.
CINDY JOHNSON
For some reason, comedians are still children. The social skills somehow never reach us, so we say e... BOB NEWHART There are still parts of Wales where the only concession to gaiety is a striped shroud.
GWYN THOMAS We did the same thing to them. We went to (John Paxson) and 'Pax' was covered and Jimmy Dolan made t...
DIGGER PHELPS We're still okay, ... We never ran out before, but if everybody starts running on us, we could run o...
GARY KING Everybody tells me I need to be effective for this team to succeed. I've been working on my shot, an...
AYMAN ATIEH
Without Jimmy Carter we might not have gotten Ronald Reagan, without Ronald Reagan there would proba... NEWT GINGRICH Every serious incident obviously tells us that we need to be doing better,
GERARD KENNEDY I need wrong to get laughs. I need a normal world so that I can be abnormal, and that's my probl...
GALLAGHER
Comedians haven't improved. Nothing has improved but taxes. WILL ROGERS That's what comedians do. Comedians talk a lot.
ERICK DAMPIER Comedians still make fun of Bill's out-of-control appetites, but with Hillary, the mockery is ab...
RICH LOWRY For those who don't like Dave Letterman, there's Jay Leno; and for those who like neither, t...
TOM SHALES We need to involve everybody. We will need to use all of our resources.
MERLE WILLIAMS
Comedians are not usually actors, but imitations of actors. JOHANN GEORG ZIMMERMANN
When I hit the scene, there was Billy Connolly and Max Boyce. It was all mother-in-law and Irish jok... JASPER CARROTT Jimmy Garner is a very gracious guy, as he was then and he is still today.
TOM ATKINS Comedians are sometimes resentful of their writers. Probably because it's hard for giant egos to...
DICK CAVETT
I am sick and tired of the process where everybody tells you that Indian companies don't have th... BABA KALYANI People are attracted to entertainment, for sure, or jokes, excitement and romantically heightened st...
BENNETT MILLER I prefer league to union but have no regrets about my time in Wales. Unfortunately Cardiff were rebu...
IESTYN HARRIS
It is not what they say, but the reaction that tells you everything you need to know. SHANNON L. ALDER
We still have a chance, and we'll keep battling until someone tells us, 'You're out of it,' FRANK ROBINSON Everybody looks for John. Everybody respects John. I still depend on him today. When I need some inf...
LOUIE GOLDEN
A humorist tells himself every morning, "I hope it's going to be a rough day." When things are goin... ALAN COREN We just need everybody healthy, get everybody on the same page and in a rhythm and finish the season...
JAMES POSEY
That's when everybody decided, 'We need to drain Florida,' PAUL GRAY We are equally pleased because of his strong South Wales roots.
TOM WILLIAMS The title has still got to be our aim but we need consistency.
PADDY O'CONNOR Many people are surprised to hear that we have comedians in Russia, but they are there. They are dea...
YAKOV SMIRNOFF
For Wales and Northern Ireland, it's a dream to beat England and we have to deal with that. It's lik... SVEN GORAN ERIKSSON Comedians talk to other comedians the way jazz musicians can talk to each other.
DAVID STEINBERG The idea of taking this very modern 21st century story of tender love between two cowboys and puttin...
ROBERT THOMPSON While in prison, we had an excellent pianist named Jimmy Bunn, who also recorded with Bird. Jimmy wo...
FRANK MORGAN
We need to lower tax rates for everybody, starting with the top corporate tax rate. We need to simpl... HERMAN CAIN
Everybody has a bad hair day, but us girls still like to be told we look nice even if we don't feel ... CAT DEELEY All great comedians make me laugh, but people make me laugh more.
LOUIE ANDERSON I know there's a commitment there, and everybody says it's a good idea, but we really need to go fur...
DON DOBESH Jimmy is in the process of putting together a production deal in Hollywood. There's still a lot of u...
CAROLINE LELAND We are close, ... but I think everybody around here is tired of hearing the word 'close.' We just ne...
JAKE GROVE We're still looking at everybody. We haven't made any decisions yet.
DARRELL BEVELL This tells us we cannot rest on our laurels and we need to do all we can to ensure that all students...
JANE BURKE We don't need a superstar. We've got all the pieces we need. Everybody works together to find a win.
CESAR CUEVAS We need more from everybody, myself included. We need to make sure we're bringing it here down the s...
ALEX AULD Having Kelly back is huge. We have everybody we need to be successful.
JESSE CARMACK
Love is an ice cream sundae, with all the marvelous coverings. Sex is the cherry on top. 
We must adjust to changing times and still hold to unchanging principles. 
No matter what Sarah Palin and these geniuses she surrounds herself with try to tell you, climate ch... 
I believe every guitar player inherently has something unique about their playing. They just have to... 
Poverty was the greatest motivating factor in my life. 
Be kind to people on the way up - you'll meet them again on your way down. 
A fundamentalist can't bring himself or herself to negotiate with people who disagree with them ... 
I have a lot of stories to tell because I've been down a lot of roads people haven't been. 
Those of Manhattan are the brokers on Wall Street and they talk of people who went to the same colle... 
Over four or five years, I did six albums with three people: John Lennon, Bruce Springsteen, and Pat... 
My life changed because Bruce Springsteen got on a mic in front of me. 
Donald Trump handles these nitwit reporters with a new and most disgraceful form of bribery. 
I was a hard-workin' little boy. Oh, I worked. Pullin' cotton, shockin' grain, cuttin... 
Becoming a parent has changed the risk calculus for me. But it might be age, too, and seeing a lot o... 
People say, 'Are you insane?' But the most successful climbers are the most calculating, wit... 
I grew up in an Irish Catholic family, and I think they force you to watch every James Cagney movie. 
I'm gonna be blunt and plain, if one ever looks at me like that I'm gonna kill him and tell ... 
A rat race is for rats. We're not rats. We're human beings. Reject the insidious pressures i... 
'Boogie Chillen',' by John Lee Hooker - that is a riff. 
The difference between ordinary and extraordinary is that little extra. 
Never treat your audience as customers, always as partners. 
We should live our lives as though Christ was coming this afternoon. 
I may have faults, but being wrong ain't one of them. 
The office of president is a bastardized thing, half royalty and half democracy that nobody knows wh... 
Older and wiser voices can always help you find the right path, if you are only willing to listen. 
New Yorkers love it when you spill your guts out there. Spill your guts at Wimbledon and they make y... 
I hate to lose more than I love to win. 
Be awfully nice to them going up, because you're gonna meet them all coming down. 
I'd rather die while I'm living then live while I'm dead. 
Use it or lose it. 
If I had my career over again? Maybe I'd say to myself, speed it up a little. 
Surviving and thriving as a professional today demands two new approaches to the written word. First... 
I don't appreciate a preacher who commits adultery and then goes out and blames me. 
Politics is pop. Our job as comedians - especially me, as a late-night talk show, which is a broader... 
'Have fun' is my message. Be silly. You're allowed to be silly. There's nothing wron... 
I didn't have any sophistication. I didn't really have any great taste or anything like that... 
I truly believe the intention of creating positive change is so important to the collective consciou... 
The par putts sometimes are bigger than the birdie putts. 