Am I the Irish comedian with half a finger? No, I'm the Irish comedian with nine and a half fingers.
Dave Allen
Related
Woody Allen is a great dramatist and a great comedian.
CATE BLANCHETT My dad lives in Sicily, so I'm half Italian and half Irish - it's a fiery combination.
NICO MIRALLEGRO I'm half-Irish, half-Dutch, and I was born in Belgium. If I was a dog, I'd be in a hell of a...
AUDREY HEPBURN The trouble with me is that I am a vindictive old shanty-Irish bitch.
ELEANOR MEDILL PATTERSON By the side of the everlasting Why there is a Yes--a transitory Yes if you like, but a Yes.
E.M. FORSTER I am half Scottish. My father is an expat from Glasgow, and on my mother's side there's a bi...
ADELAIDE KANE Being Irish is very much a part of who I am. I take it everywhere with me.
COLIN FARRELL When you ask people who their favorite comedian is or favorite African-American comedian, people gen...
ERIC ANDRE The fact is that most 'Irish-Americans', in spite of dropping the word 'Irish' into ...
IAN WATSON a real professional - a natural comedian and a pleasure to work with.
DWAYNE HICKMAN I was with a famous comedian when a young fan walked up and asked for an autograph. The comedian ble...
LOUIE ANDERSON I'm actually more German than Scottish. I'm half-Japanese, 25 percent German, 12 percent Sco...
KIMIKO GLENN A sorta fairytale with you... with an Irish ending...
C LIONG Even when I lecture per se, I am a joke comedian, I can do the voices.
DAVE PELZER I love a lot of Irish folk music and Irish folk songs.
HOZIER The English and Americans dislike only some" Irish - the same Irish that the Irish themselves detest...
BRENDAN BEHAN Harold Lloyd was not a comedian. But he was the finest actor to play a comedian that I ever saw.
HAL ROACH The Irish say your trouble is their trouble and your joy their joy? I wish I could believe it; I a...
MARIANNE MOORE The Irish say your trouble is their trouble and your joy their joy? I wish I could believe it; I am ...
MARIANNE MOORE With a gentleman I am always a gentleman and a half, and with a fraud I try to be a fraud and a half...
OTTO VON BISMARCK With a gentleman I am always a gentleman and a half, and with a fraud I try to be a fraud and a hal...
OTTO VON BISMARCK The worst tragedy for a comedian of life is to live with morons!
DR. VINOD B. NAIR Yes, I am an Irish lass through and through.
ERIN ANDREWS I'm a thinker. That is what I do, in great depth and detail, every waking moment of the day. I like ...
BRIAN HERBERT Unification of differences is power.
SHESH NATH VERNWAL Irish Americans are no more Irish than Black Americans are Africans.
BOB GELDOF There's a lot of pride. We've got support from far and wide from people who helped us clean out the ...
BARBARA KENNY I was inspired by Colin Farrell in the fact that he's Irish and has freckles but with black hair...
JOJO As an Irish person, there's a historical fascination with America: America is the default green ...
DYLAN MORAN In 1889, I predict, the legislative stage of the Irish question will have arrived; and the union wit...
JOHN BOYLE O'REILLY I am a proud product of Irish golf and the Golfing Union of Ireland and am hugely honoured to have c...
RORY MCILROY I like to open for a band as it brings on sort of a challenge and it makes things more interesting. ...
KELLY JONES Daring to dream is not difficult, it's making them come true that is hard...
NANETTE L. AVERY I am happy with the three points but I was disappointed with our second-half performance. It was a b...
DES MCKEOWN Without the laughs, the audience wouldn't be there at all, so in that sense, yes, I am a comedian.
GEORGE CARLIN Without the laughs, the audience wouldn’t be there at all, so in that sense, yes, I am a comedian,
GEORGE CARLIN Don't be more serious than God. God invented dog farts. God designed your body's plumbing system. Go...
PETER KREEFT Irish music has been great to me. It's really exciting to be accepted as an Irish musician in this c...
EILEEN MCLANE I am delighted with the strong vote I have received. My message of positive leadership, patriotism a...
MICHAEL D. HIGGINS We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to s...
FRED A. ALLEN We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to s...
FRED ALLEN I am really looking forward to working with the new manager and his team. I am delighted to help and...
SIR BOBBY ROBSON He's so slow that he takes an hour and a half to watch 60 Minutes.
EDWIN EDWARDS I'm a comedian, not a politician.
ADAM CAROLLA She tipped back her glass and finished it.
"Ah, lass. You drink like you're Irish already." ASHLYN CHASE An Irish wedding is a tame thing to an Irish funeral.
MARY DEASY Great balls of fire. Don't bother me anymore, and don't call me sugar.
MARGARET MITCHELL Obedience is bondage, if God wants to be adored he should make himself more loving.
LAURA WHITCOMB If thinking is your fate, revere this fate with divine honour and sacrifice to it the best, the most...
FRIEDRICH NIETZSCHE Life is a divine blessing for those who live life to add values in the lives of others.
SEEMA BRAIN OPENERS I always gravitate towards anything from Ireland. With Irish lit, I love the use of language, but al...
DANIEL WOODRELL When I get a very generous introduction like that I explain that I'm emotionally moved, but on the o...
BARRY MCCAFFREY I didn't really want to be a comedian.
ALLAN CARR We're honored that the Irish government recognizes our efforts to celebrate the Irish culture and in...
JANE ANDERSON When I think of Irish, I think of hardworking people. Irish make the American dream come true.
DANNY MURPHY I'm most comfortable with the Southern dialects, really. It's easy, for example, for me to d...
BRAD PITT I want to have fun. Life ain't no dress rehearsal. I want to have fun. I'm a comedian; I ain...
BERNIE MAC Bless your little Irish heart and every other Irish part.
IRISH BLESSINGS As a teacher, your job is to motivate your unmotivated student. This is how you shape the future
SOTONYE ANGA A lot of comedians out there are aspiring actors, but Dave Attell is a comedian who loves doing come...
LAURA GARRISON I am who I am: an Irish Catholic kid, working class from Long Island. And I made it big.
BILL O'REILLY A lot of people think I'm a comedian.
DOLLY PARTON I'm proud of my Irish heritage and culture and this show will feature a lot of Irish dancing.
MICHAEL FLATLEY There is no language like the Irish for soothing and quieting.
JOHN MILLINGTON SYNGE My kids are Irish; I want them to grow up playing Gaelic football and learning Irish.
SHANE FILAN COMEDIAN: [...] What is it you do for a living?
HECKLER: I mind my own business.
J. ROSS CLARA If it was raining soup, the Irish would go out with forks.
BRENDAN BEHAN There really is no Johnny Carson anymore. There is no one place a comedian can appear and explode.
TOM LEYKIS Lord, you're Irish," said Will. "Can you make things that don't have potatoes in them? We had an Iri...
CASSANDRA CLARE We don't celebrate it over there, really. It's a holiday that normally is recognized when the Irish ...
MAGGIE PARKER A comedian sees the world bent. I'm tangent to the circle.
BUDDY HACKETT I am at this moment thirty-seven years old. Since aged twelve I have been free the sum total of nine...
JACK ABBOTT I am at this moment thirty-seven years old. Since aged twelve I have been free the sum total of nine...
JACK HENRY ABBOTT I've got the humor of a comedian and the playfulness of a child.
TOMMY POLO I wish the Irish had never invented whiskey," Pat said. Mr. O'Malley smirked, "The Irish didn't inve...
ASHLYN CHASE That is the job of a comedian: To take unpleasant subject matter and forcibly, with his hands, wring...
KATT WILLIAMS I think women are in much the same place in the Irish theater as they are everywhere else. Certainly...
GARRY HYNES No, men and women of the Irish race, we shall not fight for England. We shall fight for the destruct...
JAMES LARKIN I'm Irish as hell: Kelly on one side, Shanley on the other. My father had been born on a farm in...
JOHN PATRICK SHANLEY I don't have credibility, I'm a comedian.
DENNIS MILLER I get very confused about being called a comedian, because when you say 'I'm a comedian,'...
BASSEM YOUSSEF They would elect a comedian like me,
AL FRANKEN I'm not a comedian. And I'm not sick. The world is sick, and I'm the doctor. I'm a s...
LENNY BRUCE All day long you sit and sew,
Stitch life down for fear it grow,
Stitch life down fo...
EDITH SITWELL Ladies,Please dress how you would like to be approached and talked to. Don't dress like a hoe and ex...
UNKNOWN Interdependent Thinking is a true system view of the world.
PEARL ZHU „Ein Mensch kann niemals Tier werden, er stürzt am Tier vorbei in den Abgrund
MARLEN HAUSHOFER We have nine children now half boys and half girls.
MARK TWAIN For me, a story begins with music: I feel the rhythm, the cadence, the pulse of the characters and t...
SUSAN CAMPBELL BARTOLETTI I like the Irish tap dancers.
JAMIE MULLEN Water flows because it's willing.
MARTY RUBIN Go with the flow even if there are rapids ahead.
JIM GENOVESE Don't resist life, flow with it.
JIM GENOVESE Life is more like dancing than wrestling if you follow its rhythm.
JIM GENOVESE The problem with compassion is that it is not photogenic.
SEBASTIAN HORSLEY Longing hearts could only stand so much longing.
MARGARET MITCHELL I would say I'm a goof ball, but not a comedian.
JAKE LACY I am not one for half measures or half-hearted efforts.
JAY INSLEE Look to your heart and soul first, rather than looking to your head first, when choosing. Rather tha...
JEFFREY R. ANDERSON Worse than the ordinary, miserable childhood is the miserable Irish childhood, and worse yet is the ...
FRANK MCCOURT
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JAMES ALLEN You can hide from the devil, but he'll always find you.
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NANCY ALLEN God is silent. Now if only man would shut up.
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DEBBIE ALLEN I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. . . I want to achieve it through not dying.
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ALLEN GINSBERG Nobody saves America by sniffing cocaine. Jiggling your knees blankeyed in the rain, when it snows i...
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ALLEN GINSBERG Whoever controls the media, the images, controls the culture.
ALLEN GINSBERG Trust free people and free enterprise as opposed to meddling, burdensome government.
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TIM ALLEN Every year, thousands of Californians flee that populous paradise for tax-eased small government oas...
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DAVID ALLEN This partnership of resources is a positive for our customers and farmers.
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DAVID ALLEN We're still waiting to hear what resources are needed.
DAVID ALLEN We were playing hardball and almost twisting their arm.
DAVID ALLEN I think it's just something to mislead the jury. And I don't think there's a problem anyway, because...
DAVID ALLEN The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to m...
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WOODY ALLEN I think all of those things, but certainly the booze really brought out the really unreasonable side...
RICK ALLEN Sex is nature's way of saying 'Hi!'
WOODY ALLEN Sex is like air; it's not important unless you aren't getting any
WOODY ALLEN sex is simple, love stings afterwards.
WOODY ALLEN If it wasn't for dogs, some people would never go for a walk.
WOODY ALLEN Polanski's 'Chinatown' is a film that I have purposefully and consciously imitated, but ...
ALLEN COULTER I like to get home, flop on the couch, and watch Sky Sports News. I'm just your average bloke.
ALFIE ALLEN Fifty-four forty, or fight.
WILLIAM ALLEN You don't want to hear about how much money I donate to the Boys and Girls Clubs of America or t...
ALLEN IVERSON Quite simply, federal laws already on the books aimed at stopping the flow of illegal immigration mu...
ALLEN WEST We had to match their physicality. They [officials] let everything go.
ADAM ALLEN You've got to put it out of your mind.
ADAM ALLEN I've never done this before. This is the best feeling in the world.
ADAM ALLEN We want to show how the university feels and show how the students feel and see how much of that is ...
ADAM ALLEN I know that a lot of gay people feel like if you're openly gay, by doing so you're sacrificing being...
ADAM ALLEN We knew the way they (Cougars) played, they were going to let us back in the game. We just kept batt...
ADAM ALLEN We knew the way (the Cougars) played they were going to let us back in the game. We just kept battli...
ADAM ALLEN I got a little present. I'm just glad we got the win. It's a big deal in Milton. We have great fans,...
ADAM ALLEN They tried to make other people beat them, which we did.
ADAM ALLEN That's probably the most disciplined team I've ever seen in high school basketball. All the teams in...
ADAM ALLEN I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100.
WOODY ALLEN The problem is that once the untrained mind has made a formal commitment to a religious philosophy -...
STEVE ALLEN It's the most complete team they've had since they had Xavier Lee and Kenny Scott.
STEVE ALLEN Other than chauffeuring, (our duties are) helping them find places to eat and helping them find nece...
STEVE ALLEN Other than chauffeuring, (our duties are) helping them find places to eat and helping them find nece...
STEVE ALLEN What we want is a healthy canopy. If we go in there and say, 'Just plant a bunch of trees,' they'll ...
STEVE ALLEN If you could make a car engine that was as efficient as one of these black hole engines you could ge...
STEVE ALLEN The hair is real; it's the head that's fake
STEVE ALLEN They wanted to do some inexpensive shopping at Wal-Mart.
STEVE ALLEN Based on the facts we have, police reports here give us cause for concern that there's other victims...
STEVE ALLEN Impartial observers from other planets would consider ours an utterly bizarre enclave if it were pop...
STEVE ALLEN ...we are entitled to make almost any reasonable assumption, but should resist making conclusions un...
STEVE ALLEN I don't want to own anything that won't fit into my coffin.
FRED ALLEN Her hat is a creation that will never go out of style; it will just look ridiculous year after year.
FRED ALLEN Where were you fellows when the paper was blank?
FRED ALLEN A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better.
FRED ALLEN An actor's popularity is fleeting. His success has the life expectancy of a small boy who is about t...
FRED ALLEN I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy.
FRED ALLEN All television is children's television.
FRED ALLEN If you took all the sincerity in Hollywood and put it in the navel of a fruit fly, you'd still have ...
FRED ALLEN I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
FRED ALLEN I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy
me.
FRED ALLEN When you get through all the phony tinsel of Hollywood, you find the
genuine tinsel underneath.
FRED ALLEN A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing, but
as a group decide nothing can ...
FRED ALLEN You hit road blocks in life, but I'm living proof that you can overcome those road blocks and be...
ALLEN IVERSON I don't think people think about Zook anymore at Florida. He's just a memory there now.
ALLEN WALLACE If he (Schilling) goes to Washington that will be a giant positive for them in many different ways.
ALLEN WALLACE A player makes a name for himself and then causes younger players to look and see what can be accomp...
ALLEN WALLACE If you win the mythical recruiting title, it shows you're focused, you've got momentum and that you'...
ALLEN WALLACE They [Stoops and Carroll] have a unique ability to plan for the short term and the long term at the ...
ALLEN WALLACE It's always harder to stay at the top. Soon they're going to find out what it's like to try to recru...
ALLEN WALLACE You don't see Penn State hanging on in the latter stages of these recruiting races for difference ma...
ALLEN WALLACE I think it's case of Penn State not focusing on the right kids. You don't see them often bringing in...
ALLEN WALLACE They have the stature now where they can appeal to anyone, anyplace.
ALLEN WALLACE What we are seeking is for the federal government to pick up the gap, ... The amount that they offer...
ALLEN WALKER I'm attached to my sailors. I'm not attached to my ship. (As) long as I bring my sailors back home t...
ALLEN WALKER If I had my druthers, we would have been finished with this months ago,
ALLEN WALKER I like living in a smaller town better than I do the city. People in Memphis are spread out doing th...
ALLEN WALKER We lost everything in the house as far as the house goes. Didn't have no insurance on none of it.
ALLEN WALKER It finally seems to be the right time. We seem to have an increased interest in nursing in our stude...
ALLEN WALKER A lot of the romance of the West is in here.
ALLEN TUCKER So, we are probably right about on average for the year. It was just a tough way to get there.
ALLEN TUCKER Our neighborhood has seen plenty of rain this year,
ALLEN TUCKER The weather this year sure has been a challenge.
ALLEN TUCKER We enact many laws that manufacture criminals, and then a few that punish them
ALLEN TUCKER We enact many laws that manufacture criminals, and then a few that punish them.
ALLEN TUCKER There's so much love that has been sent to that area, ... And I'm proud to be one of the senders. Bu...
ALLEN TOUSSAINT This is quite a time. Maybe the most unique time ever for me. But I can't thank everyone enough for ...
ALLEN TOUSSAINT It's surprising to me how much has happened in such a short length of time,
ALLEN TOUSSAINT Dr. John is phenomenal. Dr. John is a heavyweight and one of the nicest guys in the world -- unhurri...
ALLEN TOUSSAINT Southern Nights.
ALLEN TOUSSAINT Play Something Sweet (Brickyard Blues).
ALLEN TOUSSAINT Wow. Good heavens. I'm getting drenched just looking at these pictures. The water is whipping my bod...
ALLEN TOUSSAINT [Yet other artists and culture mavens say that the city has always swayed to its own meandering rhyt...
ALLEN TOUSSAINT holed up at the New Orleans Superdome hoping to get on a bus for Houston's Astrodome.
ALLEN TOUSSAINT the great American songbook.
ALLEN TOUSSAINT We have become a little Main Street. These shops are out there every single Saturday selling mostly ...
ALLEN THOMPSON This community has been outstanding. There are a lot of differences of opinion in this community, bu...
ALLEN THOMPSON